Insobot Quotes » j_blow json| csv| raw
ID Quote ⏷ Date Rating
354 wow i was really on drugs when i did this 2018-02-16
355 well isnt that amazing look at oh fuck 2018-02-16
484 this guy has zero viewers. No camera, no audio... But, y'know! 2018-07-19
235 svn commit -m "Started implementing Knack 3 for the $$$$$$ franchise MEGABUX" 2017-08-16
706 std::vector. Sign of quality. 2018-09-24
1322 printf() has the 'F' for paying respects built in. That's how smart the makers of the C programming language were. 2020-10-02
337 oh that's it, I see what I'm sayin' 2018-02-06
384 it's a webpage! of course it doesn't work! 2018-05-26
526 find_visual_studio_in_a_ridiculous_garbage_way :: () { 2018-08-30
1204 cmuratori: Look we need to talk about monads in Go (gonads), etc. 2020-04-20
1045 \q+ Somebody give me an operating system that doesn't close all my programs every random() MOD 8 number of nights, and that actually works! 2019-04-06
1087 [doing a Jedi handwave] You do not want to go in that direction, says the game. 2019-07-21
560 [On the Windows Store, looking at Candy Crush clones] Look, all these games are 4 stars or above. These are great games! 2018-09-02
173 [Jon] You don't look particularly hidden right now. [tek256] I'm in the shadows, I--Oh god! [gunshots] 2017-07-25
870 [Jai] For Dummies has a single page, but it doesn't say "get out", it says "git gud." 2018-10-18
1033 [In Zambia] The truck driver was trying to smuggle us past the 12-year old gang members with assault rifles. It was a pretty complete Africa experience. We rode on the truck with like 16 people piled into it. 2019-02-27
176 [Devon] I'm at peak manifestation right now. 2017-07-25
310 [Chris] Someone's trying to, uh... kill you, I guess. 2018-01-29
183 [Casey] You know, I just realized crossbow spoonerizes to boss crow. 2017-07-26
1245 [Casey] Why do all the games have to be bad? 2020-05-10
364 [Casey] We haven't even been given a goal, and we already have more items than a Costco. 2018-04-14
274 [Casey] Pube-g is happening. 2018-01-06
181 [Casey] It's an unsolved problem in computer science to know whether or not you can see somebody. 2017-07-26
178 [Casey] I regret to inform the academy that I still do not have a firearm. 2017-07-26
152 [Casey] I bought Youtube Red for that reason too. [Jon] I bought Redtube for that reason too. 2017-07-22
179 [Casey] I am literally stuck in a fucking pool. 2017-07-26
153 Your microaggressions disturb me. 2017-07-22
590 Your argument is not valid, as Reddit users would say. 2018-09-03
1407 You're not going to win the Tour de France with training wheels on your bicycle. That's just not a .. thing. Anyone who thinks they should go compete in the Tour de France with training wheels on their bicycle clearly has no competition experience. Now clearly you can make an argument that they should, 'cause look, if you fall over during the race, that's really bad, and the training wheels will keep you from falling over. It's a mistake 2021-04-27
1290 You're not allowed to criticize reasonable users for being confused by a bad ui. 2020-07-10
515 You're just bothering me with information that's not correct, Microsoft people who think you're really smart. ... I don't know why everyone at Microsoft isn't fired at this point. 2018-08-27
1163 You're a computer nerd, you're never going to want that cable to be rolled up again. Screw you, buddy. 2019-12-03
22 You'll go bananas trying to deal with this problem. 2016-07-25
1276 You'll die in the fire, so that's a minor problem with that plan. 2020-06-20
813 You'll be sorry you landed the same place I landed. Unless I fuck up, in which case you won't be sorry. 2018-10-15
378 You would be donating in decibels, obviously. In gamma-corrected decibels. 2018-05-26
348 You will respect my velocity! 2018-02-11
598 You totally couldn't do this in caveman days. 2018-09-04
910 You should be constantly evaluating what you think you know, and modifying it based on your experience. 2018-11-12
1060 You put your ass in the chair, you DO IT, and then you have something to feel good about. 2019-04-14
128 You might say "7 instructions, that sounds like a lot", but it's way way less than taking a cache miss, bucko! 2017-05-25
298 You may ask yourself, "where did my shadowmap go?" 2018-01-16
940 You know. Kitten, bunny, squirrel. 2018-11-24
317 You know, sometimes you just can't run rc.exe. And you need to do some gaming. 2018-02-04
1006 You know, sometimes people as me how do you get into the game industry, how do you really succeed? And I say the answer is don't snake, snake, but sometimes even I'm not able to avoid snake, snaking apparently, so maybe I just have to quit. Maybe my life is sad. 2019-01-03
1443 You know, I sure hope honey doesn't have any calories in it. 2022-12-05
639 You know, I bet that when you win in this game it doesn't even say chicken dinner. It probably says like, "Sitrep: you were the only one left alive." 2018-09-16
896 You know who was on the Visual Studio programming team? Ali G. Here's when he was consulting with the Visual Studio team on designing the interface: [plays video of Ali G saying "nine nine nine nine nine..."] He was an intern at Microsoft when they were wondering how many zeroes to put here. 2018-10-22
1099 You know when you look under your bed and there's like hairballs and cat barf because you had a cat 10 years ago and it died and you never cleaned under your bed, that's what we're doing right now. Or like you forgot you had a cat, and there's a dead cat under the bed? You're like "Oh, that's what's been going on." 2019-07-29
1431 You know how they say there's Covid toe? I wonder if there's Covid left-half-of-back-of-your-neck. 2022-03-30
488 You have to understand that there are a lot of programming subcultures, and they all call the same set of 5 ideas 17 different things. 2018-07-29
192 You have to make sure your thing is good, so you know it's worth people's time. 2017-07-27
1266 You have to decide to get serious. 2020-06-10
417 You have a certain limited band of frequencies, and if you put waves that exceed the Nyquist limit, then nobody's gonna be able to decode it. That's what bandwidth is: it's the fact that your connection is a TUBE. 2018-05-29
1140 You get reasonable error messages for some definition of reasonable. 2019-08-17
976 You don't want your compiler to die on a thousand indie games. 2018-12-23
1400 You don't want to be a GTA developer, that's all I'm saying. 2021-03-03
341 You don't know exactly what a game is when you start it. 2018-02-09
99 You don't have to finish Stephen's Sausage Roll, you're just missing possibly the greatest puzzle game of all time. It's your choice, man. 2017-02-07
388 You don't get a car! And you don't get a car! And you don't get a car! 2018-05-26
1195 You don't ever want to design Portal 2 if you can help it. 2020-04-13
411 You didn't need to type bracket T typename fuckity fuck for every single one. 2018-05-29
993 You can't say my opinion about clock cycles is wrong! 2019-01-01
67 You can't multiply in C++ because it is a pointer dereference. 2017-02-05
815 You can't balance a game that's full of garbage guns. 2018-10-15
599 You can intend all day for your code to get fast and it won't actually get faster. 2018-09-04
1412 You can choose not respond to something, but the problem is you've perceived the thing, and it has disturbed your tranquility. 2021-06-22
161 Yeah. Let's play again and not die. 2017-07-24
1303 Yeah, why would you program and design video games, when you can be a moose. I mean, think about it. 2020-08-16
469 Yeah, this is kinda stinky. 2018-06-06
275 Yeah, the chat is not some beacon of intellectual amazingness. 2018-01-06
888 Yeah, the bar for quotes seem pretty low right now. 2018-10-22
454 Yeah, that's just bad juju if we crash. 2018-06-02
483 Yeah, minimalist is not a good excuse for "I didn't work very hard on this." 2018-07-19
397 Yeah, don't read Hacker News about productivity. It's not a good source. 2018-05-26
481 Yeah, decibels are worse than the Web. Except that, the web is more pervasive, so yeah. 2018-07-19
1152 Yeah, I worked on The Witness a little bit. 2019-10-16
671 Yeah, I learned how to do this on paper in grade school, guys. 2018-09-21
1144 Yeah, I just live in some other reality. 2019-08-20
56 Y'all ready to try an experiment? 2017-02-02
991 Wrap everything in 17 smart pointers. 2019-01-01
829 Wowsers. 2018-10-15
2 Wow, I just ate something weird. 2016-03-02
1247 Working with Unreal Engine is like doing your taxes every day for the rest of your life. 2020-05-14
657 Without mobility and owning that guy I would be so dead right now. 2018-09-17
250 Windows has NEVER found a solution to the problem. 2017-10-29
494 Windows Update Facilitation Service... Startup type: Disabled. Access is denied?? "I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that." 2018-07-31
408 Windows 10 is getting worse and worse. It's a better time now to displace Windows than any other time in history. 2018-05-28
1065 Why would I ask the robot? The robot doesn't know anything. 2019-04-17
91 Why isn't it accepting 15 16? That's just communist. 2017-02-06
270 Why is this the game that I'm playing? 2017-12-26
844 Why is everybody not playing the good mode? 2018-10-16
326 Why don't you tell me what capability? Because you don't give a shit, because you don't care that people can't use your API. 2018-02-05
689 Why don't you just go to Mars and make awesome space robots that breakdance? 2018-09-23
1281 Why don't you guys start talking about what colors you should use for Javascript syntax highlighting. I really would like to know that. What size protobufs should you use in order to get maximum syntax highlighting for Javascript? 2020-06-28
134 Why does the red top make my suspenders not be there? 2017-06-03
1350 Why does my web cam look so nice? That's just me. I look really nice. So ... I just make everything good. 2020-11-29
728 Why do you think this is a game? 2018-09-30
476 Why do diamonds roll so much? I don't know... 2018-06-19
553 Why do I have to do this just because somebody else decided to build a hamster wheel I have to run on? 2018-08-31
202 Why do I have a preference for right-handed coordinates? Because they're better. 2017-08-04
1415 Why do I even internet? 2021-07-26
159 Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he didn't want to get shot. 2017-07-24
871 Why did I do that? This is awful. 2018-10-18
1408 Why can't life just be me eating ice cream? 2021-05-22
443 Why are people working on things? 2018-05-31
70 Why are people backseat driving? 2017-02-05
1003 Why are all editors terrible? I don't understand. 2019-01-03
741 Why are VR games such pieces of poop? 2018-09-30
334 Why am I wasting my life doing this? 2018-02-05
865 Why am I in Witness?? 2018-10-18
224 Whoops! I'm makin' all kind of typos. 2017-08-12
125 Whoever designed this part of the game is fired. 2017-05-18
13 Whoever designed that would be fired from my company. 2016-05-14
303 Whoever animated that didn't know anything about... anything. 2018-01-28
649 Whoa. Didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. 2018-09-16
370 Whoa, there's really not that many compiler errors left. We may soon be close to the time when we get to run it and watch it crash because I did something horribly wrong. 2018-05-25
778 Whoa! Rep is bigger than sit! 2018-10-12
350 Who knows what the hell "decibels" means? I still don't know. I know what they mean but I still don't know what they mean. 2018-02-12
1066 Who fucking designed this game? 2019-04-17
252 Who doesn't want to get off Emacs? It's terrible. 2017-10-29
835 Who could have predicted that there would be a further collapse? 2018-10-15
665 Where is freedom of speech on here? 2018-09-20
1028 When your syntax highlighting looks like angry fruit salad, how does that help you anyway? 2019-02-24
611 When you're learning to program, for the many, many years that it takes, the one thing that the computer is telling you constantly, all the times is "You're dumb, and you're wrong and what you're trying to do doesn't work." That is your conversation with the computer for *years*, until you get good. 2018-09-07
339 When you screw up an API like this, Everybody pays for it for a long time FOREVER. 2018-02-06
346 When you cross off an item on your todo list, you want it to feel good. 2018-02-10
1368 When you cast an integer to another size, you should cast the integer to the other size. THAT is my tip of how to succeed in the game industry that overrides all previous tips previously ever given, except any tip about getting good. 2021-01-14
1300 When you buttify, you have to spread. 2020-07-23
428 When did Google get so crappy? 2018-05-30
984 When I'm designing this programming language, I'm doing it in a chef-like way. 2019-01-01
472 When I try to undo nothing happens! Oh my god! It's just like all those games that don't have undo! 2018-06-07
419 When I look at gamedev it kinda sucks. 2018-05-29
743 What? Now the window is on my other monitor! 2018-09-30
1336 What's 30 Braids in decibels is what you guys should be asking. 2020-10-28
322 What was I smoking last night? [...] I was smoking the right thing, apparently. 2018-02-04
381 What the hell were people doing in here? 2018-05-26
72 What the hell tea is this? 2017-02-05
1428 What kind of idiot dedicates their life to video games? I don't even understand how I ended up here. 2022-02-18
982 What kind of game do you think this is? Of course there's a struct "Egg". 2018-12-26
501 What is your objective argument that red is a nice color? 2018-08-04
77 What is this game about? It's about pushing boxes. 2017-02-06
807 What is this fiction that we're all surprised that we want to shoot each other? 2018-10-13
1257 What is this C# .... They wanted this to be as slow as possible 2020-06-07
699 What is holding back porn films from becoming a socially acceptable artistic medium? 2018-09-24
700 What is holding back boxes of detergent at the groceery store from becoming a socially acceptable artistic medium? 2018-09-24
527 What is all this? 2018-08-30
528 What is a BSTR? You know what, I don't want to know. It's something... a BSTR is just something. 2018-08-30
1017 What if you want to make a really positive integer at some point? 10 megabytes might not be enough. 2019-01-09
761 What if I do something exciting like download Windows? Wouldn't that be cool? 2018-10-04
500 What happens when you take an action platformer and you subtract level design, and the levels are just... stuff? (Which is what Metroid is, by the way.) 2018-08-04
735 What happens if my ball gets stabbed? ...don't make that a quote. 2018-09-30
416 What do you think wires are? They're tubes with electrons going through them. Your connection to the Internet is a series of tubes, that's just how it is. 2018-05-29
1013 What do I ever say that's important? The code is important! 2019-01-06
332 What did we learn? We learned that system is a disaster in windows and you shouldn't use it. 2018-02-05
331 What are all of these windows? Let's get rid of these things... 2018-02-05
146 What are ScriptableObjects? Is that a Unity thing? Are you seriously asking me about a Unity thing? 2017-07-20
344 What a garbage. 2018-02-09
765 What a garbage. 2018-10-04
998 What I'm doing today is obviously not the optimum, but it's clearly the best thing I can do after 37 years of experience programming. 2019-01-01
638 What I really need is a sitrep. 2018-09-16
239 Well, welcome to OpenGL. 2017-08-18
1232 Well, we printed some pointers. I hope you enjoyed those pointers. 2020-05-03
583 Well, this is a real question. 2018-09-03
530 Well, this garbage compiles. 2018-08-30
382 Well, it'll just be broken until next time. 2018-05-26
1259 Well, it didn't take an hour to output red. 2020-06-07
1092 Well, I'm glad to be rid of those 200 lines because some of them were hairy and I was scared of them. 2019-07-26
57 Well it didn't work, and we can't debug it. So that's it. I quit programming now. 2017-02-02
1007 Web programming is the janitor work of programming. 2019-01-06
957 We've got to figure out which chain-link is not fencing. 2018-12-09
508 We've already won at game development. 2018-08-10
1015 We've already basically played everything tonight. Basically. 2019-01-06
207 We're writing so many programs, we don't even know which one has to run now. 2017-08-07
75 We're trackin' 2017-02-05
929 We're still 0-bagging, but we're survivor-baggin'. Like Bilbo Baggins was a survivor, you know? 2018-11-19
423 We're only missing our entire program that we actually want. 2018-05-30
947 We're not quite at the chai line, but we're getting there. 2018-12-02
282 We're not doing foofoo softie stuff. 2018-01-13
451 We're making the program so much better by putting semicolons in. 2018-06-02
1111 We're just not like crappy pixel-art indie. 2019-07-31
243 We're just gonna die, it's fine. 2017-09-18
424 We're in full on computer disaster right now. 2018-05-30
1326 We're in C++ so we have to say "++". That's the rule. 2020-10-16
581 We're in 3-digit subscriber numbers! Now the Illuminati will send me a message saying "you're so famous now, we're going to tell you all the Illuminati secrets." 2018-09-03
936 We're gonna push some blocks like we often do in this game. 2018-11-24
981 We're gonna need an intense fuzz session on that. 2018-12-26
410 We're gonna keep pushing it til it breaks, because I'm pretty sure I know how to break it. 2018-05-29
738 We're gonna have to whack this real hard. ...Maybe too hard. 2018-09-30
675 We're gonna have to increment the cake counter later tonight. 2018-09-22
681 We're gonna have a little unicorn tail here, but we're gonna sitrep that right out. 2018-09-22
1025 We're going to have to actually look at what the code is doing, as opposed to just typing things. 2019-02-06
345 We're getting rid of the A's~ 2018-02-09
98 We're getting nested here. 2017-02-07
392 We're down to 10300 lines in this file, one day it might be below ten thousand again. 2018-05-26
1267 We're doing this the efficient programmer way, but we could do this the modern programmer way. 2020-06-11
1348 We're basically three times as good as par. 2020-11-28
4 We'll just have a "bottom of the screen is not in view" day. 2016-03-17
1137 We'll give slowpokes six minutes to get here, 2019-08-17
1139 We will start in 1.173265 minutes. 2019-08-17
618 We were in the 80s and now we're in the 90s. 2018-09-12
105 We want high resolution cute kittens. 2017-03-25
35 We still don't, to this day, know how to make things weigh the same as a duck. 2017-01-22
1360 We should just call this game "Push, push, push," and then people will think it's a pregnancy simulator. 2020-12-04
49 We see arguments. It's like seeing dead people, but different. 2017-01-28
1097 We proto'd our buf successfully. 2019-07-29
551 We no longer need to run VCVars. Or run VSWhere. Or run VSBoondogleBS 1.7. 2018-08-31
1264 We need to bring back villains that say "You have failed me for the last time." 2020-06-09
1014 We might start an international incident if we play this. 2019-01-06
975 We just want to be all Mike Acton and understand our data now. 2018-12-23
1044 We just need to push the reboot button on every technical decision involved in the world wide web. 2019-04-05
1435 We have too many red fives standing by. 2022-07-23
1295 We have string metaphors. I mean, we do have string figuratives also, but people say string figurative when they mean string literal, so we just gave up and made string figuratives and string literals be the same thing. And so when we did that, we had to make string metaphors, which are the old semantics of string figuratives. 2020-07-19
324 We have problems. 2018-02-04
312 We have different definitions of the word "works". 2018-01-31
188 We have come to the time where "later" is now. 2017-07-27
1187 We have a superpower. Our superpower is that we're old. 2020-04-04
1384 We gotta return the string, guys, otherwise we ain't going to succeed in the games industry. 2021-02-11
782 We gotta own some noobs while there's still noobs. 2018-10-12
620 We got a problemo. The most important part of that is "lame-o". 2018-09-12
536 We don't host Javascript here, unless I'm too tired to notice that it's Javascript. 2018-08-30
1285 We don't FU in this language. 2020-06-29
1203 We do not order pineapple on pizza in this house. 2020-04-19
1389 We do not make progress by merely by complaining about all the bad programmers, we also make progress by implementing useful functionality in a powerful way that works robustly, and so we shall continue to do that now. 2021-02-15
1217 We did the wrong thing. How is this even working? 2020-05-02
1226 We deleted all the code that makes the CPU keep us warm by spinning all the time. 2020-05-03
672 We could do React.js. SIKE!!! 2018-09-21
724 We could delete PUBG, because we're probably not ever gonna play it. 2018-09-30
1224 We can't have a code deletion party on an empty stomach. 2020-05-02
1100 We can compile a program faster than cloc can count the lines in it. 2019-07-29
1358 We are three times as far into the future as Max Headroom ever was. That's all I'm going to say about that. 2020-11-30
702 We are not in a society that is oriented around making things that are meaningful or deep or aesthetically beautiful. 2018-09-24
963 We are in the middle of not knowing right now. 2018-12-12
1197 We are going to break everything today, and it's gonna be Awesome. 2020-04-18
68 We are SO beyond compiler bug territory. We're past the thunderdome here. 2017-02-05
636 Was that me choking on water? Or was it someone else? 2018-09-15
943 Walking to the right is dangerous business. 2018-11-25
407 Walk the walk or stop talking the talk. 2018-05-28
319 Wait, wanted gave us nothing but given gave us something! 2018-02-04
749 Wait, the goblins have an army of orcs? How does that work? 2018-09-30
256 Wait, I made the wrong kind of tea! It's a disaster. 2017-11-28
520 Vulkan has failed as far as I'm concerned. I don't wanna hear about it, frankly. 2018-08-29
1199 Visual Studio makes me dislike programming so much that I'm going to eat a large bag of Reese's Pieces and get fat and die. 2020-04-18
396 Visual Studio hates programmers 2018-05-26
1145 Video games: they often don't make a lot of sense. 2019-08-22
864 Video games, man! They just get complicated. 2018-10-18
1181 Valve does not really believe in game design, in my opinion. 2020-03-26
892 VS Code? Isn't that one of those editors that's basically a Web browser, and you press a key and it takes 100 milliseconds for your keystroke to register? 2018-10-22
1237 Usually when you have an array its full of stuff ... you know. 2020-05-04
1200 Usually I'm afraid of commitment, but now I'm finally ready. 2020-04-18
586 Unnecessary complication must be... REMOVED! 2018-09-03
519 Understanding your dependencies and minimizing your dependencies is critically important and nobody cares anymore. 2018-08-28
343 UltraSearch is so ultra, that it's beyond the need to case-sensitively search. 2018-02-09
938 Uh oh, I messed that up. I was trying to hit F and I hit G... for Gamer. 2018-11-24
669 Ugh. Okay, so forget my saying that stuff worked the first time. 2018-09-21
87 Twitch is fascist. 2017-02-06
238 Trying to program in OpenGL is like if you were a Microsoft first-year summer intern and they made you program in Visual F##+++ for Office Team System One and with a Visual Basic++ plugin and you had to program for UWP and everything was just awesome. 2017-08-16
465 To get into the game industry you need to be good at C++... But, you'd be surprised. 2018-06-03
427 To all of you saying "oh just stop complaining and read the documentation it's fine"... do you make good things? 2018-05-30
762 Time goes by so fast, I just don't know what to do about it. 2018-10-04
920 Time flies sometimes. I don't know where it goes. 2018-11-18
163 Those cheap European cars *car does a flip* 2017-07-24
387 Those are yesterday's breakpoints! 2018-05-26
1178 This was from a Polaroid camera that one of the event organizer had and its very hipster, like the pictures come out pre-sepia toned and faded which I guess is part of the appeal of having a Polaroid camera. 2020-03-24
58 This shouldn't be hard, why are you all assholes? 2017-02-02
110 This should definitely kill one of the dimensions. And it doesn't. 2017-03-25
74 This scrollbar will have explosions. I guarantee. 2017-02-05
569 This might be a problem that I don't know how to solve. 2018-09-03
605 This looks like what happens when you kill the horses in Scum. 2018-09-05
1261 This looks good to me, for some definition of good. 2020-06-07
227 This is worth getting killed for right here. 2017-08-14
593 This is why I date my comments. 2018-09-04
511 This is what hell is like. No Exit was written like 40 years too early. 2018-08-25
426 This is what happens when you design your APIs to assume spaces are not a thing. 2018-05-30
1037 This is what happens when you burn everything to the ground, it's like... you've got problems. 2019-02-28
366 This is what happens when people other than me work on things. 2018-05-11
323 This is what happens when I don't sleep enough before superstream Sunday. 2018-02-04
83 This is what UI code is by the way, it's just a bunch of stuff. 2017-02-06
676 This is the type of thing that junior programmers do all the time. 2018-09-22
197 This is the tax you pay for working in OpenGL. 2017-08-03
1186 This is the natural eigenvector of twitch chat. 2020-03-29
546 This is such a garbage. 2018-08-31
772 This is so bananas. 2018-10-11
953 This is one of those levels where you look at it and you just think "What the fuck?" 2018-12-04
1253 This is officially the last time I use Uber eats. 2020-05-30
781 This is obviously a highly professional thing. My next job is as a graphic designer. 2018-10-12
47 This is not a dancing stream. 2017-01-27
40 This is mostly for you guys. 2017-01-25
425 This is making me mad. Who did this? 2018-05-30
570 This is literally unsolvable at a basic level. 2018-09-03
1047 This is just really not what I want to be seeing. 2019-04-06
198 This is just a horrible paste-orama. 2017-08-03
1174 This is just The Sims with guns. 2020-01-05
1307 This is good, we understand the universe now. 2020-08-29
46 This is gonna be like playing music, but we don't destroy other music. 2017-01-27
1379 This is going to be so stupid, it's amazing. 2021-01-31
391 This is gnarly enough that I'm gonna put a thing here called @Gnarly 2018-05-26
1221 This is getting to be a very deep rabbit hole very fast. [...] At this point you give up, you stop programming and you play video games. 2020-05-02
507 This is game development, people. This is how the sausage gets made. I hope you understand how much effort is going into this. 2018-08-10
790 This is double plus ungood. 2018-10-13
439 This is counter to my entire personality. 2018-05-31
289 This is by far not the fastest way to do this, BUT WHO CARES?!?!?!?!? 2018-01-15
60 This is boring and stupid. 2017-02-02
683 This is an award-winning situation. 2018-09-22
630 This is an Activision game, how does it not work?! ...Don't answer that, I know the answer. 2018-09-15
115 This is a testament to how far you can get with something that is totally broken. 2017-03-26
434 This is a super-garbage right now, by the way. This is a massive garbage. 2018-05-30
509 This is a millennial game where it doesn't want to show you how bad you are compared to the world. 2018-08-11
114 This is a little bit annoying, because we multiplied by our hack factor and stuff. 2017-03-26
1381 This is a job for compile time execution, guys! 2021-02-07
356 This is a hack. I admit it. 2018-02-16
964 This is a game about society. 2018-12-12
329 This is a fully mental ... insaino ... crazy disaster. 2018-02-05
997 This is a family channel. We're only playing this for educational purposes. 2019-01-01
855 This guy's a noob and I'm a potato. 2018-10-17
927 This guy wasn't even a gamer. 2018-11-19
1034 This game's going to be so baller when it's done. 2019-02-27
0 This could be very exciting, potentially. 2016-03-02
162 This car steers like a cow. 2017-07-24
1372 This caching is mostly working. But as you know, there's a big difference between mostly working, and all working. 2021-01-21
15 This battle required 3 times as much programming as the rest of the game. 2016-05-15
994 This UI is so modern that I can't figure out how to do it. 2019-01-01
632 Third partied! 2018-09-15
393 Thinking about continuation passing was fun back when I was a Scheme fanboy. 2018-05-26
986 They've calibrated their methods in a world of easy problems. 2019-01-01
909 They're these bad doughy slices of low-quality ingredients. Sorry, that's just how it is. 2018-11-12
624 They're not Internet-flame-bait caliber disagreements. 2018-09-14
786 They're calling me a beta. 2018-10-13
112 They're all at z=1. How is that even a good idea? 2017-03-26
928 They should just put a line on the ground. Pretend it's part of the Super Combat Man Combat HUD. 2018-11-19
42 They should call me Mr T because of all the tea I drink. 2017-01-25
748 They look ornery. 2018-09-30
300 They keep changing Photoshop, and it doesn't... work. 2018-01-18
516 They just didn't read my mind. I don't know why. 2018-08-27
742 They ignore [input] if the window doesn't have focus. THAT is a sign they they're using Unity or something. 2018-09-30
1370 They call me Reverta Williams, game developer. 2021-01-18
779 These people are not delivering my food! Freaking communist... 2018-10-12
1223 Therefore, press F to pay respects. [...] I feel like the majority of our streaming audience does have respect. 2020-05-02
17 There's this thing in C++ called SFINAE, but it's banana nut balls. 2016-05-21
251 There's some basic bug. 2017-10-29
615 There's so much weird irrelevant garbage information on Google that I don't know what to do. 2018-09-07
144 There's no weird constructor juice. 2017-07-10
433 There's no reason that computers don't work that way by default, except that... people... do bad things. 2018-05-30
1042 There's gotta be like a spaceship operator version of this, right? 2019-04-04
380 There's different kinds of programmers. There are programmers who don't really know how anything works, and who just can write glue code and high level things that ask for things to happen and then they hope they happen. And then there's programmers who know how things work and can make stuff from first principles. Those second kinds of programmers are a lot more powerful. 2018-05-26
1118 There's code here that's, like, disagreeing. 2019-08-01
918 There's at least three levels now. There's coder, programmer and engineer. Coder is if you work at Twitter. Programmer is if you work at Infinity War. Engineer is if you work at IBM or NASA. The People who use only JavaScript are definitely coders, or think they're coders. Maybe there's even a fourth level below coder. 2018-11-18
1035 There's always more swamp to drain. 2019-02-27
285 There's a fine art of not getting sidetracked too far from what you're working on. 2018-01-15
571 There's a few things not to do in this channel, and one of them is to advocate for garbage collection. 2018-09-03
1061 There was this phrase, I forget exactly what it was, but like, "The compiler is smarter than you are" or whatever, and it's not true. It's smarter than you are if you're a bozo. 2019-04-16
497 There sure is a lot of anime porn stuff on Creative. 2018-07-31
1048 There is zero amount of UB in this language. We do not respect the concept of UB. UB stands for "Ugly Bullshit" and I'll have none of it. 2019-04-06
182 There is a thing called criminal negligence. 2017-07-26
1392 There comes a time when you have eaten all the chocolates, and there are no more chocolates. It is a very sad time. 2021-02-23
1005 There are 11 time zones in this code. 2019-01-03
1138 Then we had this thing where we decided to switch to phones because it's much better to type on phones and create content on phones. 2019-08-17
575 The worst would be to put nothing here at all. Well, the ABSOLUTE worst would be to be Javascript. 2018-09-03
61 The weights are all -1 which means the problem is that this shader doesn't even lift. 2017-02-02
1316 The way that I succeed in life is keeping everything as absolutely simple as possible, right? Which often is quite complicated. 2020-09-25
10 The type of a type is Type. 2016-05-07
884 The sticky pad was no longer sticky enough. 2018-10-22
850 The self-stun is a pro strat, uh, I saw people who are very pro do that strat. 2018-10-17
603 The reason this is happening is because I am dumb. 2018-09-05
272 The reason atomics are templates in C++ is because C++ went insane. 2018-01-06
377 The reason I don't have much hair right now is OpenGL. 2018-05-26
1378 The reason "DevOps" is popular is because it sounds like you're a secret agent or something, whereas "system administrator" sounds like you're a secretary that's why. That is the only reason. 2021-01-28
535 The question for next time is kinda like "who is John Galt"... It's "what is CLSID_SetupConfiguration? And why should I care?" 2018-08-30
995 The police arrested my correct code. 2019-01-01
1339 The people who wrote the (graphics device) drivers are a lot like current people running for president in that they don't give and f-k about you at all and don't care how hard of a time you have, and make your life needlessly painful. That is what I don't like about OpenGL. 2020-10-31
1004 The people who make these editors are a word you can't say anymore because it hurts peoples feelings. 2019-01-03
487 The name of this engine is The Super Amazing Brilliant Better-Than-Unity/Godot Master Amazo Engine. 2018-07-29
1159 The most interesting computational work is not being done in Javascript. 2019-11-30
601 The most frustrating time during The Witness voice acting was just the voice actors' union not bothering to get back to us. 2018-09-05
145 The key is to let the people who make the content do most of the work. 2017-07-20
1235 The job of an editor is to let me edit my text file! 2020-05-03
118 The incoming bullets are weird... they don't feel that incoming. 2017-05-15
894 The idea that any professional programmer would rely on a random website hosting their source control is bananas. I don't understand. 2018-10-22
138 The guards all have shoddy bows. It's the new Benghazi. 2017-06-06
156 The ghost is levying microaggressions at me. 2017-07-22
453 The game's going to run so much faster with all these semicolons. It's going to be awesome! 2018-06-02
697 The game's done at this point. 2018-09-24
280 The fuck is this?? Get-- ughhhhhhhh, Team Explorer... 2018-01-10
496 The fact that they're so aggressive about it and they prevent you from stopping it, it is literally insane. The cost to the world of those machines rebooting all the time is higher than whatever security you get from being so strict about it. It is literally pompous and insane and totally out of line. Bizzarely, insanely megalomaniacally out of line. And they get away with it because people put up with it, so I dunno. I guess the world is just gonna end. 2018-07-31
81 The difference between bad software and good software is that in good software you go fix the problems. 2017-02-06
1375 The computer will not move the electrons around unless you use getters and setters. It just won't do it. The integrated circuit chips, the CPU clock will not oscillate up and down unless you call a getter. 2021-01-22
613 The computer is the most autistic thing, and it just constantly says "No", and you have to navigate that. That's your job. 2018-09-07
751 The cardboard wall made of styrofoam cardboard. 2018-09-30
851 The boat club OWNS! 2018-10-17
499 The bat is so unlocked. 2018-08-04
610 The amount of work that gets done in an average Web company is almost zero. 2018-09-05
242 The amount of idea that I have is zero 2017-08-26
775 The Witness was hard, man. 2018-10-12
1164 The VR isn't making this better. In fact it's making it worse. 2019-12-03
466 The Unicode people are crazy. 2018-06-06
360 The Mozart candy made my brain start to work. 2018-04-01
325 The C++ standards committee is not reality-based. 2018-02-04
828 The Banana Man? That's not the real Banana Man! 2018-10-15
595 The Anti-Defamation League closed my compiler. 2018-09-04
974 That's yesterday's news. Now we're building tunnels under Los Angeles. 2018-12-23
80 That's the problem with streaming, is that I say stuff and then it gets added to the quotes. 2017-02-06
1039 That's some Einstein shit right there. 2019-03-13
836 That's so Rainbow Six-y right there. 2018-10-15
680 That's professional game development right there. 2018-09-22
187 That's pretty good! 2017-07-27
1067 That's not what "fantastical" means, asshole. God, if you're going to write for the game, learn what words mean. 2019-04-20
956 That's not gonna make people not sick. 2018-12-08
34 That's not even in the shader man, that's totally in the if statement. 2017-01-22
960 That's just how you do it. It's like you go to the weight room. You do a 10 pound weight, then a 15 pound weight next time, and then a 20 pound weight, and before you know it, you're staring in Terminator 7. 2018-12-10
85 That's just great when you try to repro something and then you just go Holy *** 2017-02-06
90 That's just communist. 2017-02-06
802 That's just art game stuff. What matters is that the gun makes a loud bitchin' noise. 2018-10-13
666 That's it, I'm quitting game development. I'm buying this island. 2018-09-20
1222 That's how you debug, okay? You don't plod through in the debugger until you see exactly the tiny thing that goes wrong. You do it until you get a picture of the situation and use that picture of the situation combined with your knowledge of what your trying to do and the knowledge of the system as a whole to jump to conclusions. You want to jump to conclusions. 2020-05-02
441 That's how much I hate computers. 2018-05-31
576 That's better. We're one step further from Javascript on the badness scale. 2018-09-03
1151 That's almost, like, not totally unreasonable. 2019-10-08
330 That's a very "Russian pencil on the spaceship" kind of solution. 2018-02-05
9 That's a little better. Whatever it's not gonna solve world peace. 2016-05-07
1029 That's a cleaner pizza pie. 2019-02-25
160 That's 2 for 2, by the way, for car flips. 2017-07-24
374 That would be a bug, but it would be one that I don't want to fix right now. 2018-05-26
142 That was weaksauce! That was the weakest sauce in the sauce-world. 2017-06-26
158 That was some advanced computer science right there. 2017-07-22
119 That was no Half-Life tram ride. 2017-05-15
817 That was just a festival of me hitting the wrong keys. 2018-10-15
1416 That was actually quite easy, but my brain didn't brain. 2021-07-29
688 That must have been just a one-off special Christmas hack that I did. 2018-09-23
1126 That may not be hard, but it may be hard. 2019-08-05
24 That may just be me being stodgy and / or stubborn. 2016-08-23
208 That is worth some chocolate. If I program well I get fat, so that's ok. 2017-08-07
223 That is too lousy. Even I will not do that! 2017-08-12
969 That is not the right code. Don't type that. 2018-12-22
206 That is good action, if I may say so. Take that, PowerPoint! 2017-08-07
900 That is a very wrappery wrapper. 2018-10-22
315 That is a failure of the first order, and I don't mean Star Wars. 2018-02-04
912 That guy was a bathroom-hider. 2018-11-12
349 That didn't actually fix anything. But it was wrong! 2018-02-11
966 That crapifies the build process. 2018-12-15
430 That appears to have worked... Ship it! 2018-05-30
1080 Thanks, Windows, for trying to pretend like you didn't reboot my machine! 2019-06-14
217 Thanks Microsoft, for this... program that I payed thousands of dollars for. 2017-08-11
1229 Thank you! I'm quitting video games and all programming for ever. The end. 2020-05-03
588 Thank you Emacs for deleting half my file. I don't know how I put up with all of this anymore. 2018-09-03
889 Tearing up code is the fun thing. 2018-10-22
824 Take the armor! Fucking 10 tick server. 2018-10-15
363 THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO!!! 2018-04-14
1333 Syntax error: IQ too low. 2020-10-23
82 Swap = true, boom boom. 2017-02-06
55 Svn commit -m "Dank." 2017-02-02
148 Svn commit -m "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?????!??!?!?!?" 2017-07-20
437 Summer intern doesn't even test their code. 2018-05-30
682 Summer intern could have done that in 10 minutes, but NO! 2018-09-22
979 Successful language design is about realism. 2018-12-25
143 Structurally, that was just a tiny, benign tumor. 2017-06-27
470 String interpolation? We don't do that because... *sighhh*... Lots of reasons. 2018-06-06
403 Stack Overflow is saying "use std::hash". Yeah, bite me. I'm just gonna mod it by a prime number. 2018-05-28
1444 Spammy in Miami - it's the sequel to Sleepless in Seattle. 2022-12-05
12 Sorry, I didn't eat enough cookies and my brain sugar is low. 2016-05-07
18 Sooo sub-optimal. 2016-07-24
297 Sometimes, monkey debugging is the best debugging. 2018-01-16
195 Sometimes, cars don't always stay on their wheels, is all I'm saying. 2017-07-30
1231 Sometimes your game is better when it uses more pixels. That's just how it is. 2020-05-03
1074 Sometimes you just need to break eggs before you can unbreak eggs. 2019-05-10
1430 Sometimes you have to go to the Michelin 3-star restaurant in your underwear to find the bug. 2022-03-24
1088 Sometimes we do things and they actually make sense. 2019-07-24
271 Sometimes we break things. 2018-01-06
103 Sometimes things seem wrong but they're actually right. 2017-03-25
1024 Sometimes that's what programming is like. You try to do a two minute thing, and then you become very sad. 2019-02-06
140 Sometimes programming is just about reverting. 2017-06-26
245 Sometimes people just want to make decisions that are not the best life decisions and you have to respect that. 2017-09-25
1437 Sometimes it's just best to make your problems go away, you know? 2022-09-23
1179 Sometimes in life you have to miss something really good. 2020-03-24
1388 Sometimes clicking "start streaming" button is my way to get myself to start doing things that are useful. 2021-02-15
95 Sometimes I get bummed out about how my error messages aren't that good, and then I see this garbage. 2017-02-07
1351 Sometimes I can program, even when I'm tired and punchy. 2020-11-29
106 Something is broken, and I think it's OpenGL. 2017-03-25
934 Someone is fired. 2018-11-23
409 Someone in chat mentioned reinventing the wheel? Oh boy I have a whole rant on reinventing the wheel. 2018-05-28
234 Someone call Sony, I'm making Knack 3. This is the best Knack! 2017-08-16
1043 Someday I'll fix that. I swear. 2019-04-05
691 Someday I'll be done renaming things...I swear! 2018-09-24
847 Somebody own me! I need to get dinner. 2018-10-17
292 Somebody needs to throw Windows off of a really high cliff, into hot lava. 2018-01-15
291 Somebody needs to throw Windows off a cliff. 2018-01-15
506 Somebody has a way exapunkier solution. 2018-08-10
634 Somebody didn't totally go to game design school. 2018-09-15
1184 Some people want to beat their head against a brick wall really hard over and over until they succeed. And some people just want a sooth ride with no challenge and those latter people will never amount to anything in life but that's still what they want, so let them choose that. 2020-03-27
531 Some people think this is just what programming is. Some people do this all day and they're like "yep that's programming." 2018-08-30
710 Solotanz? Do you think this is a dancing game? 2018-09-25
541 Software scales automatically. 2018-08-31
686 So why are we doing all this? We're doing this for the lulz. 2018-09-23
1309 So we're just making a little stack on the stack. I heard you like stacks so I made a stack on your stack so you can stack on your stack while you stack. 2020-09-07
320 So type of some type dot best friend should be guy, and we should be matching that against dummy... 2018-02-04
205 So the problem with making teas: you think about something and then you forget it! 2017-08-07
1124 So that's a little bit sus. 2019-08-04
1405 So somebody left the oven on when they left the apartment and it was someone in polymorph. It was one of these three lines. 2021-04-08
1050 So ass-tastically slow. 2019-04-09
1230 So Lana's still up. She looks kind of tired, so let's raid her. 2020-05-03
780 Sitrep: where's my food? 2018-10-12
643 Sitrep: when is the game gonna start? 2018-09-16
664 Sitrep: we now have 5-factorial subscribers. 2018-09-20
856 Sitrep: we have crashed. 2018-10-17
641 Sitrep: there's dudes everywhere. 2018-09-16
652 Sitrep: no gun. [...] Sitrep: gun. 2018-09-16
650 Sitrep: is that a vehicle? [...] Sitrep: yes. 2018-09-16
705 Sitrep: We have a circle problem. Over. 2018-09-24
647 Sitrep: This was stupid. 2018-09-16
784 Sitrep: Owned. 2018-10-12
732 Sitrep: It's 1:30 AM and I'm tired. 2018-09-30
655 Sitrep: I'm about to be able to not hear anything. 2018-09-16
818 Sitrep: I have preliminarily taken damage. 2018-10-15
644 Sitrep: I have blood all over my face. 2018-09-16
648 Sitrep: I am bad. 2018-09-16
646 Sitrep: Don't fuck with me. 2018-09-16
720 Sisters. Is that like Brothers? 2018-09-30
21 Shut up! shut up! I'm giving a presentation. 2016-07-25
874 Shot by that guy again? That guy's a dick. 2018-10-20
309 Shit, he's here! Banana Man! 2018-01-29
840 She's a strong female character. 2018-10-16
1071 Shawarma? I don't like Marvel movies. 2019-05-05
654 Shadowmap aliasing on my left. 2018-09-16
1296 Semicolon expected after a declaration. That's the worst error message in the universe! 2020-07-19
1211 See, we were good, we're a good person. We were Gallant right there. Gallant comments his things that will not be obvious to people when they look at the code. 2020-04-27
1311 See, to fix your program all you have to do is remove the printf's. It's serious high-end, elite programming. 2020-09-08
1027 See, read the code. Don't just assume. You know what happens when you assume? Then you have to drink some tea. 2019-02-23
1220 See, I just had to turn on part of my brain. It could have taken me two more hours of plodding through this kind of debugging. 2020-05-02
54 See I told you, I was being stupid. 2017-02-02
296 Security is our #374 problem. 2018-01-16
1206 Saying that your programming language is self-hosting and that that's a big deal and that that's worth telling people about, that's like driving an old rusty Hyundai to work, like you bought a used Hyundai, not even a new Hyundai, know what I mean? 2020-04-24
1180 Saying ideas is not worth that much. You have to do the ideas in a way that actually works. 2020-03-25
642 SITREEEP! 2018-09-16
1249 Run far, far away from any web site that says modern C++ and you'll be fine. 2020-05-28
667 Ruby is so slow, even web people don't use it anymore. 2018-09-20
240 Rotate your phone bro! ;) 2017-08-18
1089 Replacement?!? C'mon, you can't replace things! 2019-07-24
1356 Remember when I said that? Sometimes people say things, but then the way they live their life is not concomitant with the values that they express vocally. They say clean your room, but is their room clean? And so forth. I basically did that here. 2020-11-30
185 Remember to like and subscribe. Thanks for the 12-month resub, Joe53! 2017-07-26
849 Really? You're gonna unzip right there? 2018-10-17
1208 Real life is not that good of a game. Real life is a really unfair game that is very slow and tedious. 2020-04-23
1236 Reading other people's websites about entity systems is wrong. 2020-05-04
602 Reading comment: "FIXME FIXME FIXME... Uhh I don't remember what needs to be fixed..." Well if it was that important there's no way it is not already fixed. 2018-09-05
1081 Ray Kurzweil thinks he's going to be immortal, and he's older than me, so who knows? 2019-06-14
740 RNG... okay, game. Good golf game. 2018-09-30
351 Q: "How much would I have to pay for you to program The Witness in Java?" A: Ahh... 9000 Decibels 2018-02-12
791 Put up or shut up. 2018-10-13
448 Psychic debugging, folks. 2018-06-01
985 Productivity per engineer-hour is a measurable number. 2019-01-01
988 Probably very few arguments are actually worth having. So my goal is I'm just gonna keep making stuff, and if my opinions are right, then I should be able to succeed just by making stuff that's better than what's out there. 2019-01-01
367 Premature optimization is the root of all blah blah blah. 2018-05-11
492 Predictably, there is not enough salt on these cashews. Five years from now, when people understand that salt has nothing to do with high blood pressure and heart disease, everyone will be sad for all the bland food they ate for all those years. 2018-07-31
313 Polymorph matching just broke. 2018-02-04
898 Pointers are scary. 2018-10-22
1121 Philosopher's Stone is a better title. It is one syllable longer, though. Maybe the dumb Americans can't handle one extra syllable. 2019-08-02
868 People will hire you if you demonstrate skills that they're impressed by. That's it. 2018-10-18
1056 People who use the word "code smell" have code smell. 2019-04-12
701 People who make games are dumb. 2018-09-24
51 People who made open gl are assholes. 2017-01-29
891 People use really weird coding standards like you can't put more than 100 lines of code in a file, because that's all that fits in their little Java brains. 2018-10-22
1096 People still have plenty of time to do their protobufs before demo day. 2019-07-29
769 People like to be weenies about entity-component system on the Internet. 2018-10-11
867 People in the Elite Gaming Elite Platinum Elite Copper Lounge have a goofy image of me. I don't know why. 2018-10-18
1148 People could be watching the squad! 2019-09-13
1265 People ask me, "How do you succeed in the video game industry?" What do you do to give your game that little bit of extra bit of magic that other games aren't going to have to make people really notice your game and want to play it and tell their friends about it years from now. How do you do this? The answer is, when you add the phase shift, based on position, use croissant-uv instead of just linear-uv. 2020-06-09
1040 People ask me how do you succeed in game development - and the answer is save the file. If you don't save the file, you will not succeed in game development. 2019-03-17
237 People are talking about Netflix in the chat, so obviously what I'm doing is compelling. Nobody in the chat cares about programming, that's fine. 2017-08-16
404 People are like "Oh, just add this feature it'll be fine," but actually, features are complicated! 2018-05-28
1153 People are basically crazy. 2019-10-16
379 Patches welcome! 2018-05-26
704 Parts of our society are more grounded in things that are well-tested, but some parts are very untested. 2018-09-24
273 Parsers aren't hard. 2018-01-06
261 Ow! Stop it, routine chickens! 2017-12-23
640 Ow! Sitrep! 2018-09-16
412 Our gnusto doesn't work. 2018-05-29
1079 Our entire society does not have the capability to produce working software right now. 2019-05-11
694 Our drag is not frame-rate independent, which is pretty poopy. 2018-09-24
39 Ouch, yeah. 2017-01-25
645 Oooh, sitrep. 2018-09-16
398 One's got 2000 dependencies? Bro! Who's that? 2018-05-26
316 One does not simply copy a syntax tree. 2018-02-04
685 One Second Puffs. 2018-09-23
1113 Once you've done damage in the universe, you have to fix it. 2019-07-31
881 Once you start to have some bricks in the wall, more bricks fit into the wall better. 2018-10-20
919 Once you lost your peppermint chocolate, things are dire! 2018-11-18
1119 Once upon a time this was an empty file containing nothing. And I said, "I wish that I could make a programming language as wonderful and amazing as the mighty JavaScript. I wonder if I can do that?" And who knows if we'll succeed, but we've made some progress in that direction. 2019-08-02
677 Once computers have memory, you do things a different way. 2018-09-22
627 On the one hand, awesome. 2018-09-14
147 Okay. When we re-pointering... 2017-07-20
1318 Okay. This is ass. 2020-09-30
1041 Okay, whatever. I vented into the comment. 2019-04-04
821 Okay, they're expecting a collapse now, that's a new development. 2018-10-15
164 Okay, there's not gonna be a car in this swamp. 2017-07-24
257 Okay, that's good. Its wrong the same, both times. 2017-11-28
567 Okay, that is progress. It is not ingress or postgress, it is progress. 2018-09-03
288 Okay, so... Let's do a hack. 2018-01-15
1293 Okay, see. Look. You just keep making random changes to your code. It's eventually correct. That's how you program. Especially if you use the unity game engine. 2020-06-30
1385 Okay, look at all the log prints. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Log Prints. This is why it's going to be a little grindy. 2021-02-11
1419 Okay, kids, definitely steal. 2021-09-27
504 Okay, I know how to really exapunk this. You guys wanna watch me exapunk this? 2018-08-10
1105 Okay, I get the programmer dunce cap because I spent an hour on this 2019-07-30
63 Ok, Going to explain it again.....NOPE, you got to re-watch it. 2017-02-04
562 Oh. This guy actually knows what he's talking about. That's rare! 2018-09-02
1172 Oh, oh. Got little beef jerkies in my keyboard. 2020-01-02
549 Oh, now we have to do all this C++ work to babysit the compiler, because I'm an idiot who writes in C++. 2018-08-31
774 Oh, it's THAT song. Alright. 2018-10-11
777 Oh, Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt... 2018-10-12
589 Oh well. Works fine, ship it. 2018-09-03
107 Oh this is an enum, not a struct. DAUUHHH. 2017-03-25
961 Oh snap! I made a junior varsity error. 2018-12-11
1070 Oh my god, the flat earth people were right all along! 2019-04-29
1279 Oh my god, guys. If you want to succeed the game industry, save your level. Pulitzer prize winning level. Not that the Pulitzer prize is worth anything anymore, but still. 2020-06-23
973 Oh my god, I'm so stupid. We're gonna keep doing it this way, but I'm stupid. 2018-12-23
435 Oh my god, I'm gonna punch somebody who works at Microsoft. I'm gonna punch Bill Gates, AND Steve Ballmer, AND Satya... whatever that guy's name is. ...Satya Nadella. 2018-05-30
94 Oh my god Becky. Look at that scroll. 2017-02-07
946 Oh my GOD! A global variable!! What the hell?!? 2018-12-01
1076 Oh look at all these mangled names. They're so cute. 2019-05-11
230 Oh god... Wow! You know, I'm tempted to just erase this all stream and pretend it never happened and start over tomorrow. 2017-08-16
753 Oh god, it's totally Star Wars. 2018-10-01
219 Oh god!... Alright guys, this is gonna be brutal. 2017-08-11
241 Oh boy! There were earlier changes that I didn't check in. Well... They're checked in now! 2017-08-18
770 Of course, since I'm an actual programmer and not like a Mac user, I turn off all the goofy gestures 2018-10-11
493 Ocean Map, take me by the hap, don't you understap... 2018-07-31
696 Occasional biggies, but mostly small. 2018-09-24
216 OMG... It worked! Oh, the language is gettin' good. 2017-08-11
1084 OMG This view bob is gonna drive me nuts. I think I'm going to be ill from this view bob. [...] OMG That was the worst view bob in the universe. 2019-07-21
622 OK, now we’re going to crash, because success is true, 2018-09-12
1305 Null is not an option here. 2020-08-29
539 Now you have access to the Elite Frequent Flyer Swank Lounge. 2018-08-31
371 Now we watch this die horribly. 2018-05-25
1417 Now we know how to play Myst! 2021-08-28
1434 Now if we were a smart web developer and were using JSON, it would take like 5 seconds to load 167MB JSON so we would notice that we were doing that every frame, but because we are fast game programmers, we don't even f**ing break a sweat loading a 167MB file so we are literally doing that every frame. 2022-05-10
139 Now THAT is a commitable offence. 2017-06-25
314 Now K has a binding, mofo! 2018-02-04
922 Now I'm wishing I'd ended on the "This is the last game" game. 2018-11-18
949 Now I did just say "Man was not meant to drink chai through a straw", but I kind of wonder, what if it was one of those Starbucks cookie straws. Would that then be a drinkable chai situation? I think it might be. 2018-12-02
736 Not too Banksy. ...that was not Banksy enough. 2018-09-30
557 Not programming because Microsoft made us want to quit all of programming for the rest of time and even retroactively back in time. 2018-09-01
811 Not having dumpbin in my path is ass. 2018-10-13
712 Not everyone is an elite veteran ace frequent flyer game developer. 2018-09-25
253 Not a long enough length to do what I'm doing with it. 2017-11-27
1272 Normally I eat a lot of chocolate. I haven't done that lately because I'm traveling, but I might have to have some chocolate for tonight. I think it is good for the mind. 2020-06-17
64 Nobody's put the peanut butter in the chocolate very much. 2017-02-04
23 Nobody at microsoft can program at this point. 2016-08-23
1213 No, I need tea! How are we ever going to get back under fifty thousand [LOC] if I don't have tea? 2020-05-01
1284 No! Infinity is not that high of a number. It's just seven, ef eight zero, zero zero zero zero. There's no Zeno's paradox there. Infinity is eight digits long guys. Eight digits! 2020-06-29
1297 No wonder I'm so slow today. I'm at 30Hz. It's not going to go above 30. This is communist, guys. 2020-07-19
941 No monsters were harmed in the making of this program. 2018-11-24
942 No monsters were harmed in the making of this game. 2018-11-24
1183 No hints! I'm trying to play the game as God intended. 2020-03-27
908 New York pizza is really bad. 2018-11-12
421 Nevermind! My entire rant was misplaced. 2018-05-30
799 Never underestimate how little revenue a small game can make. 2018-10-13
937 Never thought I'd be a barber. 2018-11-24
831 Netcall: This is a sitrep. 2018-10-15
203 NaN creeps me out. 2017-08-05
1441 My will to live is rapidly leaving my body. 2022-11-23
41 My teapot decides to keep the water boiling by default. 2017-01-25
1026 My preferred keyboard is one that does not have a user experience. 2019-02-23
1075 My parents bought me a TRS-80 color computer. Best thing they ever did. 2019-05-11
1182 My meat is culling incorrectly. 2020-03-26
486 My food dude is 2 minutes away. 2018-07-27
1332 My favorite person in the games industry is Reverta Williams. 2020-10-20
534 My eyes are glazing over already. 2018-08-30
1207 Mouse-wheel to switch weapons is a crime against humanity. Don't ever do it if you make a game. 2020-04-25
608 Most programmers are working at a very low percentage of efficiency. 2018-09-05
226 Most people are not self-critical and reality-based. 2017-08-13
651 Most mice are too small for my hands. 2018-09-16
1142 Most lines of code are pollution. 2019-08-19
155 More like Steam Early Poopcess. 2017-07-22
460 More cryptic is less cryptic sometimes. 2018-06-02
853 Mistakes were made. [Gets shot] Mistakes were further made. 2018-10-17
400 Mistakes were made. I'm not saying by whom, I'm just saying mistakes are made. Certain kinds of people say "You know, there isn't really anything objectively right." Maybe I like it if my compiler just crashes. That's just my lived experience. 2018-05-28
76 Middle of the bar goes where we are. 2017-02-06
1429 Microsoft thinks that them updating Windows with things that I don't care about and probably will make my computer work worse and make it slower is more important than me getting work done and delivering value to the people. I think Microsoft is owned by Vladimir Putin at this point. 2022-02-28
149 Microsoft has no respect for anything. 2017-07-20
225 Microsoft has no respect for anything. 2017-08-13
1228 Microservices is one of those trendy things that in five years, people won't be doing anymore. 2020-05-03
284 Metaprogramming is the future and it solves all our problems, because going meta is always better! 2018-01-13
265 Maybe you guys just don't like sausages enough? 2017-12-25
390 Maybe we're seeing the constance block a little too much, and we want to keep the relationship at a distance. 2018-05-26
862 Maybe we should as a company just stop making video games and start making chicken dinner Youtube videos, and maybe that'll be better than making video games. 2018-10-18
863 Maybe this should be Battle Royale Sokoban. I don't know how that would work exactly. 2018-10-18
50 Maybe that just works. That didn't just work. 2017-01-28
945 Maybe people just need to have patience. It's not like they're waiting an hour for a cloud or something. 2018-12-01
43 Maybe it's time to blow this cheap taco stand. 2017-01-25
930 Maybe in Half-Life 3, Gordon Freeman is a firefighter. 2018-11-22
254 Maybe if I run it a lot of times it'll work. 2017-11-28
1238 Maybe he was at a conference and kinda drunk when he said that. 2020-05-05
71 Maybe I'm stupid all this week because I've been streaming so much. 2017-02-05
62 Maybe I'm not killing it seriously enough. 2017-02-03
32 Maybe I spilled water all over the floor. That's definitely possible. 2017-01-22
1022 Maybe I should do something where I just, like, drop a nuke on the chat and ban everybody once in a while. That would be good. 2019-02-06
944 Maximum public approval has never really been my goal. 2018-11-28
852 Mankind must put an end to the war. That's why we're playing war games. 2018-10-17
803 Manipulate that answer to be appropriate to your life situation. 2018-10-13
174 Man, who lives in this purple building? This is Prince's house. 2017-07-25
1123 Man, we made gains today. We drank our protein shake, and we made gains. 2019-08-03
1002 Man, if only I'd never cleaned this up, we wouldn't have introduced new bugs. 2019-01-03
948 Man is not meant to drink chai through a straw. 2018-12-02
690 Making games is a serious problem. 2018-09-23
833 Look, if somebody gave me 1 BILLION dollars to do something, it would not involve turning a real island into The Witness. 2018-10-15
614 Look at the code. Look. Look at the code and see what it does. 2018-09-07
92 Look at that. We're better than emacs. 2017-02-06
577 Look at how many mistakes you can make while programming! That is a tiny fraction of the number of mistakes you can make. ...Mistake #1 is programming in Javascript. 2018-09-03
478 Look at all those diamonds we have! 2018-06-21
968 Literally I'm growing old RIGHT NOW. 2018-12-22
342 Linkers are dogbutt slow. 2018-02-09
200 Life is rough. 2017-08-03
1101 Life is not a bowl of cherries, it is a plate of cherries. 2019-07-29
1189 Life has taught me that the masses have poor taste in many things, and if you just cater to what you think that taste is, you probably won't create things that are very special. 2020-04-09
6 Let's start glancing at it, then I'll show you something cool. 2016-03-17
1012 Let's start by being the change we want to see in the world. 2019-01-06
1243 Let's see if this gets me banned from twitch. 2020-05-09
978 Let's see if my laptop opens correctly... 2018-12-25
1129 Let's order a food. 2019-08-11
438 Let's not give in to the tired and lazy. 2018-05-31
191 Let's nojobs it. 2017-07-27
563 Let's lep at this for a second. 2018-09-02
352 Let's just keep makin dudes, we know how to party here. 2018-02-13
477 Let's go find some diamonds! 2018-06-21
521 Let's get stupid. I just wanna get stupid. 2018-08-29
53 Let's get rid of that, that's more Windows floating around that we don't need. 2017-02-01
959 Let's get into trouble! 2018-12-10
1292 Let's face it, aioli IS mayonnaise, it's just pretending not to be. And it's just not as good as regular mayonnaise. 2020-07-10
26 Let's do something crazy. 2016-08-23
1058 Let me get a food, and then we'll continue programming. 2019-04-13
629 Let me check the Elite Frequent Flyer Secret Illuminati Lounge. 2018-09-14
747 Let me cast my spells! 2018-09-30
783 Lancer, Prancer, and... Neuromancer out. 2018-10-12
369 Lambda is the snooty functional programming name for procedure. 2018-05-25
758 Ladies and gentlemen, the future of videogames. 2018-10-01
1059 LLVM stands for Long Looping Virtual Machine. 2019-04-13
858 King 177 Jaded Mamba, over. 2018-10-17
221 Kinda like JavaScript except, unlike JavaScript, we're not pretending to be a real programming language, so that's ok. 2017-08-12
810 Kill his ass, please! 2018-10-13
1354 Kids, don't use macros. They're dangerous. 2020-11-30
1112 Just make things good before you release them, bro. 2019-07-31
924 Just like CNN, we're gonna call the results of the election before all the votes have been tallied. 2018-11-18
1353 Just learn to talk like a robot, and you too can write compiler error messages. 2020-11-29
172 Just don't get hit and shoot people. 2017-07-25
1104 Joe Rogan gets at least 250 people for each podcast. 2019-07-30
1382 JavaScript pays your bills for now? Yes, but it doesn't pay for the sadness you'll feel in twenty years when you look back and say, "I could have been a contender." 2021-02-07
222 JavaScript is basically the worst thing that's happened to computers. Ever. 2017-08-12
247 Java is designed to be a boring programming language. 2017-10-04
708 It's working fine, it's just that we told it to not work. 2018-09-25
854 It's very easy to backseat game. 2018-10-17
711 It's totally a dancing game! 2018-09-25
151 It's time to just quit game programming and play Knack. 2017-07-21
1233 It's the year two-thousand and twenty. I have a new desktop PC which was delivered to me in the year two-thousand and twenty that cost $3000 at least and I can't edit, in emacs, in real-time a file that's half a megabyte. I'm not talking about pasting half a megabyte. I'm taking about pasting ten characters into the middle of half a megabyte. Dude, I can copy half a megabyte I don't know how many frames per second, [..] but it's a lot of frames per second. This software is so broken! 2020-05-03
1010 It's the year 2020. Everything is flat now, 'cause that's the universe we live in. 2019-01-06
540 It's the worst idea in a long time. 2018-08-31
717 It's the opposite of what I just said. This isn't going on Youtube. 2018-09-29
880 It's the most pixelated game of 2018. 2018-10-20
97 It's the Barack Obama scroll. Yes we can. ...No, if this were a Donald Trump scroll, we wouldn't have all that UTF-8 work we did, so you couldn't print Korean and stuff. We would be able to print Russian, though. 2017-02-07
1373 It's probably very simple, and therefore will take five hours to find. 2021-01-21
752 It's pretending I have choices. 2018-09-30
663 It's okay, since you guys know I've been building my career as a pro gaming streamer. 2018-09-20
897 It's not just zero, it's 0x0000000000000000. Cursor is very close to that, it's 0x0000000000000001. They should compare about equal in if statements and stuff. 2018-10-22
445 It's not in Lua. Our standards have fallen so low. 2018-05-31
952 It's not hard to beat Emacs. 2018-12-04
1426 It's not enough in the games industry to pass the parameter, you also have to use the parameter. 2021-11-25
432 It's not as robust, but it makes me not hate myself. 2018-05-30
1154 It's like this, but it's not like this. 2019-10-20
837 It's like indie game voice acting in here. 2018-10-16
954 It's like famous Hollywood actor Carl Weathers says: "Now you've got a tea going." 2018-12-08
809 It's like climate change, it's never gonna happen. 2018-10-13
473 It's like chewing glass for months. 2018-06-07
376 It's like a freshman web designer intern making a mistake, and they just keep doing it. 2018-05-26
670 It's like a Greg Egan game where the characters inhabit a space that works differently from our 3D notions. 2018-09-21
1175 It's like Twitch wants to be Idiocracy. 2020-02-02
294 It's like I'm using Linux here. 2018-01-15
1394 It's just like any other thing in programming, there's an infinite amount of work that could go into improving it. 2021-02-23
11 It's just a carnival of lose. 2016-05-07
373 It's inferred, bro. 2018-05-26
617 It's in Javascript, that's an instant no. "React Native TDD," that's two instant nos at the same time. 2018-09-07
830 It's hard to be a good technology when you're built on a giant pile of poo, so good luck. 2018-10-15
1436 It's got the Mona Lisa on it, that's how you know it's good. 2022-08-28
955 It's gonna get Team Fortress'd. 2018-12-08
1122 It's going to be HUUUUUUUGE, like the Mexican border wall! 2019-08-02
212 It's gamma'd wrong again. 2017-08-08
625 It's frankly horseshit. 2018-09-14
19 It's easy to have weird notions. 2016-07-25
228 It's beyond redonkadonk. Which is even farther than Beyond Zork. 2017-08-14
127 It's been 25 years since I've used scheme... and that is intentional. 2017-05-25
1091 It's amazing how much of programming is realizing you didn't save the file correctly before you go off on a half hour debugging spree. That saves you so much time! 2019-07-26
213 It's all working, I could swear I'm not joking. 2017-08-08
1009 It's all flat design, because it's the year 2020. 2019-01-06
933 It's absolutely ridiculous. It's the Chronicles of Ridic. 2018-11-22
340 It's a small difference but it's a big difference, see? 2018-02-06
20 It's a problem, first of all, because it just doesn't work in windows. 2016-07-25
167 It's a pretty janky game technically, but sometimes, games succeed despite their problems. 2017-07-24
678 It's a big party in the Animation Feature Festival Townhouse Place. 2018-09-22
767 It's a benchmark program that takes 10 minutes to load system info. 2018-10-04
723 It's VR dancing girls again. 2018-09-30
1192 It's The Talos Laser. 2020-04-12
263 It's Portal. 2017-12-23
564 It's 40% too long! Cancel the compiler! 2018-09-02
31 It works if we don't hit that bug. 2017-01-21
27 It wants strings and it's trying to pass guys. 2016-09-01
532 It took substantial archaeology to write this. We aren't even doing anything yet. 2018-08-30
626 It sounds like they already have too many problems, why are they adding more? But whatever, I'll read the thing. 2018-09-14
218 It says "one return value received", which I disagree with. 2017-08-11
1383 It looks so bad! It's like a web developer that made this font. 2021-02-07
1073 It looks like it's for 14 year olds, and if you're 14, that's fine. 2019-05-07
591 It doesn't matter that he's a great guy, he's writing in Javascript. 2018-09-03
718 Isn't that a crappy game? ...Why do I think that? 2018-09-30
65 Isn't it neat how you can just make things by typing code? 2017-02-05
668 Isn't it great when stuff works the first time? 2018-09-21
211 Is somebody doubting that I do things in a quality way? What kind of people are you? 2017-08-08
600 Is my whole life a lie? 2018-09-05
808 Is it like a revolver? More like a suckvolver. 2018-10-13
841 Is Drax somebody who dabs? 2018-10-16
592 Instantiables are kinda like Lunchables. 2018-09-04
1404 In the year 2021 people expect to be able to make arrays of strings in their programming language. I don't know why. I don't know why they think that, but they do. 2021-03-26
763 In the old days there would be a hardware button and the on button would mean the computer was in an on state. These days nobody wants to make computers that anyone knows how to use. 2018-10-04
552 In the end, everyone is just running around on giant hamster wheels. That is what modern software is like. 2018-08-31
1194 In that way that the universe is complicated and surprising and will mess you up, we can't just do that. 2020-04-12
1411 In real life, I know if I'm doing well or not by whether a space whale swims by. That's how I know. 2021-06-20
1340 In Europe they also don't know what ice tea is, so you can't trust Europeans about food. 2020-11-01
967 If your number is smaller than 100 million, I'm not impressed. 2018-12-20
980 If your code doesn't have some Mega Warnings in it, it's not good. 2018-12-26
1325 If you've ever been volunteered to clean up the kitchen after a long night at the range, go ahead and smash that subscribe button. 2020-10-15
1242 If you're smart, you might never be as bad as JavaScript, but you don't want any java cooties ... you don't want those in your language. 2020-05-09
1248 If you're not ignoring most of C++, you're doing it wrong. 2020-05-28
1130 If you're going to be a bad programmer, be a bad programmer like the kind that never do anything, because then your bad code can never get out and damage things in the world. Be like that kind of bad. 2019-08-11
1442 If you're going to Pomodoro, 150 minutes is a pretty good interval period. I don't know what people recommend usually. I think it's a couple minutes less than a hundred and fifty. 2022-11-30
1234 If you're a JavaScript programmer who works at Facebook you're going to be fired in ten years, so it doesn't matter. 2020-05-03
180 If you win, you get a copy of my painter game prototype. 2017-07-26
1438 If you were Mickey Rooney, how would you debug this program? 2022-10-13
596 If you want to succeed, do not compile the debug build and run the release build. They don't teach you that in school. 2018-09-04
1278 If you want to succeed the game industry don't leave the teapot spout whistler thing open or else it won't whistle. 2020-06-22
1334 If you want to succeed in the games industry, you have to be ready to snack. 2020-10-24
1410 If you want to succeed in the games industry, sometimes you have to drive to the office at midnight. 2021-06-02
1427 If you want to succeed in the games industry, push the whopper button. 2022-01-15
1402 If you want to succeed in the games industry, pass the parameter. 2021-03-16
1409 If you want to succeed in the games industry, multiply by x. 2021-05-31
1439 If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't work for Adobe. 2022-10-13
1355 If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't typo the thing that you're searching for. 2020-11-30
1330 If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't files=1. 2020-10-18
1406 If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not put return instead of continue. 2021-04-25
1413 If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not leave your very important results in a local variable. 2021-07-14
1244 If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not forget the body arrow. 2020-05-10
1364 If you want to succeed in the games industry use the flag word that you meant to use, not the other one. 2020-12-15
1342 If you want to succeed in the game industry..... ahhhh 2020-11-15
1304 If you want to succeed in the game industry, you need to do more than comment. You need to actually write. 2020-08-19
1263 If you want to succeed in the game industry, you have to remove the "times five hundred". 2020-06-08
1275 If you want to succeed in the game industry, you have to make it so that you actually have to blow up the block to get to the exit. 2020-06-20
1277 If you want to succeed in the game industry, write the code. All of it. All of it, not just part of it. 2020-06-22
1252 If you want to succeed in the game industry, use both the i and j coordinates, don't just use the j coordinate, 'cause then your river won't flow in the right places. 2020-05-30
1315 If you want to succeed in the game industry, return an integer. 2020-09-24
1331 If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the code that's supposed to be outside the loop, outside the loop. Do you understand? 2020-10-19
1239 If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the binary [in the distribution]. 2020-05-05
1273 If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the 'u' in 'guy'. Put the 'U' in 'GUY! 2020-06-18
1359 If you want to succeed in the game industry, program better than I do. Alright? That's all I have to say. 2020-12-01
1363 If you want to succeed in the game industry, name your flags the right thing. 2020-12-06
1289 If you want to succeed in the game industry, make your arguments arguments, and not return values. 2020-06-27
1345 If you want to succeed in the game industry, know someone who has 3 million dollars. 2020-11-27
1196 If you want to succeed in the game industry, just succeed in the game industry. 2020-04-15
1346 If you want to succeed in the game industry, just know someone that has three million dollars and walks up to you and says "Here, have three million dollars." And you go "Okay, thank you." .. Actually no, that's not really, .. cause most people would proceed to completely lose the three million dollars. That's not how it actually works. 2020-11-27
1397 If you want to succeed in the game industry, it is not enough to merely create an init function...you gotta call it. 2021-02-25
1421 If you want to succeed in the game industry, implement and increment the loop variable. Do both of those things. 2021-10-09
1343 If you want to succeed in the game industry, fail. 2020-11-15
1256 If you want to succeed in the game industry, edit the input file not the output file. 2020-06-03
1268 If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't ship a game where the players see purple 'X's. 2020-06-11
1216 If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't put the next instruction in the middle of the current instruction. 2020-04-30
1424 If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't program in the wrong language. 2021-11-03
1314 If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't be a zero. 2020-09-24
1377 If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't be a lose. 2021-01-26
1321 If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not rip-a-rooni. 2020-10-01
1324 If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. 2020-10-14
1369 If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not mess up the rotates. It will not result in success. 2021-01-15
1215 If you want to succeed in the game industry, compile your compiler before you compile your thing with your compiler. 2020-05-01
1212 If you want to succeed in the game industry, capitalize the letter 'K'. 2020-04-28
1301 If you want to succeed in the game industry, call update(). 2020-08-05
1366 If you want to succeed in the game industry, after you do the pop-count you should store the result in the target register, otherwise it will not be correct. 2020-12-17
1374 If you want to succeed in the gains industry, you gotta git gud. 2021-01-21
168 If you want to go from a typical programmer to a good programmer, the most important thing to learn is weighing costs vs benefits. 2017-07-24
1294 If you want to be a good programmer, use the speed parameter. And I don't mean snort speed... 2020-07-15
726 If you want one atom of pizza each, I think that can be arranged. 2018-09-30
1386 If you wanna succeed in the game industry, don't drop your 'optional' on the floor. 2021-02-11
1270 If you wanna succeed in the game industry, call update_hefts(). Don't just call update_nudges(). That's not good enough. 2020-06-14
129 If you use goto, you sign the warranty that you know what you're doing. 2017-05-25
1161 If you think that sounds reasonable, you already have Stockholm syndrome. 2019-12-02
1214 If you start doing modern template meta-programming to do the equivalent of this, you're going to have a un-understandable disaster very quickly. 2020-05-01
1143 If you really wanna weight lift, you should eat a lot of pizzas. 2019-08-20
29 If you program like this... go work at Microsoft or something. 2016-09-01
845 If you mess with people in this game, you better kill 'em. 2018-10-17
279 If you look on Wikipedia at the graph somebody made of all the Linux forks over time, you just look at that and say, "What a giant waste of effort." 2018-01-10
1338 If you know the z-whatevering algorithm, you've pretty much mastered video games. 2020-10-30
1250 If you just keep doing nuggets, you will succeed in the game industry, almost guaranteed. Just nuggets. You just keep nuggeting. 2020-05-28
883 If you have no reason to use Euler angles, then don't. 2018-10-22
45 If you guys don't know what "Hello, Sailor" is then you need to learn some video game history. 2017-01-27
1335 If you guys are not willing to read this much, this programming language is not for you. 2020-10-28
990 If you can win at Zachtronics games, you know what efficient parallelism is like. 2019-01-01
1132 If you build your entire game around Unity, or in Unity, then you aren't making progress towards making your own game engine. 2019-08-12
1109 If we all had a little bit less Microsoft software in our lives, and a little more pizza, everybody would be happier. 2019-07-31
38 If this were my game, you'd see this by looking out of the... Ah! 2017-01-22
130 If these robots were real animals, there'd be NO way I'd be sneaking around them. Fortunately, these robots run Linux. 2017-05-25
1271 If there's one thing that there's not enough of on the internet and that we need more of it's memes. There just aren't enough memes. 2020-06-16
977 If there is no constructor then clearly... etc.! 2018-12-25
544 If the mouse fails, then we have to cancel the project. 2018-08-31
1095 If the Romans made the fricken internet, it wouldn't go down like this all the time! 2019-07-23
102 If that doesn't make sense, then, well, learn some linear algebra cause it's cool. 2017-03-25
623 If someone gave me a C++ test, I probably wouldn't do very well. 2018-09-14
1107 If only this program had been written in Rust and used goroutines, this wouldn't have happened. 2019-07-30
1055 If it's the Hacker News trend of the week, I don't know what it is. 2019-04-12
1352 If it doesn't solve a real problem, you don't want to do it. 2020-11-29
1049 If it doesn't have an underscore, you're not doing data oriented design. 2019-04-06
846 If it comes down to going on a scavenger hunt or chicken dinnering, I'm gonna chicken dinner. 2018-10-17
307 If he shot through the wall, that's kind of offensive, honestly. 2018-01-29
495 If anyone in chat works for Microsoft, just quit. Stop watching, you're not allowed to watch the stream. Log off now. Just don't watch Twitch at all, go watch Mixer. 2018-07-31
687 If anybody does not agree with this union please speak out now. 2018-09-23
965 If You Don't Atan2, This Industry Does Not Need You. 2018-12-12
1117 If I'm this dumb, and I can still make compilers, anybody can. 2019-08-01
1396 If I were writing games, I would definitely write them in INTERCAL and not C++. 2021-02-24
1023 If I hadn't played video games until 3 in the morning, I probably would have done that right the first time. 2019-02-06
904 If I had found a weapon that was on the blockchain that time, I think I really would have owned that guy. 2018-10-22
442 If I don't do this right, programs crash. 2018-05-31
1371 If I decide to make ill-advised purchases later, I'll get three of those. 2021-01-19
1269 If I can't make games anymore because I'm going senile, we had a good run. 2020-06-12
209 If I can continually become a better programmer, then getting fat is a small price to pay. 2017-08-07
335 If I allowed myself to be angry I would be so angry right now. 2018-02-05
440 I've vacillated on this several times, and we're gonna make it 32-bit. 2018-05-31
1057 I've never seen Agile end in the mass murder of millions of people, but maybe that is yet to happen. 2019-04-13
1031 I've made that bug before. 2019-02-25
116 I've given up trying to understand OpenGL. 2017-03-26
375 I've been using Visual Studio since 1996. 22 years. It's pretty sad. 2018-05-26
1191 I've been running out of my favorite flavors of quarantea. 2020-04-12
616 I've basically set the bozo bit on Vulkan. 2018-09-07
1120 I've always wanted to level up on a streaming channel. 2019-08-02
556 I'm vaguely remembering that there's a thing called wcstrlen(). It's like W. C. Fields. 2018-09-01
1020 I'm using my brilliant that would have won the Peloponnesian War! 2019-02-04
301 I'm trying to learn the controls and you cutscene'd my ass. 2018-01-27
659 I'm trying to do work here, Microsoft. 2018-09-20
1420 I'm too high for this pegging. 2021-10-01
525 I'm sure you know how to add. That's practical math! 2018-08-30
722 I'm sure we're reaching the bottom of the barrel but there are many pages after this. 2018-09-30
698 I'm sure glad my GPU can fill pixels. 2018-09-24
1283 I'm sure glad I waited a month to fix that! 2020-06-28
255 I'm super confused. I haven't had my tea yet. 2017-11-28
503 I'm still not exapunking. 2018-08-10
444 I'm sorry, if you're working in Unity, you're not doing the Dark Souls of programming. You're doing, like, the I Wanna Be The Guy of programming, but the Dark Souls of programming is something different. 2018-05-31
1312 I'm sorry, but I'm too busy working on a compiler to invent Wonka Vision. 2020-09-23
1062 I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that. Args out of range. 2019-04-16
673 I'm so fed up with computers at this point. 2018-09-21
266 I'm smoking crack. 2017-12-25
1205 I'm smoking crack. 2020-04-20
190 I'm really sorry for anyone who came along and wanted a coherent stream. 2017-07-27
523 I'm pretty sure that Zig code was stack-overflow in origin. 2018-08-30
1362 I'm planting the succeeds of my success in the game industry. If you want to succeed in the game industry, YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE FILE!! You have to save the file. That is pretty much a hundred percent guaranteed prerequisite. 2020-12-06
733 I'm out of shape. Out of Beat Saber shape. 2018-09-30
1077 I'm offended by how crappy that was. 2019-05-11
447 I'm now calling this the Christmas Programming Language. 2018-06-01
716 I'm not trying to be Unity here because Unity is slow like a butt. 2018-09-29
893 I'm not that prepared for loose-leaf prep EXCEPT for my extravagant tea setup. 2018-10-22
901 I'm not that much of a school guy. 2018-10-22
574 I'm not sure why this works, actually. I mean I know why it works, but I don't know why it didn't work before. 2018-09-03
612 I'm not sure that trying to give people positive reinforcement about programming is the right thing. Really the right thing is having grit to figure out why what you're doing is wrong, and stupid, and how you can be better and smarter about it. That's the thing that young people need to learn about programming. All these public initiatives are being pushed by people who don't know anything about programming themselves. 2018-09-07
572 I'm not sure I like this, what I'm typing. 2018-09-03
1078 I'm not in any secret societies that I know of. If I'm in one, it's so secret that I'm not knowing that I'm in it. That would be pretty cool, right: You start a society that's so secret you induct people against their knowledge. 2019-05-11
33 I'm not gonna debate anybody about these topics. 2017-01-22
517 I'm not going to let Linux drag this language down to mediocrity. 2018-08-27
1094 I'm not going to beg people to use the language. I'm going to make it the best thing to use for many applications, and then smart people will use it. The end. 2019-07-26
766 I'm not a professional benchmarker. 2018-10-04
911 I'm not a hide-in-the-bathroom player. 2018-11-12
1156 I'm not a fan of cancel culture, but undefined behavior culture needs to get cancelled by cancel culture. 2019-11-17
73 I'm much happier programming in this language. 2017-02-05
359 I'm like 3 problems deep at this point. But you know what, it's okay. I'm learning. 2018-04-01
1053 I'm just gonna cancel everything and stop programming. 2019-04-11
14 I'm in Dear Esther all of a sudden. 2016-05-14
215 I'm havin' a good time programming reasonably clean things, and I just don't wanna descend into that horrible place. 2017-08-10
246 I'm gonna write this down then I'll think about what to think about them 2017-10-01
347 I'm gonna write pens on my todo list... "Pens that feel better when you cross things out." 2018-02-10
201 I'm gonna tell whoever's working on Sokoban to fix that. 2017-08-04
679 I'm gonna need some tea to attack the particle problem. 2018-09-22
987 I'm gonna go into 2019 in a good mood. 2019-01-01
787 I'm gonna get kicked out of videogames soon if I don't pick it up. 2018-10-13
196 I'm gonna dead. I'm dead. 2017-07-30
907 I'm gonna bang this guy when I come in. 2018-10-24
383 I'm going to take the drinks I bought out of the freezer before they turn into exploding ice blocks. 2018-05-26
16 I'm going to make a farming game called "farming sucks" 2016-05-16
842 I'm going to Dabtown. 2018-10-16
258 I'm going insane. I'm as insane as a Linux person deploying a containerized application. 2017-11-29
658 I'm glad you guys are so interested in programming that you're talking about race relations and Israel. 2018-09-20
429 I'm getting flashbacks to college when I would spend entire 8 hour sessions late at night dealing with %PATH% problems. 2018-05-30
597 I'm gettin hungry, and we're not gonna be done streaming anytime soon. So we're going to have to pop out some UberEATS before all the stores close and we're stuck in post-apocalyptic situations, like... foodless terror. 2018-09-04
797 I'm finally learning how to not be the worst player in the universe. 2018-10-13
1227 I'm dying of old age while we're waiting for a breakpoint to hit. 2020-05-03
333 I'm doing forensic science to figure out how to create a fucking process. 2018-02-05
305 I'm checking poopy butthole 2018-01-28
582 I'm annoyed that I have so much work to do and people are saying "why don't you do a bunch more work sooner than you did it?" 2018-09-03
822 I'm a stupid stupid. 2018-10-15
1165 I'm a computer scientist gamer for life and I can't buy a music pack from Steam. 2019-12-07
631 I'm Rambo. 2018-09-15
958 I'm Batman. 2018-12-09
184 I'll take 9 mil. I could make a substantial game with 9 mil. 2017-07-26
1201 I'll get really annoyed and fire everybody and shut down the company and cancel all the games. 2020-04-18
3 I'll crop it out in OBS. 2016-03-17
1064 I'll check it out. Except they reviewed it on Polygon, so maybe I shouldn't play it. 2019-04-17
1193 I"ve never seen an indie game with colored beams. [/sarc] 2020-04-12
1241 I would almost rather be programming in buttlang than C++ right now. 2020-05-09
1128 I wonder if I'm getting sick. I don't want to give any of you guys my germs over the internet. 2019-08-11
869 I wonder if Amazon sells one-page books? 2018-10-18
1188 I wish I had some parameters I could tweak that were the make-it-look-good parameters. 2020-04-05
875 I wish I could trot slightly faster. 2018-10-20
362 I wish I could enhance Windows, really. 2018-04-01
259 I wasn't in the mood for a bug this hard today. 2017-12-03
1306 I was wondering why chat was reasonably pleasant. 2020-08-29
311 I want to get practice at winning. 2018-01-31
524 I want to call a function called TellMeWhereTheGoddamnLibrariesAreYouIdiot() and it just tells me. 2018-08-30
693 I want my money back. What a crappy programming language. It doesn't know smaple. 2018-09-24
692 I want my money back for a crappy programming language that doesn't know Smapple. 2018-09-24
365 I want all backends to get this benefit. 2018-05-11
707 I wanna make some little graphy-poos for those. 2018-09-25
801 I usually think college students don't know anything about game design. 2018-10-13
489 I used to program in INTERCAL, back before these weak-ass languages that they have today. 2018-07-29
1357 I turn 20 next year and I have an excellent memory. ... I totally lost my train of thought of why I was saying that. but I was saying it for a reason. 2020-11-30
399 I tried to sign up for Twitch affiliate but the webpage kept rejecting me because of a bug. 2018-05-28
1398 I tried to go to the GL Pixel store and buy the right pixels. 2021-02-25
304 I totally potatoed on that guy. 2018-01-28
826 I thought that'd be the last collapse, but apparently instabilities were detected, and that causes collapse to occur. 2018-10-15
1000 I think you're scraping the bottom of the barrel to get quotes just to get to a thousand. 2019-01-01
1093 I think we need to burn the web down and start over. 2019-07-26
1149 I think the next feature is we hang out in chat for a little bit. 2019-10-02
1282 I think that if your IQ is less than 7, you will have a hard time finishing the game. I think that is a true statement. An IQ of more than 7 is not a guarantee of finishing the game, because as we know, standardized tests do not exactly correlate with real world performance, so... 2020-06-28
607 I think it's breakfast time, which is kind of like Miller Time for the morning. 2018-09-05
467 I think a little bit of syntactic highlighting is useful, but the fruit salad that most editors put up is not useful. 2018-06-06
1319 I think I drink more tea than any other being in the universe. 2020-09-30
122 I tend to want the game to start when I start playing the game. 2017-05-15
357 I tend not to watch stuff about me because it's weird. 2018-04-01
1387 I started doing it at 4 in the morning, so you know it's high quality work. 2021-02-15
336 I should've done better. 2018-02-05
579 I should rename it the All-Inclusive Diversity Lounge. 2018-09-03
502 I should read the instructions. 2018-08-10
78 I should put this here. Because I'm stupid. 2017-02-06
812 I should have 'naded! 2018-10-15
1209 I see how you could disagree. You'd be wrong, but I see how you could disagree. 2020-04-26
406 I read Hacker News sometimes when I'm depressed and unmotivated and then I read a bunch of dumb things and regret going on Hacker News. 2018-05-28
794 I potato'd, he potato'd. I won the War of the Potatoes. 2018-10-13
244 I potato'd on him! 2017-09-25
771 I paid $4000 for this thing. It shouldn't be a piece of shit. 2018-10-11
559 I only have to get 300 times as many viewers, and I'll be a famous streamer. 2018-09-02
1260 I need to set the bozo bit on myself because my gradient doesn't work. 2020-06-07
36 I need to not use concave symmetric pot. 2017-01-22
267 I need to earn some blocks by watching ads. 2017-12-25
52 I need more snack surface area. 2017-02-01
1021 I need gems more than they need a working spaceship. 2019-02-04
1240 I need brain chai. 2020-05-07
1032 I need angry fruit salad. Can't program without angry fruit salad!! 2019-02-27
1083 I need a separate streaming PC. Windows is so bad, that you can't actually run multiple programs on the same computer. 2019-07-21
121 I need a better anti-dude thing. 2017-05-15
264 I missed the wall 2017-12-25
543 I might want to go and #define DO_NOT_COMPILE_THIS_RIGHT_NOW_PLEASE in my list of defines. I can't do that if we're #if 0. 2018-08-31
999 I might have to stop and be contemplative... while I'm debugging. 2019-01-01
1146 I mean, who doesn't want a game where you slalom flowers? 2019-09-02
1395 I mean, there's nothing wrong with a job at Applebees, that's real work. But if you wanted to be programming, it's not ideal. 2021-02-24
1308 I mean Visual Studio is bad, but VSCode is like playschool Visual Studio. Like, I don't... I don't even... 2020-08-29
1299 I mean I kind of 10% of the way want to make a Pepsiman sequel now. 2020-07-01
321 I literally don't know how this is possible. 2018-02-04
154 I liked The Witness. That was pretty good. 2017-07-22
137 I like when a game doesn't put HUD crapplets. 2017-06-06
66 I learned Mips assembly in college. That's some good stuff. Sort of. 2017-02-05
111 I know! I know! I know! 2017-03-26
757 I know you're supposed to use the wrist straps, but I'm not gonna use the wrist straps. I mean, come on. 2018-10-01
1036 I know how to program! I went to two week coding boot camp! 2019-02-28
1298 I kind of feel like the year 2021 is the year for a Pepsiman remake. 2020-07-01
1176 I just wanted to do work today, and this is how computers reward me for that. 2020-03-19
931 I just wanted a little more... you know, nade-age. 2018-11-22
1323 I just want to compile a program. This is the simplest thing in programming. If you can't compile a program, you can't do programming. 2020-10-04
730 I just wanna play a game. 2018-09-30
405 I just turned the rant meter up to 10, and I'll burn out the rant batteries if I start talking about the Web. 2018-05-28
1108 I just think I've been programming too much lately, because my brain literally was not even on for the past hour. 2019-07-30
204 I just spilled tea on myself, which means it's time to end. 2017-08-05
113 I just shouldn't have streamed today, because I'm too stupid today, period. 2017-03-26
93 I just see a bunch of crap here. 2017-02-06
109 I just have no idea. I'm ready to just give up and throw all my computers out the window. 2017-03-25
278 I just had to set the bozo bit on a couple of people and stop replying to them. 2018-01-10
921 I just don't play games for 12 year olds, so I'm not used to it. 2018-11-18
739 I hope my streaming audience is entertained. 2018-09-30
1167 I heard that Apple is doing okay, financially. I'm not sure if that's true. 2019-12-09
1018 I heard C++ is a character in the next Mortal Kombat game, so have fun with that. 2019-01-27
268 I have very finely honed coconut detection 2017-12-25
353 I have this Notch here, so that's handy. 2018-02-13
59 I have some things to say to Mr. OpenGL, and they're not happy nice things. 2017-02-02
1127 I have no respect for linkers. 2019-08-05
471 I have no problem spending months of work on something then taking it out later... In my opinion that's part of how you make things good. 2018-06-06
446 I have a $4000 computer, faster than any other computer in history, and we can't display text of all colors. 2018-06-01
1225 I hate to say it, we're going to have to delete our deletions, and start over. 2020-05-02
1135 I had a plan. And a canal. Panama! 2019-08-12
537 I guess indie game developers can't program anymore so you never see them programming. 2018-08-30
269 I guess I should get a lot better at dodging rocks. 2017-12-26
832 I gotta go to the bathroom and commence a drop operation. 2018-10-15
1162 I give them an 8 out of 10 at trying to be Apple, packaging-wise. 2019-12-03
878 I get more grumpy as I get tired, too. 2018-10-20
249 I felt the micro-aggression involved in the statement 2017-10-15
1115 I feel like we're just kicking the can up the stack. 2019-07-31
820 I feel like they could have splurged on more than one X texture. 2018-10-15
1190 I feel like I'm losing 50 IQ points per text. 2020-04-12
962 I feel like I'm being Jebaited here. 2018-12-12
100 I feel kind of slow and stupid today. 2017-03-25
760 I failed because I didn't winch up the winch in giant spider land. 2018-10-01
1320 I drink tea out of Winnie the Pooh mugs, which is not even legal in large parts of Asia. 2020-10-01
754 I don't want to do my taxes, I want to play a game. 2018-10-01
555 I don't want to do any of this, but we're morally obligated to do this. 2018-09-01
468 I don't want to break what isn't broken. 2018-06-06
293 I don't think I like Time Spy, honestly. 2018-01-15
1390 I don't see anyone solving hard problems with a package manager. I see them pooping out Stack Overflow code. Show me the hard problems! 2021-02-15
232 I don't see any questions in the chat. I guess that's because my amazing, error-free, daffed programming skills have been too quick for everybody so far, that's ok. *laughs* 2017-08-16
422 I don't really drink beer...maybe sometimes I should, it might help me deal with this sort of thing 2018-05-30
795 I don't play these noob games. 2018-10-13
512 I don't need to play that. 2018-08-25
653 I don't need a big house, I don't have a big family and I don't throw huge parties. 2018-09-16
719 I don't like broken physics games. 2018-09-30
69 I don't like anything about what Microsoft are doing these days. 2017-02-05
834 I don't like answering questions about what my games are about, because the game tells you what it's about. The game is what it's about. 2018-10-15
514 I don't know. These are the hard problems in programming. 2018-08-27
1147 I don't know. I think i quit video games and go into financial management now. 2019-09-02
1136 I don't know. $20 million isn't enough. That's only $4 million a year. I mean that's find when you're a youngster 2019-08-14
475 I don't know why. I sorta know why. 2018-06-19
1090 I don't know why you don't think our game works, because clearly 60% of the time it works all the time. 2019-07-26
674 I don't know why people keep insisting that brunch and breakalunch are the same thing. They're not the same thing. 2018-09-21
1166 I don't know which Visual Studio this is. 2019-12-09
721 I don't know what's going on with computers. 2018-09-30
773 I don't know what this is. "Sandstorm." It's got 133 million views. 2018-10-11
165 I don't know what left is. 2017-07-24
872 I don't know what it is about drinking a drink online, but that happens unusually much. 2018-10-18
386 I don't know what false means, but it means something. 2018-05-26
825 I don't know if you guys know this, but they're expecting a further collapse. 2018-10-15
474 I don't know if the pickle armor is better than non-pickle 2018-06-09
637 I don't know if it's faking it well or is actually good. 2018-09-15
935 I don't know how people who use Photoshop don't commit suicide in droves. It's a PERFECTLY FINE program for 1992. 2018-11-24
214 I don't know how much to care about that right now. 2017-08-09
1246 I don't know how much happiness is worth. Isn't that the story of life? 2020-05-12
1262 I don't know guys. I'm ready to give up on game development right now. It was a good run. 2020-06-08
5 I don't hear any beep boop... 2016-03-17
108 I don't hate it. 2017-03-25
1202 I don't feel that our problem with computers right now is that our mobile bandwidth is not high enough. 2020-04-18
971 I don't do Modern C++. I do Medieval C++. 2018-12-23
276 I don't consider myself indie. I consider myself a videogame art person. 2018-01-07
464 I do not accept Venezuelan chavismos. 2018-06-03
905 I do have to think more like a gamer, it's true. I've gotta game harder. [starts opening wingsuit] Look, I'm gaming right now! 2018-10-22
1198 I didn't pay thousands of dollars for this program to do your janitorial work for you. 2020-04-18
734 I care about the stream quality. 2018-09-30
1030 I can't watch super hero movies any more. If I'm ever going to still be a good programmer, especially in my older ages, I need to preserve my brain cells, you know what I'm saying? ... I can't keep killing them with super hero movies. 2019-02-25
1286 I can't wait until this is done and I can start working on an operating system! 2020-06-26
1210 I can't say "UB" except in sarcasm quotes, I'm sorry. 2020-04-27
660 I can't even do Windows anymore. 2018-09-20
796 I can't count. I can only computer program. 2018-10-13
361 I can't believe we're in 2018 and I'm still spilling tea on my shirt. 2018-04-01
1280 I can't believe people in chat are having a discussion about how long lines of code should be, maximum. What better way is there to prevent yourself from programming something useful and good that would help the world? 2020-06-28
744 I can't alt-F4 the game. 2018-09-30
925 I can happily announce that plans for today's 0-bagger have been cancelled. 2018-11-19
290 I can do this with a superhack. 2018-01-15
1418 I can at least retire knowing that I had Marvin in my video game. 2021-09-07
1219 I can already feel today I'm at like about a 50% brainpower day. Which is not that bad. Like you can get a lot done on a 50% brainpower day, but I can already tell this is taking me longer to figure out than it should. 2020-05-02
248 I can almost guarantee that there's going to be more problems, but it's lunch time, so... 2017-10-04
389 I bet there's a woman in England somewhere named Constance Block [...] she's the patron saint of this program. 2018-05-26
529 I bet Ignacio defined BSTR... Nope. No frickin' BSTR. Is that like something for The Beastmaster? 2018-08-30
8 I avoid them, like I avoid all STDs in real life. 2016-05-07
1141 I apologize, but it's the Web. 2019-08-17
715 I am starting a stream. 2018-09-29
1125 I am not a...person. 2019-08-04
661 I am fired. 2018-09-20
819 I am engaging in the "Unthinking Act of Murder." Thanks, game. 2018-10-15
157 I am an influencer of poopdogs. Poopfluencer. It's like Neuromancer. 2017-07-22
25 I always have a Casey Muratori in my head somewhere. 2016-08-23
150 I already don't necessarily like this. 2017-07-21
804 I actually had the presence of mind to SLIDE, how'd you like them apples? 2018-10-13
547 How many people should get fired from that alone? 2018-08-31
793 How many hit points is "vague blood splat at the side of the screen"? 2018-10-13
827 How many collapses do you guys think there's gonna be? It's just such an unknown mystery. 2018-10-15
656 How is three plus two eight? 2018-09-16
414 How is them apples? Them apples, in my opinion, is better than the NHL finals. 2018-05-29
479 How high do I have to be in order to go around that damn obstacle? 2018-06-21
1116 How frickin' crazy is that? It's better than a real language. A real language wouldn't be this good. 2019-07-24
189 How does anything work? 2017-07-27
193 How do you go to a place like this and not have awesome caves? 2017-07-28
1160 How do I only have hovering rock syndrome when time goes slow? 2019-12-02
135 How do I jump out? That's communist. 2017-06-03
96 How do I have 94 quotes already? We were at like 40 last week. 2017-02-07
729 How do I end? 2018-09-30
568 How did this ever work? 2018-09-03
621 How did this ever work? 2018-09-12
1046 How did they manage to make even the scrollbar hard to use? 2019-04-06
415 How complete is the langauge on a scale of 0 to 100%? -463 + 115i + 3.1j + 2e17k. 2018-05-29
859 How come the circle is outside the combat zone? That's a Jaded Mamba situation. 2018-10-17
746 How come I can't walk there? Because there's a 1-inch high cube? ...Unreal Engine. 2018-09-30
1380 How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? 2021-02-06
358 How are there 357 quotes? That's too many. 2018-04-01
1310 How about if I go back to programming, like it says in the stream title. Wouldn't that be a good thing? For everybody. 2020-09-07
84 Hot dogs are pretty important but they're not as important as putting text into the copy buffer. 2017-02-06
789 Hopefully he's fixated on the package. 2018-10-13
30 Hope is amazing when you can have it. 2016-11-21
1287 Honestly I have way too much to do but I might, just as a learning experience, poke around and make try to make something boot in a VM sometime just to do it. Like, that would be fun. I really shouldn't do that. I have so many things to do. But like, oh my God, I'm so tired of everything. 2020-06-26
170 Hey, thanks for the resub, buddy412! 2017-07-25
231 Hey! Ok, we're back to the Land of Sanity. 2017-08-16
513 Hey look, they have portals that look like the portals from Portal. 2018-08-25
287 Hey look, I can't see anything! That's great! 2018-01-15
1367 Hey kids, if you wanna succeed in the game industry, don't divide by zero sixteen times at the start of every function. That's just a pro tip for you. I mean you might feel the need to be thorough to divide by zero of all kinds of different sizes just to make sure that you get all the zeros. 2021-01-14
169 Hey Hummus, did you win Stephen's Sausage Roll yet? Or are you a loser? 2017-07-24
131 Here we got the big SAILOR. 2017-05-27
709 Here is the sauce. 2018-09-25
1288 Hear me out here, my idea for an operating system is that it should be obvious and clear which window has the focus and will respond to your keyboard input, okay? I know this is a revolutionary idea, but I think it's time has come. 2020-06-26
604 He's got the shakes. 2018-09-05
318 He's behind the barrier with all the bullet holes in it. 2018-02-04
806 He was a gamer. 2018-10-13
1341 He should make it $300/hour. Then everybody will be rich. Why are politicians so stupid? Just make the minimum wage $300 an hour. Every single American will just make tons of money. Everyone will be happy. It's so easy to solve these problems. 2020-11-07
633 He set up defensively and then as soon as I attacked him, he ran away. What kind of chicken man is that? 2018-09-15
402 Have you ever heard of programming? It's this thing where sometimes you say while (1). 2018-05-28
124 Guys, if this is your game, it has to be better than this. 2017-05-17
1072 Green threads is the entity component system of 2016. 2019-05-06
286 Graphics programming is just a giant disaster. It's so terrible. I'm sorry. 2018-01-15
1393 Grapefruit is gross. I don't understand why anyone would ever eat a grapefruit. It doesn't make any sense to me. 2021-02-23
1103 Good news everybody. We are now indexing a nil value, which is how you know we've really been doing some work. 2019-07-30
906 God, this thing steers like a cow. Like a drunken cow! 2018-10-23
745 God, there's so many crystals! 2018-09-30
866 Go people are so ridiculous for not putting assert. 2018-10-18
805 Go go gadget vehicle. 2018-10-13
395 Go go gadget thinger. 2018-05-26
368 Go down the tube? I tried to go down the tube. I doesn't go anywhere! 2018-05-19
236 Given the state of videogame journalism these days, I wouldn't be surprised if some announcement actually happens that I'm working on Knack 3. I don't wanna cause trouble. *laughs* 2017-08-16
420 Given that it's 35 megabytes, it better have a linker in there somewhere. 2018-05-30
1011 Ghostbusters is not a good movie. I hate to say it. I hate to say it! 2019-01-06
436 Ghchildstrinrd... Ghchildstrinwr... 2018-05-30
210 Gggnaaah! I don't care it's a TV show 2017-08-08
554 Generally, the people who make snippy remarks to me on Twitter do not have the level of social bravery to say those things to me in real life. 2018-08-31
456 Game of Throwbacks. 2018-06-02
1302 Game development consists 100% of problems in the most generic sense. 2020-08-07
126 Gah, the interface! [shoots in-game computer screen with shotgun] 2017-05-18
731 Gabe!!! 2018-09-30
463 GAAHH, Visual Studio just jumped on my butt. 2018-06-03
1001 Fullstack means web, and web means bad. 2019-01-01
1051 Full-time streamer. I'm gonna play Apex Legends and Dota 2 Autochess. I'm gonna dye my hair blue and have a bunch of 12-year-olds as my audience. 2019-04-09
89 Frog Fractions 2 should have had Fez 2 in it. That would have been quality. 2017-02-06
1038 Fricking orcs. Orcs are bad. 2019-03-02
587 Frickin' frackin' release the kraken. 2018-09-03
1158 Freedom isn't free, it costs a buck-o-nine, as you know. 2019-11-29
1414 Fourteen lines of code. That is 1.4 industry standard work days that we just wrote and then deleted. GGs! 2021-07-15
1069 For game play purposes, you don't want people to feel super constipated all the time. 2019-04-26
418 FizzBuzz is the brown M&Ms of programming. 2018-05-29
755 Five waves?? What is this, a Nintendo boss battle? Jesus. 2018-10-01
619 Fiddlesticks! 2018-09-12
785 Feels bad man. 2018-10-12
1425 Fact check this pizza! 2021-11-25
983 Everything is so screwed and there's so little I can do about it. 2019-01-01
1422 Everyone's worried about AI taking over, ... but magic wands in all these programs suck. 2021-10-09
1347 Everybody, that is the state of gaming on Linux: Pascal Penguin. 2020-11-28
714 Everybody's not even just a two-year-old, they're a stupid two-year-old. 2018-09-29
713 Everybody's a two-year-old again all of a sudden. 2018-09-29
328 Everybody is fired. F-I-R-E-D. 2018-02-05
220 Every time somebody asks why I'm using SVN, I die a little bit inside. Because it should be obvious. 2017-08-12
166 Every life matters. [Runs over an enemy player] 2017-07-24
1085 Every editor based on Eclipse cannot open a 4mb file. I'm not surprised. I mean, who would *ever* have a file as large as 4 megabytes? That's just ridiculous? What are you even thinking? Why would you put four million bytes into the same file? Everybody knows that if you're programming, each file is supposed to have at most 100 lines of code, and then you're supposed to have 30,000 files. That's the understandable way to make your program. Don't you know anything? 2019-07-21
283 Engineering is about understanding what's going on. 2018-01-13
558 Emacs, the editor of 2027. 2018-09-02
1063 Emacs seems like the American space program in the 1990s and 2000s. 2019-04-16
759 Dude. What is your major malfunction? 2018-10-01
1255 Dude, we have so many if statements here, we just need to burn down most of them. This is crazy. 2020-06-03
776 Dude, this level looks rough. 2018-10-12
876 Dude, serious Peter Pan-ing in the shadowmap. 2018-10-20
917 Dude, it's like I'm talking to a college sophomore or something. 2018-11-18
1173 Dude, isn't that going to be terrible? At some point, if game programming is unionized, there'll be a thing that says you CAN'T do more than 10 lines of code a day. 2020-01-02
873 Dude, how can a walking simulator make me want to punch my monitor? 2018-10-20
1131 Dude, When I was 20, I didn't feel that young, but 20 is so young, dude, oh my god. If I could go be 20 again but know what I know now, I would probably still program a lot. 2019-08-11
101 Dude, Photoshop sucks. 2017-03-25
302 Dude, Mickey Mouse is going to be public domain in two years 2018-01-27
950 Dude, Javascript is the best programming language in the world because the dough's so good, because of the New York water. 2018-12-03
814 Dude, I'm getting owned! It's like people are good at this game all of a sudden. 2018-10-15
798 Dude, I took my boat to the boat club! 2018-10-13
816 Dude, I shot that guy around the corner. You know what I'm saying? That was not legit. That was a fuckin' 10-tick-server situation if I ever saw one. 2018-10-15
1433 Dude, I own the company. If people aren't going to read that comment, they don't have a job. You don't understand. 2022-05-08
548 Dude, I have so little patience for these problems, now that I use a language that doesn't have them. 2018-08-31
914 Dude, I hate this game! 2018-11-12
1052 Dude, I gotta write an operating system! 2019-04-09
431 Dude, I don't even want to decode this with my brain to figure out what you're doing. 2018-05-30
902 Dude, Elite Lounge, it's poppin'! It's got green frogs! 2018-10-22
1016 Dude! If fputs behaves differently than puts, then I'm not gonna use it out of sheer principle. 2019-01-07
88 Dude Unicode is a disaster, I think it needs to be destroyed. 2017-02-06
120 Drinkin' some tea out of the toilet. 2017-05-15
951 Drag, baby! 2018-12-03
1082 Doxygen is not ok. 2019-07-04
175 Donald Trump wants me to use the M16. 2017-07-25
1317 Don't you know I went to the Black Dynamite School of Elevator Programming? 2020-09-30
1098 Don't write garbage software, and your software won't have to get collected. 2019-07-29
1086 Don't punish people for exploring! 2019-07-21
926 Don't play like it's PUBG, play like it's COD. 2018-11-19
1376 Don't make mistakes. They are costly! 2021-01-22
877 Don't make me punch you, particles. 2018-10-20
132 Don't get distracted. 2017-05-27
522 Don't ever copy code off of the Web and expect that it's correct, StackOverflow people. 2018-08-30
485 Don't assume you should be motivated. If you're not motivated you should be finding something you can be motivated about. 2018-07-25
308 Don't PUBG me here. Don't PUBG me here!! 2018-01-29
1054 Doing good work on the modern Internet involves ignoring a lot of people. 2019-04-12
594 Does your workaround cause so many workarounds that you shouldn't do it anymore? 2018-09-04
533 Does this mean I return an IID? I don't know. They don't speak English here at Microsoft. 2018-08-30
123 Doctor Yu... No, Doctor Me! 2017-05-16
1432 Do you know any other programming stream on twitch dot tv where they put the lotion in the basket so consistently? I think not. 2022-05-08
1251 Do we support nullable types? Why yes, you can set pointers to null! 2020-05-28
1274 Do I like games that would be played by people from the Idiocracy? Not really. 2020-06-19
299 Did I change something that fixed something, or is it just a bug? 2018-01-16
372 Decibels are a useless, dumb thing that I don't uderstand why anybody measures things that way. It's my number one pet peeve in life. 2018-05-25
1114 Debug mode is like Depeche Mode, but slower. Debug mode is like Depeche Mode covered by Neu. 2019-07-31
455 Dammit, why do people do work?!? 2018-06-02
843 Dabrep. 2018-10-16
233 DOLLAR_SIGN... The things I do to get indentation. 2017-08-16
545 DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Print()s. 2018-08-31
1423 Crystal slot, that's the name of my new band. 2021-10-27
1365 Cpp is a programming language. It is named after the C programming language, but it's like when you're using C but you also really have to go to the bathroom, that's when you use cpp. 2020-12-14
136 Covfefe is hiding in here. 2017-06-05
932 Could be a big bag of baggers. 2018-11-22
1155 Coroutines are great until they're not, at which point they're horrible. 2019-11-02
695 Copy, paste, crash. 2018-09-24
1157 Computers can do tens of things - it's the year 2020. Although the Windows console is kinda slow. 2019-11-16
970 Computers are wasting your time every day, all the time, forever. 2018-12-22
1168 Computers are over. 2019-12-31
996 Computer people are weird to begin with, and they don't have social skills, and whatever. 2019-01-01
385 Compiling in one second is pretty good, but you know we have standards here. 2018-05-26
1019 Come on laptop! I only paid $4000 for you. 2019-01-27
992 Civilization is declining, is basically what's happening. 2019-01-01
498 Charlie took a lot of drugs. 2018-08-04
117 Change or remove a program... RenderDoc... Uninstall. Goodbye. 2017-03-26
895 Casey won't show me the game. He's a very stubborn person. 2018-10-22
327 Captain America is not supported in the current profile. 2018-02-05
1106 Can somebody teach me programming languages? 2019-07-30
1068 Call this group the end-zone, which is different from a friend-zone, but not that different. 2019-04-26
923 Cable tension is dangerous business. 2018-11-18
750 CAST THE SPELL! God fuckin'... 2018-09-30
1169 C++ is the king of bad names for standard components. 2019-12-31
28 C++ can't do this. But we can do that. We can totally do that. 2016-09-01
628 C#... it's not the worst. A little too much Unity, but we could do it. 2018-09-14
1291 C is what you retreat to after you've been too badly abused by C++. 2020-07-10
338 C ... Windows ... System32 ... Notepad! I should've guessed, it's not a program, it's notepad! 2018-02-06
306 Bye, twitch dot tv slash viewers! 2018-01-28
171 Bye, stream channel watchers! 2017-07-25
1110 By the time you report an error, you've given up on life. 2019-07-31
1337 But if you had nullable non-nullable types and algebraic mafingamabobbers then the manifold of the closure of the monad would have euler number 6. 2020-10-29
542 Business is a separate thing from what's good software. 2018-08-31
1349 Bug fixing makes me hungry. 2020-11-29
1440 Bro, we shipped Braid on Linux. It was a f_ing disaster. It's a huge a mount of effort - it's like the most high-maintenance girlfriend ever, except she also hates you. Is she hot, though? No! No. She looks like a penguin. 2022-11-16
860 Breaker one nine, the mamba is jaded, over. 2018-10-17
79 Boy, I sure am getting a lot of quotes added lately. 2017-02-06
491 Blue rocks can be good news. 2018-07-30
848 Binding of Oscar Isaac music. 2018-10-17
229 Believe me: there's no end to compiler bugs. 2017-08-15
104 Being lazy is a little bit of a skillset sometimes. 2017-03-25
684 Because you know what, computers are fast! (If you're not running in a web browser.) 2018-09-22
703 Because only kids knew how to set the VCR, now there's no respect for the older generation at all. 2018-09-24
565 Because it's C++, we have to redundantly babysit the compiler and hate programming. 2018-09-02
1177 Beam turd 2020-03-20
186 Be willing to do something seven times in order to get it right, and that'll make you a really good programmer. 2017-07-27
972 Be better. 2018-12-23
737 Bank, bank, bank. 2018-09-30
1399 Back in the mists of time, the great programmers of the past understood these issues and the lame programmers of today, including me forgot. 2021-02-28
1170 Baby Yoda is not going to succeed in the game industry. 2019-12-31
37 BOOM Headshot. 2017-01-22
606 Awwwww, my tea's cold. 2018-09-05
823 Aw, just put some Call of Duty shit in there, it'll make sense. Those kids don't know what they're doing anyway. 2018-10-15
277 Aw, I blued myself again! 2018-01-07
510 At times like this when the going gets tough... the going gets more solar panels. 2018-08-13
1171 At this point I may have channeled all the wisdom that I know how to give about how to succeed in the game industry. 2019-12-31
1150 At some point we're going to rewrite all this. It might not be before shipping the game. 2019-10-03
1254 At least it crashes really fast. 2020-05-31
177 At 9:00 I'll probably do a snack run to Whole Foods so I don't starve tonight. 2017-07-26
141 Assert-Lambda! That's the name of my new band. 2017-06-26
44 As soon as they put logo on duct tape, I will quit computing forever. 2017-01-26
989 As long as I can say I'm kicking off another process, I don't care that much, and I can go eat my Cheetos and go home. That's most web people. 2019-01-01
199 As far as I'm concerned, it's a little bit of an unsolved problem in computing. 2017-08-03
800 Apparently I can't do things that are not that ambitious. 2018-10-13
916 Anytime you say "cached_" anything, it's a little bit scary. 2018-11-12
1134 Any time you can speed up your program by a factor of 20, you did a good job that day. It maybe because you did a bad job on previous days, but you did a good job that day when you sped your program up by 20...if it's still correct. 2019-08-12
1401 Any time you can put less stuff in your level, it's probably a good idea. 2021-03-06
458 Any time you can get rid of 0.025% of the compiler, that is a good day. 2018-06-02
518 Any school that teaches UML diagrams needs to be shot out of a cannon. 2018-08-27
939 Any games I'm looking forward to? Hmm... Stephen's Sausage Roll 2... Stephen's Sausage Roll 3, Stephen's Sausage Roll 4... and Mountain King 2. 2018-11-24
788 Any game where you can concuss yourself and still win is a good game. 2018-10-13
1 And then... no, I ran the wrong thing again! 2016-03-02
133 And the reason you'd do that is because "oh, maybe you'll bind something to the global namespace" but no, fu-- no... 2017-05-27
1361 And C++ just said "Hold my beer" and made a ton of extremely more unfortunate decisions. 2020-12-06
538 An enumerator is a thing that enumerates, guys. Holy fuck... 2018-08-30
48 Am I stupid?! 2017-01-28
480 Am I completely out of water? Or just mostly out of water? 2018-06-24
505 Alright, that is not a correct exapunking. 2018-08-10
861 Alright, now which mamba are we gonna jade? 2018-10-17
609 Almost no programmers work higher than 10-20% of what they're actually capable of. I'm not saying that as a diss, it's a widespread problem. 2018-09-05
1313 All you have to do to make assert work is look up the spec for a file format and type in a ton of definitions. And then you can assert. That is how software works. You can't assert unless you do that. 2020-09-24
1185 All journalists are tabloid journalists these days, broh. 2020-03-28
7 All bits are lit. 2016-03-17
573 All a monad is is typechecking. It's an abstraction barrier that enforces a wall between one part of your program and another. That's, like, the only thing I can tell that it is. It's like what you already have in C++ all the time. It's literally nothing. 2018-09-03
1258 All I want to be able to do is output a red pixel from a particle. That is all that I want to be able to do and it's going to take an hour and that's why programming is bad. 2020-06-07
915 Aim for the head and play like you own the place. 2018-11-12
413 Against my better judgement, I'm having tea with caffeine at 7 PM. 2018-05-29
764 Advanced does nothing when I click on it. That's not very advanced. 2018-10-04
86 According to this, i'm doing really bad stuff all the time. 2017-02-06
260 AHHHH EGGS! I hate you, eggs. 2017-12-06
482 A minimalist puzzle game. Nobody's gonna buy this. 2018-07-19
401 A lot of people would ask, "Why are you not using templates for this," and the answer is... bleehh. 2018-05-28
262 78 people watching? Okay, I'll try to be less grouchy. It's easy to be grouchy when I'm playing videogames! 2017-12-23
1218 32-bit numbers seem so small now.! They're so quaint. 2020-05-02
1329 128 bit boolean! I mean, sometimes you need to make sure that you have enough digits of accuracy in your boolean. That's just how it is. 2020-10-17
462 1080P MY ASS 2018-06-02
1133 0.2 Witnesses is still a substantial amount of work, but it's tractable. 2019-08-12
457 // Ignacio did not implement this so now he is going to be sorry. 2018-06-02
756 ...or an indie game boss battle from a game you downloaded on TIGSource. 2018-10-01
459 ...and we will start programming, instead of this question and answer nonsense 2018-06-02
394 *crash* Oh, there goes the eye tracker. 2018-05-26
295 'Searching for file contents could be slow?' You just advertised to me that you were the fastest-- ...Software is so hopeless. 2018-01-15
281 'Does this guy ever interact with chat?' Thanks for the 12-month resub, ResonatorGames! 2018-01-13
194 "is this a gun that shoots bullets?" - Casey, 27.7.17. 2017-07-28
1008 "Windows is stinky" is the conclusion we're coming to. 2019-01-06
578 "When will this be done?" When it's done. 2018-09-03
890 "What is my keyboard/monitor?" uhh, I use a computer. And a monitor. 2018-10-22
550 "This string can be interpreted in a number of ways." As soon as you have to write that in your documentation, you have failed. 2018-08-31
662 "Svn blame", they should call it "Svn this person is fired". 2018-09-20
450 "Semicolon expected after a declaration" is the name of my new band. 2018-06-02
1328 "Return Return". That's the name of my new programming language. 2020-10-17
1102 "Protobufs never halt". That's the name of the new James Bond Movie. 2019-07-29
1391 "Pitch" just reminds me of the black tar of code that I do not want to get stuck in. 2021-02-23
461 "Lexical Extent" is the name of my new band. 2018-06-02
561 "Lep's World 2" sounds like a racist game. 2018-09-02
1327 "Index Index" is the name of my new band. 2020-10-17
584 "How many books on the shelf are about web development?" I'm pretty sure the answer is exactly zero. I doubt that a web development book has snuck in, but it's possible. 2018-09-03
566 "How did that happen?" you may ask. "I don't know," I may answer. 2018-09-02
580 "How big of a quality-of-life improvement has the language been?" Massive, because I'm actually happy when I program now. 2018-09-03
585 "Can you name *anything* that the web does that is actually sane and possibly even good?" ... [30 seconds later] ...I'm having a hard time with that question. 2018-09-03
490 "COMEFROM is your favourite programming joke ever," EXCEPT... C++ has come-from in it. Non-ironically. And people think it's useful and use it all the time. 2018-07-29
449 "Buy me coffee." That's... presumptuous. 2018-06-01
768 "Being self-employed in the US, how does health insurance work?" Well, you just get health insurance. 2018-10-11
1403 "Bad Signature" is the name of my new band. 2021-03-16