| 1403 |
"Bad Signature" is the name of my new band. |
2021-03-16 |
|
| 768 |
"Being self-employed in the US, how does health insurance work?" Well, you just get health insurance. |
2018-10-11 |
|
| 449 |
"Buy me coffee." That's... presumptuous. |
2018-06-01 |
|
| 490 |
"COMEFROM is your favourite programming joke ever," EXCEPT... C++ has come-from in it. Non-ironically. And people think it's useful and use it all the time. |
2018-07-29 |
|
| 585 |
"Can you name *anything* that the web does that is actually sane and possibly even good?" ... [30 seconds later] ...I'm having a hard time with that question. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 580 |
"How big of a quality-of-life improvement has the language been?" Massive, because I'm actually happy when I program now. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 566 |
"How did that happen?" you may ask. "I don't know," I may answer. |
2018-09-02 |
|
| 584 |
"How many books on the shelf are about web development?" I'm pretty sure the answer is exactly zero. I doubt that a web development book has snuck in, but it's possible. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 1327 |
"Index Index" is the name of my new band. |
2020-10-17 |
|
| 561 |
"Lep's World 2" sounds like a racist game. |
2018-09-02 |
|
| 461 |
"Lexical Extent" is the name of my new band. |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 1391 |
"Pitch" just reminds me of the black tar of code that I do not want to get stuck in. |
2021-02-23 |
|
| 1102 |
"Protobufs never halt". That's the name of the new James Bond Movie. |
2019-07-29 |
|
| 1328 |
"Return Return". That's the name of my new programming language. |
2020-10-17 |
|
| 450 |
"Semicolon expected after a declaration" is the name of my new band. |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 662 |
"Svn blame", they should call it "Svn this person is fired". |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 550 |
"This string can be interpreted in a number of ways." As soon as you have to write that in your documentation, you have failed. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 890 |
"What is my keyboard/monitor?" uhh, I use a computer. And a monitor. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 578 |
"When will this be done?" When it's done. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 1008 |
"Windows is stinky" is the conclusion we're coming to. |
2019-01-06 |
|
| 194 |
"is this a gun that shoots bullets?" - Casey, 27.7.17. |
2017-07-28 |
|
| 281 |
'Does this guy ever interact with chat?' Thanks for the 12-month resub, ResonatorGames! |
2018-01-13 |
|
| 295 |
'Searching for file contents could be slow?' You just advertised to me that you were the fastest-- ...Software is so hopeless. |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 394 |
*crash* Oh, there goes the eye tracker. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 459 |
...and we will start programming, instead of this question and answer nonsense |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 756 |
...or an indie game boss battle from a game you downloaded on TIGSource. |
2018-10-01 |
|
| 457 |
// Ignacio did not implement this so now he is going to be sorry. |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 1133 |
0.2 Witnesses is still a substantial amount of work, but it's tractable. |
2019-08-12 |
|
| 462 |
1080P MY ASS |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 1329 |
128 bit boolean! I mean, sometimes you need to make sure that you have enough digits of accuracy in your boolean. That's just how it is. |
2020-10-17 |
|
| 1218 |
32-bit numbers seem so small now.! They're so quaint. |
2020-05-02 |
|
| 262 |
78 people watching? Okay, I'll try to be less grouchy. It's easy to be grouchy when I'm playing videogames! |
2017-12-23 |
|
| 401 |
A lot of people would ask, "Why are you not using templates for this," and the answer is... bleehh. |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 482 |
A minimalist puzzle game. Nobody's gonna buy this. |
2018-07-19 |
|
| 260 |
AHHHH EGGS! I hate you, eggs. |
2017-12-06 |
|
| 86 |
According to this, i'm doing really bad stuff all the time. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 764 |
Advanced does nothing when I click on it. That's not very advanced. |
2018-10-04 |
|
| 413 |
Against my better judgement, I'm having tea with caffeine at 7 PM. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 915 |
Aim for the head and play like you own the place. |
2018-11-12 |
|
| 1258 |
All I want to be able to do is output a red pixel from a particle. That is all that I want to be able to do and it's going to take an hour and that's why programming is bad. |
2020-06-07 |
|
| 573 |
All a monad is is typechecking. It's an abstraction barrier that enforces a wall between one part of your program and another. That's, like, the only thing I can tell that it is. It's like what you already have in C++ all the time. It's literally nothing. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 7 |
All bits are lit. |
2016-03-17 |
|
| 1185 |
All journalists are tabloid journalists these days, broh. |
2020-03-28 |
|
| 1313 |
All you have to do to make assert work is look up the spec for a file format and type in a ton of definitions. And then you can assert. That is how software works. You can't assert unless you do that. |
2020-09-24 |
|
| 609 |
Almost no programmers work higher than 10-20% of what they're actually capable of. I'm not saying that as a diss, it's a widespread problem. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 861 |
Alright, now which mamba are we gonna jade? |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 505 |
Alright, that is not a correct exapunking. |
2018-08-10 |
|
| 480 |
Am I completely out of water? Or just mostly out of water? |
2018-06-24 |
|
| 48 |
Am I stupid?! |
2017-01-28 |
|
| 538 |
An enumerator is a thing that enumerates, guys. Holy fuck... |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 1361 |
And C++ just said "Hold my beer" and made a ton of extremely more unfortunate decisions. |
2020-12-06 |
|
| 1456 |
And always remember, if you want to succeed in the games industry, compare the variable against minus one. |
2023-08-13 |
|
| 133 |
And the reason you'd do that is because "oh, maybe you'll bind something to the global namespace" but no, fu-- no... |
2017-05-27 |
|
| 1 |
And then... no, I ran the wrong thing again! |
2016-03-02 |
|
| 788 |
Any game where you can concuss yourself and still win is a good game. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 1457 |
Any game where you have a Tetris squiggle can't be all bad. |
2023-11-12 |
|
| 939 |
Any games I'm looking forward to? Hmm... Stephen's Sausage Roll 2... Stephen's Sausage Roll 3, Stephen's Sausage Roll 4... and Mountain King 2. |
2018-11-24 |
|
| 518 |
Any school that teaches UML diagrams needs to be shot out of a cannon. |
2018-08-27 |
|
| 458 |
Any time you can get rid of 0.025% of the compiler, that is a good day. |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 1401 |
Any time you can put less stuff in your level, it's probably a good idea. |
2021-03-06 |
|
| 1134 |
Any time you can speed up your program by a factor of 20, you did a good job that day. It maybe because you did a bad job on previous days, but you did a good job that day when you sped your program up by 20...if it's still correct. |
2019-08-12 |
|
| 916 |
Anytime you say "cached_" anything, it's a little bit scary. |
2018-11-12 |
|
| 800 |
Apparently I can't do things that are not that ambitious. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 199 |
As far as I'm concerned, it's a little bit of an unsolved problem in computing. |
2017-08-03 |
|
| 989 |
As long as I can say I'm kicking off another process, I don't care that much, and I can go eat my Cheetos and go home. That's most web people. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 44 |
As soon as they put logo on duct tape, I will quit computing forever. |
2017-01-26 |
|
| 141 |
Assert-Lambda! That's the name of my new band. |
2017-06-26 |
|
| 177 |
At 9:00 I'll probably do a snack run to Whole Foods so I don't starve tonight. |
2017-07-26 |
|
| 1254 |
At least it crashes really fast. |
2020-05-31 |
|
| 1150 |
At some point we're going to rewrite all this. It might not be before shipping the game. |
2019-10-03 |
|
| 1171 |
At this point I may have channeled all the wisdom that I know how to give about how to succeed in the game industry. |
2019-12-31 |
|
| 510 |
At times like this when the going gets tough... the going gets more solar panels. |
2018-08-13 |
|
| 277 |
Aw, I blued myself again! |
2018-01-07 |
|
| 823 |
Aw, just put some Call of Duty shit in there, it'll make sense. Those kids don't know what they're doing anyway. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 606 |
Awwwww, my tea's cold. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 37 |
BOOM Headshot. |
2017-01-22 |
|
| 1170 |
Baby Yoda is not going to succeed in the game industry. |
2019-12-31 |
|
| 1399 |
Back in the mists of time, the great programmers of the past understood these issues and the lame programmers of today, including me forgot. |
2021-02-28 |
|
| 737 |
Bank, bank, bank. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 972 |
Be better. |
2018-12-23 |
|
| 186 |
Be willing to do something seven times in order to get it right, and that'll make you a really good programmer. |
2017-07-27 |
|
| 1177 |
Beam turd |
2020-03-20 |
|
| 565 |
Because it's C++, we have to redundantly babysit the compiler and hate programming. |
2018-09-02 |
|
| 703 |
Because only kids knew how to set the VCR, now there's no respect for the older generation at all. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 684 |
Because you know what, computers are fast! (If you're not running in a web browser.) |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 104 |
Being lazy is a little bit of a skillset sometimes. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 229 |
Believe me: there's no end to compiler bugs. |
2017-08-15 |
|
| 848 |
Binding of Oscar Isaac music. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 491 |
Blue rocks can be good news. |
2018-07-30 |
|
| 79 |
Boy, I sure am getting a lot of quotes added lately. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 860 |
Breaker one nine, the mamba is jaded, over. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 1440 |
Bro, we shipped Braid on Linux. It was a f_ing disaster. It's a huge a mount of effort - it's like the most high-maintenance girlfriend ever, except she also hates you. Is she hot, though? No! No. She looks like a penguin. |
2022-11-16 |
|
| 1349 |
Bug fixing makes me hungry. |
2020-11-29 |
|
| 542 |
Business is a separate thing from what's good software. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 1337 |
But if you had nullable non-nullable types and algebraic mafingamabobbers then the manifold of the closure of the monad would have euler number 6. |
2020-10-29 |
|
| 1110 |
By the time you report an error, you've given up on life. |
2019-07-31 |
|
| 171 |
Bye, stream channel watchers! |
2017-07-25 |
|
| 306 |
Bye, twitch dot tv slash viewers! |
2018-01-28 |
|
| 338 |
C ... Windows ... System32 ... Notepad! I should've guessed, it's not a program, it's notepad! |
2018-02-06 |
|
| 1291 |
C is what you retreat to after you've been too badly abused by C++. |
2020-07-10 |
|
| 628 |
C#... it's not the worst. A little too much Unity, but we could do it. |
2018-09-14 |
|
| 28 |
C++ can't do this. But we can do that. We can totally do that. |
2016-09-01 |
|
| 1169 |
C++ is the king of bad names for standard components. |
2019-12-31 |
|
| 750 |
CAST THE SPELL! God fuckin'... |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 923 |
Cable tension is dangerous business. |
2018-11-18 |
|
| 1068 |
Call this group the end-zone, which is different from a friend-zone, but not that different. |
2019-04-26 |
|
| 1461 |
Callbacks are for people who don't want their programs to run smoothly. |
2024-01-14 |
|
| 1106 |
Can somebody teach me programming languages? |
2019-07-30 |
|
| 327 |
Captain America is not supported in the current profile. |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 895 |
Casey won't show me the game. He's a very stubborn person. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 117 |
Change or remove a program... RenderDoc... Uninstall. Goodbye. |
2017-03-26 |
|
| 498 |
Charlie took a lot of drugs. |
2018-08-04 |
|
| 992 |
Civilization is declining, is basically what's happening. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 1019 |
Come on laptop! I only paid $4000 for you. |
2019-01-27 |
|
| 385 |
Compiling in one second is pretty good, but you know we have standards here. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 996 |
Computer people are weird to begin with, and they don't have social skills, and whatever. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 1168 |
Computers are over. |
2019-12-31 |
|
| 970 |
Computers are wasting your time every day, all the time, forever. |
2018-12-22 |
|
| 1157 |
Computers can do tens of things - it's the year 2020. Although the Windows console is kinda slow. |
2019-11-16 |
|
| 695 |
Copy, paste, crash. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 1155 |
Coroutines are great until they're not, at which point they're horrible. |
2019-11-02 |
|
| 932 |
Could be a big bag of baggers. |
2018-11-22 |
|
| 136 |
Covfefe is hiding in here. |
2017-06-05 |
|
| 1365 |
Cpp is a programming language. It is named after the C programming language, but it's like when you're using C but you also really have to go to the bathroom, that's when you use cpp. |
2020-12-14 |
|
| 1423 |
Crystal slot, that's the name of my new band. |
2021-10-27 |
|
| 545 |
DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Print()s. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 233 |
DOLLAR_SIGN... The things I do to get indentation. |
2017-08-16 |
|
| 843 |
Dabrep. |
2018-10-16 |
|
| 455 |
Dammit, why do people do work?!? |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 1114 |
Debug mode is like Depeche Mode, but slower. Debug mode is like Depeche Mode covered by Neu. |
2019-07-31 |
|
| 372 |
Decibels are a useless, dumb thing that I don't uderstand why anybody measures things that way. It's my number one pet peeve in life. |
2018-05-25 |
|
| 299 |
Did I change something that fixed something, or is it just a bug? |
2018-01-16 |
|
| 1274 |
Do I like games that would be played by people from the Idiocracy? Not really. |
2020-06-19 |
|
| 1251 |
Do we support nullable types? Why yes, you can set pointers to null! |
2020-05-28 |
|
| 1432 |
Do you know any other programming stream on twitch dot tv where they put the lotion in the basket so consistently? I think not. |
2022-05-08 |
|
| 123 |
Doctor Yu... No, Doctor Me! |
2017-05-16 |
|
| 533 |
Does this mean I return an IID? I don't know. They don't speak English here at Microsoft. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 594 |
Does your workaround cause so many workarounds that you shouldn't do it anymore? |
2018-09-04 |
|
| 1054 |
Doing good work on the modern Internet involves ignoring a lot of people. |
2019-04-12 |
|
| 308 |
Don't PUBG me here. Don't PUBG me here!! |
2018-01-29 |
|
| 485 |
Don't assume you should be motivated. If you're not motivated you should be finding something you can be motivated about. |
2018-07-25 |
|
| 522 |
Don't ever copy code off of the Web and expect that it's correct, StackOverflow people. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 132 |
Don't get distracted. |
2017-05-27 |
|
| 877 |
Don't make me punch you, particles. |
2018-10-20 |
|
| 1376 |
Don't make mistakes. They are costly! |
2021-01-22 |
|
| 926 |
Don't play like it's PUBG, play like it's COD. |
2018-11-19 |
|
| 1086 |
Don't punish people for exploring! |
2019-07-21 |
|
| 1098 |
Don't write garbage software, and your software won't have to get collected. |
2019-07-29 |
|
| 1317 |
Don't you know I went to the Black Dynamite School of Elevator Programming? |
2020-09-30 |
|
| 175 |
Donald Trump wants me to use the M16. |
2017-07-25 |
|
| 1082 |
Doxygen is not ok. |
2019-07-04 |
|
| 951 |
Drag, baby! |
2018-12-03 |
|
| 120 |
Drinkin' some tea out of the toilet. |
2017-05-15 |
|
| 88 |
Dude Unicode is a disaster, I think it needs to be destroyed. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 1016 |
Dude! If fputs behaves differently than puts, then I'm not gonna use it out of sheer principle. |
2019-01-07 |
|
| 902 |
Dude, Elite Lounge, it's poppin'! It's got green frogs! |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 431 |
Dude, I don't even want to decode this with my brain to figure out what you're doing. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 1052 |
Dude, I gotta write an operating system! |
2019-04-09 |
|
| 914 |
Dude, I hate this game! |
2018-11-12 |
|
| 548 |
Dude, I have so little patience for these problems, now that I use a language that doesn't have them. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 1433 |
Dude, I own the company. If people aren't going to read that comment, they don't have a job. You don't understand. |
2022-05-08 |
|
| 816 |
Dude, I shot that guy around the corner. You know what I'm saying? That was not legit. That was a fuckin' 10-tick-server situation if I ever saw one. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 798 |
Dude, I took my boat to the boat club! |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 814 |
Dude, I'm getting owned! It's like people are good at this game all of a sudden. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 950 |
Dude, Javascript is the best programming language in the world because the dough's so good, because of the New York water. |
2018-12-03 |
|
| 302 |
Dude, Mickey Mouse is going to be public domain in two years |
2018-01-27 |
|
| 101 |
Dude, Photoshop sucks. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 1131 |
Dude, When I was 20, I didn't feel that young, but 20 is so young, dude, oh my god. If I could go be 20 again but know what I know now, I would probably still program a lot. |
2019-08-11 |
|
| 873 |
Dude, how can a walking simulator make me want to punch my monitor? |
2018-10-20 |
|
| 1173 |
Dude, isn't that going to be terrible? At some point, if game programming is unionized, there'll be a thing that says you CAN'T do more than 10 lines of code a day. |
2020-01-02 |
|
| 917 |
Dude, it's like I'm talking to a college sophomore or something. |
2018-11-18 |
|
| 876 |
Dude, serious Peter Pan-ing in the shadowmap. |
2018-10-20 |
|
| 776 |
Dude, this level looks rough. |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 1255 |
Dude, we have so many if statements here, we just need to burn down most of them. This is crazy. |
2020-06-03 |
|
| 759 |
Dude. What is your major malfunction? |
2018-10-01 |
|
| 1063 |
Emacs seems like the American space program in the 1990s and 2000s. |
2019-04-16 |
|
| 558 |
Emacs, the editor of 2027. |
2018-09-02 |
|
| 283 |
Engineering is about understanding what's going on. |
2018-01-13 |
|
| 1085 |
Every editor based on Eclipse cannot open a 4mb file. I'm not surprised. I mean, who would *ever* have a file as large as 4 megabytes? That's just ridiculous? What are you even thinking? Why would you put four million bytes into the same file? Everybody knows that if you're programming, each file is supposed to have at most 100 lines of code, and then you're supposed to have 30,000 files. That's the understandable way to make your program. Don't you know anything? |
2019-07-21 |
|
| 166 |
Every life matters. [Runs over an enemy player] |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 220 |
Every time somebody asks why I'm using SVN, I die a little bit inside. Because it should be obvious. |
2017-08-12 |
|
| 328 |
Everybody is fired. F-I-R-E-D. |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 713 |
Everybody's a two-year-old again all of a sudden. |
2018-09-29 |
|
| 714 |
Everybody's not even just a two-year-old, they're a stupid two-year-old. |
2018-09-29 |
|
| 1347 |
Everybody, that is the state of gaming on Linux: Pascal Penguin. |
2020-11-28 |
|
| 1422 |
Everyone's worried about AI taking over, ... but magic wands in all these programs suck. |
2021-10-09 |
|
| 983 |
Everything is so screwed and there's so little I can do about it. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 1425 |
Fact check this pizza! |
2021-11-25 |
|
| 785 |
Feels bad man. |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 619 |
Fiddlesticks! |
2018-09-12 |
|
| 755 |
Five waves?? What is this, a Nintendo boss battle? Jesus. |
2018-10-01 |
|
| 418 |
FizzBuzz is the brown M&Ms of programming. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 1069 |
For game play purposes, you don't want people to feel super constipated all the time. |
2019-04-26 |
|
| 1414 |
Fourteen lines of code. That is 1.4 industry standard work days that we just wrote and then deleted. GGs! |
2021-07-15 |
|
| 1158 |
Freedom isn't free, it costs a buck-o-nine, as you know. |
2019-11-29 |
|
| 587 |
Frickin' frackin' release the kraken. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 1038 |
Fricking orcs. Orcs are bad. |
2019-03-02 |
|
| 89 |
Frog Fractions 2 should have had Fez 2 in it. That would have been quality. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 1051 |
Full-time streamer. I'm gonna play Apex Legends and Dota 2 Autochess. I'm gonna dye my hair blue and have a bunch of 12-year-olds as my audience. |
2019-04-09 |
|
| 1001 |
Fullstack means web, and web means bad. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 463 |
GAAHH, Visual Studio just jumped on my butt. |
2018-06-03 |
|
| 731 |
Gabe!!! |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 126 |
Gah, the interface! [shoots in-game computer screen with shotgun] |
2017-05-18 |
|
| 1302 |
Game development consists 100% of problems in the most generic sense. |
2020-08-07 |
|
| 456 |
Game of Throwbacks. |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 554 |
Generally, the people who make snippy remarks to me on Twitter do not have the level of social bravery to say those things to me in real life. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 210 |
Gggnaaah! I don't care it's a TV show |
2017-08-08 |
|
| 436 |
Ghchildstrinrd... Ghchildstrinwr... |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 1011 |
Ghostbusters is not a good movie. I hate to say it. I hate to say it! |
2019-01-06 |
|
| 420 |
Given that it's 35 megabytes, it better have a linker in there somewhere. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 236 |
Given the state of videogame journalism these days, I wouldn't be surprised if some announcement actually happens that I'm working on Knack 3. I don't wanna cause trouble. *laughs* |
2017-08-16 |
|
| 368 |
Go down the tube? I tried to go down the tube. I doesn't go anywhere! |
2018-05-19 |
|
| 395 |
Go go gadget thinger. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 805 |
Go go gadget vehicle. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 866 |
Go people are so ridiculous for not putting assert. |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 745 |
God, there's so many crystals! |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 906 |
God, this thing steers like a cow. Like a drunken cow! |
2018-10-23 |
|
| 1103 |
Good news everybody. We are now indexing a nil value, which is how you know we've really been doing some work. |
2019-07-30 |
|
| 1393 |
Grapefruit is gross. I don't understand why anyone would ever eat a grapefruit. It doesn't make any sense to me. |
2021-02-23 |
|
| 286 |
Graphics programming is just a giant disaster. It's so terrible. I'm sorry. |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 1072 |
Green threads is the entity component system of 2016. |
2019-05-06 |
|
| 124 |
Guys, if this is your game, it has to be better than this. |
2017-05-17 |
|
| 402 |
Have you ever heard of programming? It's this thing where sometimes you say while (1). |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 633 |
He set up defensively and then as soon as I attacked him, he ran away. What kind of chicken man is that? |
2018-09-15 |
|
| 1341 |
He should make it $300/hour. Then everybody will be rich. Why are politicians so stupid? Just make the minimum wage $300 an hour. Every single American will just make tons of money. Everyone will be happy. It's so easy to solve these problems. |
2020-11-07 |
|
| 806 |
He was a gamer. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 318 |
He's behind the barrier with all the bullet holes in it. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 604 |
He's got the shakes. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 1288 |
Hear me out here, my idea for an operating system is that it should be obvious and clear which window has the focus and will respond to your keyboard input, okay? I know this is a revolutionary idea, but I think it's time has come. |
2020-06-26 |
|
| 709 |
Here is the sauce. |
2018-09-25 |
|
| 131 |
Here we got the big SAILOR. |
2017-05-27 |
|
| 1460 |
Here's where we bust out the spicy meme. |
2024-01-06 |
|
| 169 |
Hey Hummus, did you win Stephen's Sausage Roll yet? Or are you a loser? |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 1367 |
Hey kids, if you wanna succeed in the game industry, don't divide by zero sixteen times at the start of every function. That's just a pro tip for you. I mean you might feel the need to be thorough to divide by zero of all kinds of different sizes just to make sure that you get all the zeros. |
2021-01-14 |
|
| 287 |
Hey look, I can't see anything! That's great! |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 513 |
Hey look, they have portals that look like the portals from Portal. |
2018-08-25 |
|
| 231 |
Hey! Ok, we're back to the Land of Sanity. |
2017-08-16 |
|
| 170 |
Hey, thanks for the resub, buddy412! |
2017-07-25 |
|
| 1287 |
Honestly I have way too much to do but I might, just as a learning experience, poke around and make try to make something boot in a VM sometime just to do it. Like, that would be fun. I really shouldn't do that. I have so many things to do. But like, oh my God, I'm so tired of everything. |
2020-06-26 |
|
| 30 |
Hope is amazing when you can have it. |
2016-11-21 |
|
| 789 |
Hopefully he's fixated on the package. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 84 |
Hot dogs are pretty important but they're not as important as putting text into the copy buffer. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 1310 |
How about if I go back to programming, like it says in the stream title. Wouldn't that be a good thing? For everybody. |
2020-09-07 |
|
| 358 |
How are there 357 quotes? That's too many. |
2018-04-01 |
|
| 1380 |
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat? |
2021-02-06 |
|
| 746 |
How come I can't walk there? Because there's a 1-inch high cube? ...Unreal Engine. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 859 |
How come the circle is outside the combat zone? That's a Jaded Mamba situation. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 415 |
How complete is the langauge on a scale of 0 to 100%? -463 + 115i + 3.1j + 2e17k. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 1046 |
How did they manage to make even the scrollbar hard to use? |
2019-04-06 |
|
| 568 |
How did this ever work? |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 621 |
How did this ever work? |
2018-09-12 |
|
| 729 |
How do I end? |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 96 |
How do I have 94 quotes already? We were at like 40 last week. |
2017-02-07 |
|
| 135 |
How do I jump out? That's communist. |
2017-06-03 |
|
| 1160 |
How do I only have hovering rock syndrome when time goes slow? |
2019-12-02 |
|
| 193 |
How do you go to a place like this and not have awesome caves? |
2017-07-28 |
|
| 189 |
How does anything work? |
2017-07-27 |
|
| 1116 |
How frickin' crazy is that? It's better than a real language. A real language wouldn't be this good. |
2019-07-24 |
|
| 479 |
How high do I have to be in order to go around that damn obstacle? |
2018-06-21 |
|
| 414 |
How is them apples? Them apples, in my opinion, is better than the NHL finals. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 656 |
How is three plus two eight? |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 827 |
How many collapses do you guys think there's gonna be? It's just such an unknown mystery. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 793 |
How many hit points is "vague blood splat at the side of the screen"? |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 547 |
How many people should get fired from that alone? |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 804 |
I actually had the presence of mind to SLIDE, how'd you like them apples? |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 150 |
I already don't necessarily like this. |
2017-07-21 |
|
| 25 |
I always have a Casey Muratori in my head somewhere. |
2016-08-23 |
|
| 157 |
I am an influencer of poopdogs. Poopfluencer. It's like Neuromancer. |
2017-07-22 |
|
| 819 |
I am engaging in the "Unthinking Act of Murder." Thanks, game. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 661 |
I am fired. |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 1125 |
I am not a...person. |
2019-08-04 |
|
| 715 |
I am starting a stream. |
2018-09-29 |
|
| 1141 |
I apologize, but it's the Web. |
2019-08-17 |
|
| 8 |
I avoid them, like I avoid all STDs in real life. |
2016-05-07 |
|
| 529 |
I bet Ignacio defined BSTR... Nope. No frickin' BSTR. Is that like something for The Beastmaster? |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 389 |
I bet there's a woman in England somewhere named Constance Block [...] she's the patron saint of this program. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 248 |
I can almost guarantee that there's going to be more problems, but it's lunch time, so... |
2017-10-04 |
|
| 1219 |
I can already feel today I'm at like about a 50% brainpower day. Which is not that bad. Like you can get a lot done on a 50% brainpower day, but I can already tell this is taking me longer to figure out than it should. |
2020-05-02 |
|
| 1418 |
I can at least retire knowing that I had Marvin in my video game. |
2021-09-07 |
|
| 290 |
I can do this with a superhack. |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 925 |
I can happily announce that plans for today's 0-bagger have been cancelled. |
2018-11-19 |
|
| 744 |
I can't alt-F4 the game. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1280 |
I can't believe people in chat are having a discussion about how long lines of code should be, maximum. What better way is there to prevent yourself from programming something useful and good that would help the world? |
2020-06-28 |
|
| 361 |
I can't believe we're in 2018 and I'm still spilling tea on my shirt. |
2018-04-01 |
|
| 796 |
I can't count. I can only computer program. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 660 |
I can't even do Windows anymore. |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 1210 |
I can't say "UB" except in sarcasm quotes, I'm sorry. |
2020-04-27 |
|
| 1286 |
I can't wait until this is done and I can start working on an operating system! |
2020-06-26 |
|
| 1030 |
I can't watch super hero movies any more. If I'm ever going to still be a good programmer, especially in my older ages, I need to preserve my brain cells, you know what I'm saying? ... I can't keep killing them with super hero movies. |
2019-02-25 |
|
| 734 |
I care about the stream quality. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1198 |
I didn't pay thousands of dollars for this program to do your janitorial work for you. |
2020-04-18 |
|
| 905 |
I do have to think more like a gamer, it's true. I've gotta game harder. [starts opening wingsuit] Look, I'm gaming right now! |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 464 |
I do not accept Venezuelan chavismos. |
2018-06-03 |
|
| 276 |
I don't consider myself indie. I consider myself a videogame art person. |
2018-01-07 |
|
| 971 |
I don't do Modern C++. I do Medieval C++. |
2018-12-23 |
|
| 1202 |
I don't feel that our problem with computers right now is that our mobile bandwidth is not high enough. |
2020-04-18 |
|
| 108 |
I don't hate it. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 5 |
I don't hear any beep boop... |
2016-03-17 |
|
| 1262 |
I don't know guys. I'm ready to give up on game development right now. It was a good run. |
2020-06-08 |
|
| 1246 |
I don't know how much happiness is worth. Isn't that the story of life? |
2020-05-12 |
|
| 214 |
I don't know how much to care about that right now. |
2017-08-09 |
|
| 935 |
I don't know how people who use Photoshop don't commit suicide in droves. It's a PERFECTLY FINE program for 1992. |
2018-11-24 |
|
| 637 |
I don't know if it's faking it well or is actually good. |
2018-09-15 |
|
| 474 |
I don't know if the pickle armor is better than non-pickle |
2018-06-09 |
|
| 825 |
I don't know if you guys know this, but they're expecting a further collapse. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 386 |
I don't know what false means, but it means something. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 872 |
I don't know what it is about drinking a drink online, but that happens unusually much. |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 165 |
I don't know what left is. |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 773 |
I don't know what this is. "Sandstorm." It's got 133 million views. |
2018-10-11 |
|
| 721 |
I don't know what's going on with computers. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1166 |
I don't know which Visual Studio this is. |
2019-12-09 |
|
| 674 |
I don't know why people keep insisting that brunch and breakalunch are the same thing. They're not the same thing. |
2018-09-21 |
|
| 1090 |
I don't know why you don't think our game works, because clearly 60% of the time it works all the time. |
2019-07-26 |
|
| 475 |
I don't know why. I sorta know why. |
2018-06-19 |
|
| 1136 |
I don't know. $20 million isn't enough. That's only $4 million a year. I mean that's find when you're a youngster |
2019-08-14 |
|
| 1147 |
I don't know. I think i quit video games and go into financial management now. |
2019-09-02 |
|
| 514 |
I don't know. These are the hard problems in programming. |
2018-08-27 |
|
| 834 |
I don't like answering questions about what my games are about, because the game tells you what it's about. The game is what it's about. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 69 |
I don't like anything about what Microsoft are doing these days. |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 719 |
I don't like broken physics games. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 653 |
I don't need a big house, I don't have a big family and I don't throw huge parties. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 512 |
I don't need to play that. |
2018-08-25 |
|
| 795 |
I don't play these noob games. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 422 |
I don't really drink beer...maybe sometimes I should, it might help me deal with this sort of thing |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 232 |
I don't see any questions in the chat. I guess that's because my amazing, error-free, daffed programming skills have been too quick for everybody so far, that's ok. *laughs* |
2017-08-16 |
|
| 1390 |
I don't see anyone solving hard problems with a package manager. I see them pooping out Stack Overflow code. Show me the hard problems! |
2021-02-15 |
|
| 293 |
I don't think I like Time Spy, honestly. |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 468 |
I don't want to break what isn't broken. |
2018-06-06 |
|
| 555 |
I don't want to do any of this, but we're morally obligated to do this. |
2018-09-01 |
|
| 754 |
I don't want to do my taxes, I want to play a game. |
2018-10-01 |
|
| 1320 |
I drink tea out of Winnie the Pooh mugs, which is not even legal in large parts of Asia. |
2020-10-01 |
|
| 760 |
I failed because I didn't winch up the winch in giant spider land. |
2018-10-01 |
|
| 100 |
I feel kind of slow and stupid today. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 962 |
I feel like I'm being Jebaited here. |
2018-12-12 |
|
| 1190 |
I feel like I'm losing 50 IQ points per text. |
2020-04-12 |
|
| 820 |
I feel like they could have splurged on more than one X texture. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 1115 |
I feel like we're just kicking the can up the stack. |
2019-07-31 |
|
| 249 |
I felt the micro-aggression involved in the statement |
2017-10-15 |
|
| 878 |
I get more grumpy as I get tired, too. |
2018-10-20 |
|
| 1162 |
I give them an 8 out of 10 at trying to be Apple, packaging-wise. |
2019-12-03 |
|
| 832 |
I gotta go to the bathroom and commence a drop operation. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 269 |
I guess I should get a lot better at dodging rocks. |
2017-12-26 |
|
| 537 |
I guess indie game developers can't program anymore so you never see them programming. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 1135 |
I had a plan. And a canal. Panama! |
2019-08-12 |
|
| 1225 |
I hate to say it, we're going to have to delete our deletions, and start over. |
2020-05-02 |
|
| 446 |
I have a $4000 computer, faster than any other computer in history, and we can't display text of all colors. |
2018-06-01 |
|
| 471 |
I have no problem spending months of work on something then taking it out later... In my opinion that's part of how you make things good. |
2018-06-06 |
|
| 1127 |
I have no respect for linkers. |
2019-08-05 |
|
| 59 |
I have some things to say to Mr. OpenGL, and they're not happy nice things. |
2017-02-02 |
|
| 353 |
I have this Notch here, so that's handy. |
2018-02-13 |
|
| 268 |
I have very finely honed coconut detection |
2017-12-25 |
|
| 1018 |
I heard C++ is a character in the next Mortal Kombat game, so have fun with that. |
2019-01-27 |
|
| 1167 |
I heard that Apple is doing okay, financially. I'm not sure if that's true. |
2019-12-09 |
|
| 739 |
I hope my streaming audience is entertained. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 921 |
I just don't play games for 12 year olds, so I'm not used to it. |
2018-11-18 |
|
| 278 |
I just had to set the bozo bit on a couple of people and stop replying to them. |
2018-01-10 |
|
| 109 |
I just have no idea. I'm ready to just give up and throw all my computers out the window. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 93 |
I just see a bunch of crap here. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 113 |
I just shouldn't have streamed today, because I'm too stupid today, period. |
2017-03-26 |
|
| 204 |
I just spilled tea on myself, which means it's time to end. |
2017-08-05 |
|
| 1108 |
I just think I've been programming too much lately, because my brain literally was not even on for the past hour. |
2019-07-30 |
|
| 405 |
I just turned the rant meter up to 10, and I'll burn out the rant batteries if I start talking about the Web. |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 730 |
I just wanna play a game. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1323 |
I just want to compile a program. This is the simplest thing in programming. If you can't compile a program, you can't do programming. |
2020-10-04 |
|
| 931 |
I just wanted a little more... you know, nade-age. |
2018-11-22 |
|
| 1176 |
I just wanted to do work today, and this is how computers reward me for that. |
2020-03-19 |
|
| 1298 |
I kind of feel like the year 2021 is the year for a Pepsiman remake. |
2020-07-01 |
|
| 1036 |
I know how to program! I went to two week coding boot camp! |
2019-02-28 |
|
| 757 |
I know you're supposed to use the wrist straps, but I'm not gonna use the wrist straps. I mean, come on. |
2018-10-01 |
|
| 111 |
I know! I know! I know! |
2017-03-26 |
|
| 66 |
I learned Mips assembly in college. That's some good stuff. Sort of. |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 137 |
I like when a game doesn't put HUD crapplets. |
2017-06-06 |
|
| 154 |
I liked The Witness. That was pretty good. |
2017-07-22 |
|
| 321 |
I literally don't know how this is possible. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 1299 |
I mean I kind of 10% of the way want to make a Pepsiman sequel now. |
2020-07-01 |
|
| 1308 |
I mean Visual Studio is bad, but VSCode is like playschool Visual Studio. Like, I don't... I don't even... |
2020-08-29 |
|
| 1395 |
I mean, there's nothing wrong with a job at Applebees, that's real work. But if you wanted to be programming, it's not ideal. |
2021-02-24 |
|
| 1454 |
I mean, we would do Cowabunga, but due to a conspiracy, several of the letters in Cowabunga were not approved for use in hexadecimal number encoding. |
2023-07-12 |
|
| 1146 |
I mean, who doesn't want a game where you slalom flowers? |
2019-09-02 |
|
| 999 |
I might have to stop and be contemplative... while I'm debugging. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 543 |
I might want to go and #define DO_NOT_COMPILE_THIS_RIGHT_NOW_PLEASE in my list of defines. I can't do that if we're #if 0. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 264 |
I missed the wall |
2017-12-25 |
|
| 121 |
I need a better anti-dude thing. |
2017-05-15 |
|
| 1083 |
I need a separate streaming PC. Windows is so bad, that you can't actually run multiple programs on the same computer. |
2019-07-21 |
|
| 1032 |
I need angry fruit salad. Can't program without angry fruit salad!! |
2019-02-27 |
|
| 1240 |
I need brain chai. |
2020-05-07 |
|
| 1021 |
I need gems more than they need a working spaceship. |
2019-02-04 |
|
| 52 |
I need more snack surface area. |
2017-02-01 |
|
| 267 |
I need to earn some blocks by watching ads. |
2017-12-25 |
|
| 36 |
I need to not use concave symmetric pot. |
2017-01-22 |
|
| 1260 |
I need to set the bozo bit on myself because my gradient doesn't work. |
2020-06-07 |
|
| 559 |
I only have to get 300 times as many viewers, and I'll be a famous streamer. |
2018-09-02 |
|
| 771 |
I paid $4000 for this thing. It shouldn't be a piece of shit. |
2018-10-11 |
|
| 244 |
I potato'd on him! |
2017-09-25 |
|
| 794 |
I potato'd, he potato'd. I won the War of the Potatoes. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 406 |
I read Hacker News sometimes when I'm depressed and unmotivated and then I read a bunch of dumb things and regret going on Hacker News. |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 1209 |
I see how you could disagree. You'd be wrong, but I see how you could disagree. |
2020-04-26 |
|
| 812 |
I should have 'naded! |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 78 |
I should put this here. Because I'm stupid. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 502 |
I should read the instructions. |
2018-08-10 |
|
| 579 |
I should rename it the All-Inclusive Diversity Lounge. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 336 |
I should've done better. |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 1387 |
I started doing it at 4 in the morning, so you know it's high quality work. |
2021-02-15 |
|
| 357 |
I tend not to watch stuff about me because it's weird. |
2018-04-01 |
|
| 122 |
I tend to want the game to start when I start playing the game. |
2017-05-15 |
|
| 1319 |
I think I drink more tea than any other being in the universe. |
2020-09-30 |
|
| 467 |
I think a little bit of syntactic highlighting is useful, but the fruit salad that most editors put up is not useful. |
2018-06-06 |
|
| 607 |
I think it's breakfast time, which is kind of like Miller Time for the morning. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 1282 |
I think that if your IQ is less than 7, you will have a hard time finishing the game. I think that is a true statement. An IQ of more than 7 is not a guarantee of finishing the game, because as we know, standardized tests do not exactly correlate with real world performance, so... |
2020-06-28 |
|
| 1149 |
I think the next feature is we hang out in chat for a little bit. |
2019-10-02 |
|
| 1093 |
I think we need to burn the web down and start over. |
2019-07-26 |
|
| 1000 |
I think you're scraping the bottom of the barrel to get quotes just to get to a thousand. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 826 |
I thought that'd be the last collapse, but apparently instabilities were detected, and that causes collapse to occur. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 304 |
I totally potatoed on that guy. |
2018-01-28 |
|
| 1398 |
I tried to go to the GL Pixel store and buy the right pixels. |
2021-02-25 |
|
| 399 |
I tried to sign up for Twitch affiliate but the webpage kept rejecting me because of a bug. |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 1450 |
I trust that as far as I can throw it. Because it's just bits, I can't throw it very far. |
2023-07-03 |
|
| 1357 |
I turn 20 next year and I have an excellent memory. ... I totally lost my train of thought of why I was saying that. but I was saying it for a reason. |
2020-11-30 |
|
| 489 |
I used to program in INTERCAL, back before these weak-ass languages that they have today. |
2018-07-29 |
|
| 801 |
I usually think college students don't know anything about game design. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 707 |
I wanna make some little graphy-poos for those. |
2018-09-25 |
|
| 365 |
I want all backends to get this benefit. |
2018-05-11 |
|
| 692 |
I want my money back for a crappy programming language that doesn't know Smapple. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 693 |
I want my money back. What a crappy programming language. It doesn't know smaple. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 524 |
I want to call a function called TellMeWhereTheGoddamnLibrariesAreYouIdiot() and it just tells me. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 311 |
I want to get practice at winning. |
2018-01-31 |
|
| 1306 |
I was wondering why chat was reasonably pleasant. |
2020-08-29 |
|
| 259 |
I wasn't in the mood for a bug this hard today. |
2017-12-03 |
|
| 362 |
I wish I could enhance Windows, really. |
2018-04-01 |
|
| 875 |
I wish I could trot slightly faster. |
2018-10-20 |
|
| 1188 |
I wish I had some parameters I could tweak that were the make-it-look-good parameters. |
2020-04-05 |
|
| 869 |
I wonder if Amazon sells one-page books? |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 1128 |
I wonder if I'm getting sick. I don't want to give any of you guys my germs over the internet. |
2019-08-11 |
|
| 1241 |
I would almost rather be programming in buttlang than C++ right now. |
2020-05-09 |
|
| 1193 |
I"ve never seen an indie game with colored beams. [/sarc] |
2020-04-12 |
|
| 1064 |
I'll check it out. Except they reviewed it on Polygon, so maybe I shouldn't play it. |
2019-04-17 |
|
| 3 |
I'll crop it out in OBS. |
2016-03-17 |
|
| 1201 |
I'll get really annoyed and fire everybody and shut down the company and cancel all the games. |
2020-04-18 |
|
| 184 |
I'll take 9 mil. I could make a substantial game with 9 mil. |
2017-07-26 |
|
| 958 |
I'm Batman. |
2018-12-09 |
|
| 631 |
I'm Rambo. |
2018-09-15 |
|
| 1165 |
I'm a computer scientist gamer for life and I can't buy a music pack from Steam. |
2019-12-07 |
|
| 822 |
I'm a stupid stupid. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 582 |
I'm annoyed that I have so much work to do and people are saying "why don't you do a bunch more work sooner than you did it?" |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 305 |
I'm checking poopy butthole |
2018-01-28 |
|
| 333 |
I'm doing forensic science to figure out how to create a fucking process. |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 1227 |
I'm dying of old age while we're waiting for a breakpoint to hit. |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 797 |
I'm finally learning how to not be the worst player in the universe. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 597 |
I'm gettin hungry, and we're not gonna be done streaming anytime soon. So we're going to have to pop out some UberEATS before all the stores close and we're stuck in post-apocalyptic situations, like... foodless terror. |
2018-09-04 |
|
| 429 |
I'm getting flashbacks to college when I would spend entire 8 hour sessions late at night dealing with %PATH% problems. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 658 |
I'm glad you guys are so interested in programming that you're talking about race relations and Israel. |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 258 |
I'm going insane. I'm as insane as a Linux person deploying a containerized application. |
2017-11-29 |
|
| 842 |
I'm going to Dabtown. |
2018-10-16 |
|
| 16 |
I'm going to make a farming game called "farming sucks" |
2016-05-16 |
|
| 383 |
I'm going to take the drinks I bought out of the freezer before they turn into exploding ice blocks. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 907 |
I'm gonna bang this guy when I come in. |
2018-10-24 |
|
| 196 |
I'm gonna dead. I'm dead. |
2017-07-30 |
|
| 787 |
I'm gonna get kicked out of videogames soon if I don't pick it up. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 987 |
I'm gonna go into 2019 in a good mood. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 679 |
I'm gonna need some tea to attack the particle problem. |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 201 |
I'm gonna tell whoever's working on Sokoban to fix that. |
2017-08-04 |
|
| 347 |
I'm gonna write pens on my todo list... "Pens that feel better when you cross things out." |
2018-02-10 |
|
| 246 |
I'm gonna write this down then I'll think about what to think about them |
2017-10-01 |
|
| 215 |
I'm havin' a good time programming reasonably clean things, and I just don't wanna descend into that horrible place. |
2017-08-10 |
|
| 14 |
I'm in Dear Esther all of a sudden. |
2016-05-14 |
|
| 1053 |
I'm just gonna cancel everything and stop programming. |
2019-04-11 |
|
| 359 |
I'm like 3 problems deep at this point. But you know what, it's okay. I'm learning. |
2018-04-01 |
|
| 73 |
I'm much happier programming in this language. |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 1156 |
I'm not a fan of cancel culture, but undefined behavior culture needs to get cancelled by cancel culture. |
2019-11-17 |
|
| 911 |
I'm not a hide-in-the-bathroom player. |
2018-11-12 |
|
| 766 |
I'm not a professional benchmarker. |
2018-10-04 |
|
| 1094 |
I'm not going to beg people to use the language. I'm going to make it the best thing to use for many applications, and then smart people will use it. The end. |
2019-07-26 |
|
| 517 |
I'm not going to let Linux drag this language down to mediocrity. |
2018-08-27 |
|
| 33 |
I'm not gonna debate anybody about these topics. |
2017-01-22 |
|
| 1078 |
I'm not in any secret societies that I know of. If I'm in one, it's so secret that I'm not knowing that I'm in it. That would be pretty cool, right: You start a society that's so secret you induct people against their knowledge. |
2019-05-11 |
|
| 572 |
I'm not sure I like this, what I'm typing. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 612 |
I'm not sure that trying to give people positive reinforcement about programming is the right thing. Really the right thing is having grit to figure out why what you're doing is wrong, and stupid, and how you can be better and smarter about it. That's the thing that young people need to learn about programming. All these public initiatives are being pushed by people who don't know anything about programming themselves. |
2018-09-07 |
|
| 574 |
I'm not sure why this works, actually. I mean I know why it works, but I don't know why it didn't work before. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 901 |
I'm not that much of a school guy. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 893 |
I'm not that prepared for loose-leaf prep EXCEPT for my extravagant tea setup. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 716 |
I'm not trying to be Unity here because Unity is slow like a butt. |
2018-09-29 |
|
| 447 |
I'm now calling this the Christmas Programming Language. |
2018-06-01 |
|
| 1077 |
I'm offended by how crappy that was. |
2019-05-11 |
|
| 733 |
I'm out of shape. Out of Beat Saber shape. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1362 |
I'm planting the succeeds of my success in the game industry. If you want to succeed in the game industry, YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE FILE!! You have to save the file. That is pretty much a hundred percent guaranteed prerequisite. |
2020-12-06 |
|
| 523 |
I'm pretty sure that Zig code was stack-overflow in origin. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 190 |
I'm really sorry for anyone who came along and wanted a coherent stream. |
2017-07-27 |
|
| 266 |
I'm smoking crack. |
2017-12-25 |
|
| 1205 |
I'm smoking crack. |
2020-04-20 |
|
| 673 |
I'm so fed up with computers at this point. |
2018-09-21 |
|
| 1062 |
I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that. Args out of range. |
2019-04-16 |
|
| 1312 |
I'm sorry, but I'm too busy working on a compiler to invent Wonka Vision. |
2020-09-23 |
|
| 444 |
I'm sorry, if you're working in Unity, you're not doing the Dark Souls of programming. You're doing, like, the I Wanna Be The Guy of programming, but the Dark Souls of programming is something different. |
2018-05-31 |
|
| 503 |
I'm still not exapunking. |
2018-08-10 |
|
| 255 |
I'm super confused. I haven't had my tea yet. |
2017-11-28 |
|
| 1283 |
I'm sure glad I waited a month to fix that! |
2020-06-28 |
|
| 698 |
I'm sure glad my GPU can fill pixels. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 722 |
I'm sure we're reaching the bottom of the barrel but there are many pages after this. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 525 |
I'm sure you know how to add. That's practical math! |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 1420 |
I'm too high for this pegging. |
2021-10-01 |
|
| 659 |
I'm trying to do work here, Microsoft. |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 301 |
I'm trying to learn the controls and you cutscene'd my ass. |
2018-01-27 |
|
| 1020 |
I'm using my brilliant that would have won the Peloponnesian War! |
2019-02-04 |
|
| 556 |
I'm vaguely remembering that there's a thing called wcstrlen(). It's like W. C. Fields. |
2018-09-01 |
|
| 1120 |
I've always wanted to level up on a streaming channel. |
2019-08-02 |
|
| 616 |
I've basically set the bozo bit on Vulkan. |
2018-09-07 |
|
| 1191 |
I've been running out of my favorite flavors of quarantea. |
2020-04-12 |
|
| 375 |
I've been using Visual Studio since 1996. 22 years. It's pretty sad. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 116 |
I've given up trying to understand OpenGL. |
2017-03-26 |
|
| 1031 |
I've made that bug before. |
2019-02-25 |
|
| 1057 |
I've never seen Agile end in the mass murder of millions of people, but maybe that is yet to happen. |
2019-04-13 |
|
| 440 |
I've vacillated on this several times, and we're gonna make it 32-bit. |
2018-05-31 |
|
| 335 |
If I allowed myself to be angry I would be so angry right now. |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 209 |
If I can continually become a better programmer, then getting fat is a small price to pay. |
2017-08-07 |
|
| 1269 |
If I can't make games anymore because I'm going senile, we had a good run. |
2020-06-12 |
|
| 1371 |
If I decide to make ill-advised purchases later, I'll get three of those. |
2021-01-19 |
|
| 442 |
If I don't do this right, programs crash. |
2018-05-31 |
|
| 904 |
If I had found a weapon that was on the blockchain that time, I think I really would have owned that guy. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 1023 |
If I hadn't played video games until 3 in the morning, I probably would have done that right the first time. |
2019-02-06 |
|
| 1396 |
If I were writing games, I would definitely write them in INTERCAL and not C++. |
2021-02-24 |
|
| 1117 |
If I'm this dumb, and I can still make compilers, anybody can. |
2019-08-01 |
|
| 965 |
If You Don't Atan2, This Industry Does Not Need You. |
2018-12-12 |
|
| 687 |
If anybody does not agree with this union please speak out now. |
2018-09-23 |
|
| 495 |
If anyone in chat works for Microsoft, just quit. Stop watching, you're not allowed to watch the stream. Log off now. Just don't watch Twitch at all, go watch Mixer. |
2018-07-31 |
|
| 307 |
If he shot through the wall, that's kind of offensive, honestly. |
2018-01-29 |
|
| 846 |
If it comes down to going on a scavenger hunt or chicken dinnering, I'm gonna chicken dinner. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 1049 |
If it doesn't have an underscore, you're not doing data oriented design. |
2019-04-06 |
|
| 1352 |
If it doesn't solve a real problem, you don't want to do it. |
2020-11-29 |
|
| 1055 |
If it's the Hacker News trend of the week, I don't know what it is. |
2019-04-12 |
|
| 1107 |
If only this program had been written in Rust and used goroutines, this wouldn't have happened. |
2019-07-30 |
|
| 623 |
If someone gave me a C++ test, I probably wouldn't do very well. |
2018-09-14 |
|
| 102 |
If that doesn't make sense, then, well, learn some linear algebra cause it's cool. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 1095 |
If the Romans made the fricken internet, it wouldn't go down like this all the time! |
2019-07-23 |
|
| 544 |
If the mouse fails, then we have to cancel the project. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 977 |
If there is no constructor then clearly... etc.! |
2018-12-25 |
|
| 1271 |
If there's one thing that there's not enough of on the internet and that we need more of it's memes. There just aren't enough memes. |
2020-06-16 |
|
| 130 |
If these robots were real animals, there'd be NO way I'd be sneaking around them. Fortunately, these robots run Linux. |
2017-05-25 |
|
| 38 |
If this were my game, you'd see this by looking out of the... Ah! |
2017-01-22 |
|
| 1109 |
If we all had a little bit less Microsoft software in our lives, and a little more pizza, everybody would be happier. |
2019-07-31 |
|
| 1132 |
If you build your entire game around Unity, or in Unity, then you aren't making progress towards making your own game engine. |
2019-08-12 |
|
| 990 |
If you can win at Zachtronics games, you know what efficient parallelism is like. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 1448 |
If you got no cowabunga, how are you gonna get anywhere in life? |
2023-05-01 |
|
| 1335 |
If you guys are not willing to read this much, this programming language is not for you. |
2020-10-28 |
|
| 45 |
If you guys don't know what "Hello, Sailor" is then you need to learn some video game history. |
2017-01-27 |
|
| 883 |
If you have no reason to use Euler angles, then don't. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 1445 |
If you have your caps-lock key bound to caps-lock, you're not a serious programmer. |
2022-12-10 |
|
| 1250 |
If you just keep doing nuggets, you will succeed in the game industry, almost guaranteed. Just nuggets. You just keep nuggeting. |
2020-05-28 |
|
| 1338 |
If you know the z-whatevering algorithm, you've pretty much mastered video games. |
2020-10-30 |
|
| 279 |
If you look on Wikipedia at the graph somebody made of all the Linux forks over time, you just look at that and say, "What a giant waste of effort." |
2018-01-10 |
|
| 845 |
If you mess with people in this game, you better kill 'em. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 29 |
If you program like this... go work at Microsoft or something. |
2016-09-01 |
|
| 1143 |
If you really wanna weight lift, you should eat a lot of pizzas. |
2019-08-20 |
|
| 1214 |
If you start doing modern template meta-programming to do the equivalent of this, you're going to have a un-understandable disaster very quickly. |
2020-05-01 |
|
| 1161 |
If you think that sounds reasonable, you already have Stockholm syndrome. |
2019-12-02 |
|
| 129 |
If you use goto, you sign the warranty that you know what you're doing. |
2017-05-25 |
|
| 1270 |
If you wanna succeed in the game industry, call update_hefts(). Don't just call update_nudges(). That's not good enough. |
2020-06-14 |
|
| 1386 |
If you wanna succeed in the game industry, don't drop your 'optional' on the floor. |
2021-02-11 |
|
| 726 |
If you want one atom of pizza each, I think that can be arranged. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1294 |
If you want to be a good programmer, use the speed parameter. And I don't mean snort speed... |
2020-07-15 |
|
| 168 |
If you want to go from a typical programmer to a good programmer, the most important thing to learn is weighing costs vs benefits. |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 1374 |
If you want to succeed in the gains industry, you gotta git gud. |
2021-01-21 |
|
| 1366 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, after you do the pop-count you should store the result in the target register, otherwise it will not be correct. |
2020-12-17 |
|
| 1301 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, call update(). |
2020-08-05 |
|
| 1212 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, capitalize the letter 'K'. |
2020-04-28 |
|
| 1215 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, compile your compiler before you compile your thing with your compiler. |
2020-05-01 |
|
| 1369 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not mess up the rotates. It will not result in success. |
2021-01-15 |
|
| 1324 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. |
2020-10-14 |
|
| 1321 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, do not rip-a-rooni. |
2020-10-01 |
|
| 1458 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't ask for advice and then duck out of the stream when the answer comes. |
2023-12-27 |
|
| 1377 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't be a lose. |
2021-01-26 |
|
| 1314 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't be a zero. |
2020-09-24 |
|
| 1424 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't program in the wrong language. |
2021-11-03 |
|
| 1216 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't put the next instruction in the middle of the current instruction. |
2020-04-30 |
|
| 1268 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, don't ship a game where the players see purple 'X's. |
2020-06-11 |
|
| 1256 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, edit the input file not the output file. |
2020-06-03 |
|
| 1343 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, fail. |
2020-11-15 |
|
| 1421 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, implement and increment the loop variable. Do both of those things. |
2021-10-09 |
|
| 1397 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, it is not enough to merely create an init function...you gotta call it. |
2021-02-25 |
|
| 1346 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, just know someone that has three million dollars and walks up to you and says "Here, have three million dollars." And you go "Okay, thank you." .. Actually no, that's not really, .. cause most people would proceed to completely lose the three million dollars. That's not how it actually works. |
2020-11-27 |
|
| 1196 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, just succeed in the game industry. |
2020-04-15 |
|
| 1345 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, know someone who has 3 million dollars. |
2020-11-27 |
|
| 1289 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, make your arguments arguments, and not return values. |
2020-06-27 |
|
| 1363 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, name your flags the right thing. |
2020-12-06 |
|
| 1359 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, program better than I do. Alright? That's all I have to say. |
2020-12-01 |
|
| 1273 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the 'u' in 'guy'. Put the 'U' in 'GUY! |
2020-06-18 |
|
| 1239 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the binary [in the distribution]. |
2020-05-05 |
|
| 1331 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, put the code that's supposed to be outside the loop, outside the loop. Do you understand? |
2020-10-19 |
|
| 1315 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, return an integer. |
2020-09-24 |
|
| 1252 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, use both the i and j coordinates, don't just use the j coordinate, 'cause then your river won't flow in the right places. |
2020-05-30 |
|
| 1277 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, write the code. All of it. All of it, not just part of it. |
2020-06-22 |
|
| 1275 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, you have to make it so that you actually have to blow up the block to get to the exit. |
2020-06-20 |
|
| 1263 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, you have to remove the "times five hundred". |
2020-06-08 |
|
| 1304 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry, you need to do more than comment. You need to actually write. |
2020-08-19 |
|
| 1342 |
If you want to succeed in the game industry..... ahhhh |
2020-11-15 |
|
| 1364 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry use the flag word that you meant to use, not the other one. |
2020-12-15 |
|
| 1453 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, ... you gotta change the name of the symbol. |
2023-07-12 |
|
| 1244 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not forget the body arrow. |
2020-05-10 |
|
| 1413 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not leave your very important results in a local variable. |
2021-07-14 |
|
| 1406 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, do not put return instead of continue. |
2021-04-25 |
|
| 1330 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't files=1. |
2020-10-18 |
|
| 1355 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't typo the thing that you're searching for. |
2020-11-30 |
|
| 1439 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, don't work for Adobe. |
2022-10-13 |
|
| 1409 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, multiply by x. |
2021-05-31 |
|
| 1402 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, pass the parameter. |
2021-03-16 |
|
| 1427 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, push the whopper button. |
2022-01-15 |
|
| 1410 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, sometimes you have to drive to the office at midnight. |
2021-06-02 |
|
| 1334 |
If you want to succeed in the games industry, you have to be ready to snack. |
2020-10-24 |
|
| 1449 |
If you want to succeed in the programming industry, eat ice cream. |
2023-05-22 |
|
| 1278 |
If you want to succeed the game industry don't leave the teapot spout whistler thing open or else it won't whistle. |
2020-06-22 |
|
| 596 |
If you want to succeed, do not compile the debug build and run the release build. They don't teach you that in school. |
2018-09-04 |
|
| 1438 |
If you were Mickey Rooney, how would you debug this program? |
2022-10-13 |
|
| 180 |
If you win, you get a copy of my painter game prototype. |
2017-07-26 |
|
| 1234 |
If you're a JavaScript programmer who works at Facebook you're going to be fired in ten years, so it doesn't matter. |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 1442 |
If you're going to Pomodoro, 150 minutes is a pretty good interval period. I don't know what people recommend usually. I think it's a couple minutes less than a hundred and fifty. |
2022-11-30 |
|
| 1130 |
If you're going to be a bad programmer, be a bad programmer like the kind that never do anything, because then your bad code can never get out and damage things in the world. Be like that kind of bad. |
2019-08-11 |
|
| 1248 |
If you're not ignoring most of C++, you're doing it wrong. |
2020-05-28 |
|
| 1242 |
If you're smart, you might never be as bad as JavaScript, but you don't want any java cooties ... you don't want those in your language. |
2020-05-09 |
|
| 1325 |
If you've ever been volunteered to clean up the kitchen after a long night at the range, go ahead and smash that subscribe button. |
2020-10-15 |
|
| 980 |
If your code doesn't have some Mega Warnings in it, it's not good. |
2018-12-26 |
|
| 967 |
If your number is smaller than 100 million, I'm not impressed. |
2018-12-20 |
|
| 1340 |
In Europe they also don't know what ice tea is, so you can't trust Europeans about food. |
2020-11-01 |
|
| 1411 |
In real life, I know if I'm doing well or not by whether a space whale swims by. That's how I know. |
2021-06-20 |
|
| 1194 |
In that way that the universe is complicated and surprising and will mess you up, we can't just do that. |
2020-04-12 |
|
| 552 |
In the end, everyone is just running around on giant hamster wheels. That is what modern software is like. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 763 |
In the old days there would be a hardware button and the on button would mean the computer was in an on state. These days nobody wants to make computers that anyone knows how to use. |
2018-10-04 |
|
| 1404 |
In the year 2021 people expect to be able to make arrays of strings in their programming language. I don't know why. I don't know why they think that, but they do. |
2021-03-26 |
|
| 592 |
Instantiables are kinda like Lunchables. |
2018-09-04 |
|
| 841 |
Is Drax somebody who dabs? |
2018-10-16 |
|
| 808 |
Is it like a revolver? More like a suckvolver. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 600 |
Is my whole life a lie? |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 211 |
Is somebody doubting that I do things in a quality way? What kind of people are you? |
2017-08-08 |
|
| 668 |
Isn't it great when stuff works the first time? |
2018-09-21 |
|
| 65 |
Isn't it neat how you can just make things by typing code? |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 718 |
Isn't that a crappy game? ...Why do I think that? |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1455 |
Isn't that interesting how much of making your programming thing successful in the world is propaganda and mind control? Like you make this called smart pointers, and because people want to be smart and don't want to look dumb, everybody says, "Yeah, I like smart pointers", whereas if you had called them smelly-foot pointers, people probably wouldn't want to use them really. |
2023-07-14 |
|
| 591 |
It doesn't matter that he's a great guy, he's writing in Javascript. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 1073 |
It looks like it's for 14 year olds, and if you're 14, that's fine. |
2019-05-07 |
|
| 1383 |
It looks so bad! It's like a web developer that made this font. |
2021-02-07 |
|
| 218 |
It says "one return value received", which I disagree with. |
2017-08-11 |
|
| 626 |
It sounds like they already have too many problems, why are they adding more? But whatever, I'll read the thing. |
2018-09-14 |
|
| 532 |
It took substantial archaeology to write this. We aren't even doing anything yet. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 27 |
It wants strings and it's trying to pass guys. |
2016-09-01 |
|
| 31 |
It works if we don't hit that bug. |
2017-01-21 |
|
| 564 |
It's 40% too long! Cancel the compiler! |
2018-09-02 |
|
| 263 |
It's Portal. |
2017-12-23 |
|
| 1192 |
It's The Talos Laser. |
2020-04-12 |
|
| 723 |
It's VR dancing girls again. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 767 |
It's a benchmark program that takes 10 minutes to load system info. |
2018-10-04 |
|
| 678 |
It's a big party in the Animation Feature Festival Townhouse Place. |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 167 |
It's a pretty janky game technically, but sometimes, games succeed despite their problems. |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 20 |
It's a problem, first of all, because it just doesn't work in windows. |
2016-07-25 |
|
| 340 |
It's a small difference but it's a big difference, see? |
2018-02-06 |
|
| 933 |
It's absolutely ridiculous. It's the Chronicles of Ridic. |
2018-11-22 |
|
| 1009 |
It's all flat design, because it's the year 2020. |
2019-01-06 |
|
| 213 |
It's all working, I could swear I'm not joking. |
2017-08-08 |
|
| 1091 |
It's amazing how much of programming is realizing you didn't save the file correctly before you go off on a half hour debugging spree. That saves you so much time! |
2019-07-26 |
|
| 1452 |
It's because I didn't put a semicolon. We just fixed 500 errors by putting a semicolon because C++. |
2023-07-12 |
|
| 127 |
It's been 25 years since I've used scheme... and that is intentional. |
2017-05-25 |
|
| 228 |
It's beyond redonkadonk. Which is even farther than Beyond Zork. |
2017-08-14 |
|
| 19 |
It's easy to have weird notions. |
2016-07-25 |
|
| 625 |
It's frankly horseshit. |
2018-09-14 |
|
| 212 |
It's gamma'd wrong again. |
2017-08-08 |
|
| 1122 |
It's going to be HUUUUUUUGE, like the Mexican border wall! |
2019-08-02 |
|
| 955 |
It's gonna get Team Fortress'd. |
2018-12-08 |
|
| 1436 |
It's got the Mona Lisa on it, that's how you know it's good. |
2022-08-28 |
|
| 830 |
It's hard to be a good technology when you're built on a giant pile of poo, so good luck. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 617 |
It's in Javascript, that's an instant no. "React Native TDD," that's two instant nos at the same time. |
2018-09-07 |
|
| 373 |
It's inferred, bro. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 11 |
It's just a carnival of lose. |
2016-05-07 |
|
| 1394 |
It's just like any other thing in programming, there's an infinite amount of work that could go into improving it. |
2021-02-23 |
|
| 294 |
It's like I'm using Linux here. |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 1175 |
It's like Twitch wants to be Idiocracy. |
2020-02-02 |
|
| 670 |
It's like a Greg Egan game where the characters inhabit a space that works differently from our 3D notions. |
2018-09-21 |
|
| 376 |
It's like a freshman web designer intern making a mistake, and they just keep doing it. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 473 |
It's like chewing glass for months. |
2018-06-07 |
|
| 809 |
It's like climate change, it's never gonna happen. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 954 |
It's like famous Hollywood actor Carl Weathers says: "Now you've got a tea going." |
2018-12-08 |
|
| 837 |
It's like indie game voice acting in here. |
2018-10-16 |
|
| 1154 |
It's like this, but it's not like this. |
2019-10-20 |
|
| 432 |
It's not as robust, but it makes me not hate myself. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 1426 |
It's not enough in the games industry to pass the parameter, you also have to use the parameter. |
2021-11-25 |
|
| 952 |
It's not hard to beat Emacs. |
2018-12-04 |
|
| 445 |
It's not in Lua. Our standards have fallen so low. |
2018-05-31 |
|
| 897 |
It's not just zero, it's 0x0000000000000000. Cursor is very close to that, it's 0x0000000000000001. They should compare about equal in if statements and stuff. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 663 |
It's okay, since you guys know I've been building my career as a pro gaming streamer. |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 752 |
It's pretending I have choices. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1373 |
It's probably very simple, and therefore will take five hours to find. |
2021-01-21 |
|
| 97 |
It's the Barack Obama scroll. Yes we can. ...No, if this were a Donald Trump scroll, we wouldn't have all that UTF-8 work we did, so you couldn't print Korean and stuff. We would be able to print Russian, though. |
2017-02-07 |
|
| 880 |
It's the most pixelated game of 2018. |
2018-10-20 |
|
| 717 |
It's the opposite of what I just said. This isn't going on Youtube. |
2018-09-29 |
|
| 540 |
It's the worst idea in a long time. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 1010 |
It's the year 2020. Everything is flat now, 'cause that's the universe we live in. |
2019-01-06 |
|
| 1233 |
It's the year two-thousand and twenty. I have a new desktop PC which was delivered to me in the year two-thousand and twenty that cost $3000 at least and I can't edit, in emacs, in real-time a file that's half a megabyte. I'm not talking about pasting half a megabyte. I'm taking about pasting ten characters into the middle of half a megabyte. Dude, I can copy half a megabyte I don't know how many frames per second, [..] but it's a lot of frames per second. This software is so broken! |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 151 |
It's time to just quit game programming and play Knack. |
2017-07-21 |
|
| 711 |
It's totally a dancing game! |
2018-09-25 |
|
| 854 |
It's very easy to backseat game. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 708 |
It's working fine, it's just that we told it to not work. |
2018-09-25 |
|
| 247 |
Java is designed to be a boring programming language. |
2017-10-04 |
|
| 222 |
JavaScript is basically the worst thing that's happened to computers. Ever. |
2017-08-12 |
|
| 1382 |
JavaScript pays your bills for now? Yes, but it doesn't pay for the sadness you'll feel in twenty years when you look back and say, "I could have been a contender." |
2021-02-07 |
|
| 1104 |
Joe Rogan gets at least 250 people for each podcast. |
2019-07-30 |
|
| 172 |
Just don't get hit and shoot people. |
2017-07-25 |
|
| 1353 |
Just learn to talk like a robot, and you too can write compiler error messages. |
2020-11-29 |
|
| 924 |
Just like CNN, we're gonna call the results of the election before all the votes have been tallied. |
2018-11-18 |
|
| 1112 |
Just make things good before you release them, bro. |
2019-07-31 |
|
| 1354 |
Kids, don't use macros. They're dangerous. |
2020-11-30 |
|
| 810 |
Kill his ass, please! |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 221 |
Kinda like JavaScript except, unlike JavaScript, we're not pretending to be a real programming language, so that's ok. |
2017-08-12 |
|
| 858 |
King 177 Jaded Mamba, over. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 1059 |
LLVM stands for Long Looping Virtual Machine. |
2019-04-13 |
|
| 758 |
Ladies and gentlemen, the future of videogames. |
2018-10-01 |
|
| 369 |
Lambda is the snooty functional programming name for procedure. |
2018-05-25 |
|
| 783 |
Lancer, Prancer, and... Neuromancer out. |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 747 |
Let me cast my spells! |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 629 |
Let me check the Elite Frequent Flyer Secret Illuminati Lounge. |
2018-09-14 |
|
| 1058 |
Let me get a food, and then we'll continue programming. |
2019-04-13 |
|
| 26 |
Let's do something crazy. |
2016-08-23 |
|
| 1292 |
Let's face it, aioli IS mayonnaise, it's just pretending not to be. And it's just not as good as regular mayonnaise. |
2020-07-10 |
|
| 959 |
Let's get into trouble! |
2018-12-10 |
|
| 53 |
Let's get rid of that, that's more Windows floating around that we don't need. |
2017-02-01 |
|
| 521 |
Let's get stupid. I just wanna get stupid. |
2018-08-29 |
|
| 477 |
Let's go find some diamonds! |
2018-06-21 |
|
| 352 |
Let's just keep makin dudes, we know how to party here. |
2018-02-13 |
|
| 563 |
Let's lep at this for a second. |
2018-09-02 |
|
| 191 |
Let's nojobs it. |
2017-07-27 |
|
| 438 |
Let's not give in to the tired and lazy. |
2018-05-31 |
|
| 1129 |
Let's order a food. |
2019-08-11 |
|
| 978 |
Let's see if my laptop opens correctly... |
2018-12-25 |
|
| 1243 |
Let's see if this gets me banned from twitch. |
2020-05-09 |
|
| 1012 |
Let's start by being the change we want to see in the world. |
2019-01-06 |
|
| 6 |
Let's start glancing at it, then I'll show you something cool. |
2016-03-17 |
|
| 1189 |
Life has taught me that the masses have poor taste in many things, and if you just cater to what you think that taste is, you probably won't create things that are very special. |
2020-04-09 |
|
| 1101 |
Life is not a bowl of cherries, it is a plate of cherries. |
2019-07-29 |
|
| 200 |
Life is rough. |
2017-08-03 |
|
| 342 |
Linkers are dogbutt slow. |
2018-02-09 |
|
| 968 |
Literally I'm growing old RIGHT NOW. |
2018-12-22 |
|
| 478 |
Look at all those diamonds we have! |
2018-06-21 |
|
| 577 |
Look at how many mistakes you can make while programming! That is a tiny fraction of the number of mistakes you can make. ...Mistake #1 is programming in Javascript. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 92 |
Look at that. We're better than emacs. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 614 |
Look at the code. Look. Look at the code and see what it does. |
2018-09-07 |
|
| 833 |
Look, if somebody gave me 1 BILLION dollars to do something, it would not involve turning a real island into The Witness. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 690 |
Making games is a serious problem. |
2018-09-23 |
|
| 948 |
Man is not meant to drink chai through a straw. |
2018-12-02 |
|
| 1002 |
Man, if only I'd never cleaned this up, we wouldn't have introduced new bugs. |
2019-01-03 |
|
| 1123 |
Man, we made gains today. We drank our protein shake, and we made gains. |
2019-08-03 |
|
| 174 |
Man, who lives in this purple building? This is Prince's house. |
2017-07-25 |
|
| 803 |
Manipulate that answer to be appropriate to your life situation. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 852 |
Mankind must put an end to the war. That's why we're playing war games. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 944 |
Maximum public approval has never really been my goal. |
2018-11-28 |
|
| 1022 |
Maybe I should do something where I just, like, drop a nuke on the chat and ban everybody once in a while. That would be good. |
2019-02-06 |
|
| 32 |
Maybe I spilled water all over the floor. That's definitely possible. |
2017-01-22 |
|
| 62 |
Maybe I'm not killing it seriously enough. |
2017-02-03 |
|
| 71 |
Maybe I'm stupid all this week because I've been streaming so much. |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 1238 |
Maybe he was at a conference and kinda drunk when he said that. |
2020-05-05 |
|
| 254 |
Maybe if I run it a lot of times it'll work. |
2017-11-28 |
|
| 930 |
Maybe in Half-Life 3, Gordon Freeman is a firefighter. |
2018-11-22 |
|
| 43 |
Maybe it's time to blow this cheap taco stand. |
2017-01-25 |
|
| 945 |
Maybe people just need to have patience. It's not like they're waiting an hour for a cloud or something. |
2018-12-01 |
|
| 50 |
Maybe that just works. That didn't just work. |
2017-01-28 |
|
| 863 |
Maybe this should be Battle Royale Sokoban. I don't know how that would work exactly. |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 862 |
Maybe we should as a company just stop making video games and start making chicken dinner Youtube videos, and maybe that'll be better than making video games. |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 390 |
Maybe we're seeing the constance block a little too much, and we want to keep the relationship at a distance. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 265 |
Maybe you guys just don't like sausages enough? |
2017-12-25 |
|
| 284 |
Metaprogramming is the future and it solves all our problems, because going meta is always better! |
2018-01-13 |
|
| 1228 |
Microservices is one of those trendy things that in five years, people won't be doing anymore. |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 149 |
Microsoft has no respect for anything. |
2017-07-20 |
|
| 225 |
Microsoft has no respect for anything. |
2017-08-13 |
|
| 1429 |
Microsoft thinks that them updating Windows with things that I don't care about and probably will make my computer work worse and make it slower is more important than me getting work done and delivering value to the people. I think Microsoft is owned by Vladimir Putin at this point. |
2022-02-28 |
|
| 76 |
Middle of the bar goes where we are. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 400 |
Mistakes were made. I'm not saying by whom, I'm just saying mistakes are made. Certain kinds of people say "You know, there isn't really anything objectively right." Maybe I like it if my compiler just crashes. That's just my lived experience. |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 853 |
Mistakes were made. [Gets shot] Mistakes were further made. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 460 |
More cryptic is less cryptic sometimes. |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 155 |
More like Steam Early Poopcess. |
2017-07-22 |
|
| 1142 |
Most lines of code are pollution. |
2019-08-19 |
|
| 651 |
Most mice are too small for my hands. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 226 |
Most people are not self-critical and reality-based. |
2017-08-13 |
|
| 608 |
Most programmers are working at a very low percentage of efficiency. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 1207 |
Mouse-wheel to switch weapons is a crime against humanity. Don't ever do it if you make a game. |
2020-04-25 |
|
| 534 |
My eyes are glazing over already. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 1332 |
My favorite person in the games industry is Reverta Williams. |
2020-10-20 |
|
| 486 |
My food dude is 2 minutes away. |
2018-07-27 |
|
| 1182 |
My meat is culling incorrectly. |
2020-03-26 |
|
| 1075 |
My parents bought me a TRS-80 color computer. Best thing they ever did. |
2019-05-11 |
|
| 1026 |
My preferred keyboard is one that does not have a user experience. |
2019-02-23 |
|
| 41 |
My teapot decides to keep the water boiling by default. |
2017-01-25 |
|
| 1441 |
My will to live is rapidly leaving my body. |
2022-11-23 |
|
| 203 |
NaN creeps me out. |
2017-08-05 |
|
| 831 |
Netcall: This is a sitrep. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 937 |
Never thought I'd be a barber. |
2018-11-24 |
|
| 799 |
Never underestimate how little revenue a small game can make. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 421 |
Nevermind! My entire rant was misplaced. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 908 |
New York pizza is really bad. |
2018-11-12 |
|
| 1183 |
No hints! I'm trying to play the game as God intended. |
2020-03-27 |
|
| 942 |
No monsters were harmed in the making of this game. |
2018-11-24 |
|
| 941 |
No monsters were harmed in the making of this program. |
2018-11-24 |
|
| 1297 |
No wonder I'm so slow today. I'm at 30Hz. It's not going to go above 30. This is communist, guys. |
2020-07-19 |
|
| 1284 |
No! Infinity is not that high of a number. It's just seven, ef eight zero, zero zero zero zero. There's no Zeno's paradox there. Infinity is eight digits long guys. Eight digits! |
2020-06-29 |
|
| 1213 |
No, I need tea! How are we ever going to get back under fifty thousand [LOC] if I don't have tea? |
2020-05-01 |
|
| 23 |
Nobody at microsoft can program at this point. |
2016-08-23 |
|
| 64 |
Nobody's put the peanut butter in the chocolate very much. |
2017-02-04 |
|
| 1272 |
Normally I eat a lot of chocolate. I haven't done that lately because I'm traveling, but I might have to have some chocolate for tonight. I think it is good for the mind. |
2020-06-17 |
|
| 253 |
Not a long enough length to do what I'm doing with it. |
2017-11-27 |
|
| 712 |
Not everyone is an elite veteran ace frequent flyer game developer. |
2018-09-25 |
|
| 811 |
Not having dumpbin in my path is ass. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 557 |
Not programming because Microsoft made us want to quit all of programming for the rest of time and even retroactively back in time. |
2018-09-01 |
|
| 736 |
Not too Banksy. ...that was not Banksy enough. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 949 |
Now I did just say "Man was not meant to drink chai through a straw", but I kind of wonder, what if it was one of those Starbucks cookie straws. Would that then be a drinkable chai situation? I think it might be. |
2018-12-02 |
|
| 922 |
Now I'm wishing I'd ended on the "This is the last game" game. |
2018-11-18 |
|
| 314 |
Now K has a binding, mofo! |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 139 |
Now THAT is a commitable offence. |
2017-06-25 |
|
| 1434 |
Now if we were a smart web developer and were using JSON, it would take like 5 seconds to load 167MB JSON so we would notice that we were doing that every frame, but because we are fast game programmers, we don't even f**ing break a sweat loading a 167MB file so we are literally doing that every frame. |
2022-05-10 |
|
| 1417 |
Now we know how to play Myst! |
2021-08-28 |
|
| 371 |
Now we watch this die horribly. |
2018-05-25 |
|
| 539 |
Now you have access to the Elite Frequent Flyer Swank Lounge. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 1305 |
Null is not an option here. |
2020-08-29 |
|
| 622 |
OK, now we’re going to crash, because success is true, |
2018-09-12 |
|
| 1084 |
OMG This view bob is gonna drive me nuts. I think I'm going to be ill from this view bob. [...] OMG That was the worst view bob in the universe. |
2019-07-21 |
|
| 216 |
OMG... It worked! Oh, the language is gettin' good. |
2017-08-11 |
|
| 696 |
Occasional biggies, but mostly small. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 493 |
Ocean Map, take me by the hap, don't you understap... |
2018-07-31 |
|
| 770 |
Of course, since I'm an actual programmer and not like a Mac user, I turn off all the goofy gestures |
2018-10-11 |
|
| 241 |
Oh boy! There were earlier changes that I didn't check in. Well... They're checked in now! |
2017-08-18 |
|
| 219 |
Oh god!... Alright guys, this is gonna be brutal. |
2017-08-11 |
|
| 753 |
Oh god, it's totally Star Wars. |
2018-10-01 |
|
| 230 |
Oh god... Wow! You know, I'm tempted to just erase this all stream and pretend it never happened and start over tomorrow. |
2017-08-16 |
|
| 1076 |
Oh look at all these mangled names. They're so cute. |
2019-05-11 |
|
| 946 |
Oh my GOD! A global variable!! What the hell?!? |
2018-12-01 |
|
| 94 |
Oh my god Becky. Look at that scroll. |
2017-02-07 |
|
| 435 |
Oh my god, I'm gonna punch somebody who works at Microsoft. I'm gonna punch Bill Gates, AND Steve Ballmer, AND Satya... whatever that guy's name is. ...Satya Nadella. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 973 |
Oh my god, I'm so stupid. We're gonna keep doing it this way, but I'm stupid. |
2018-12-23 |
|
| 1279 |
Oh my god, guys. If you want to succeed the game industry, save your level. Pulitzer prize winning level. Not that the Pulitzer prize is worth anything anymore, but still. |
2020-06-23 |
|
| 1070 |
Oh my god, the flat earth people were right all along! |
2019-04-29 |
|
| 961 |
Oh snap! I made a junior varsity error. |
2018-12-11 |
|
| 107 |
Oh this is an enum, not a struct. DAUUHHH. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 589 |
Oh well. Works fine, ship it. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 777 |
Oh, Matt. Matt, Matt, Matt... |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 774 |
Oh, it's THAT song. Alright. |
2018-10-11 |
|
| 549 |
Oh, now we have to do all this C++ work to babysit the compiler, because I'm an idiot who writes in C++. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 1172 |
Oh, oh. Got little beef jerkies in my keyboard. |
2020-01-02 |
|
| 562 |
Oh. This guy actually knows what he's talking about. That's rare! |
2018-09-02 |
|
| 63 |
Ok, Going to explain it again.....NOPE, you got to re-watch it. |
2017-02-04 |
|
| 1105 |
Okay, I get the programmer dunce cap because I spent an hour on this |
2019-07-30 |
|
| 504 |
Okay, I know how to really exapunk this. You guys wanna watch me exapunk this? |
2018-08-10 |
|
| 1419 |
Okay, kids, definitely steal. |
2021-09-27 |
|
| 1385 |
Okay, look at all the log prints. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Log Prints. This is why it's going to be a little grindy. |
2021-02-11 |
|
| 1293 |
Okay, see. Look. You just keep making random changes to your code. It's eventually correct. That's how you program. Especially if you use the unity game engine. |
2020-06-30 |
|
| 288 |
Okay, so... Let's do a hack. |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 567 |
Okay, that is progress. It is not ingress or postgress, it is progress. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 257 |
Okay, that's good. Its wrong the same, both times. |
2017-11-28 |
|
| 164 |
Okay, there's not gonna be a car in this swamp. |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 821 |
Okay, they're expecting a collapse now, that's a new development. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 1041 |
Okay, whatever. I vented into the comment. |
2019-04-04 |
|
| 1318 |
Okay. This is ass. |
2020-09-30 |
|
| 147 |
Okay. When we re-pointering... |
2017-07-20 |
|
| 627 |
On the one hand, awesome. |
2018-09-14 |
|
| 677 |
Once computers have memory, you do things a different way. |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 1119 |
Once upon a time this was an empty file containing nothing. And I said, "I wish that I could make a programming language as wonderful and amazing as the mighty JavaScript. I wonder if I can do that?" And who knows if we'll succeed, but we've made some progress in that direction. |
2019-08-02 |
|
| 919 |
Once you lost your peppermint chocolate, things are dire! |
2018-11-18 |
|
| 881 |
Once you start to have some bricks in the wall, more bricks fit into the wall better. |
2018-10-20 |
|
| 1113 |
Once you've done damage in the universe, you have to fix it. |
2019-07-31 |
|
| 685 |
One Second Puffs. |
2018-09-23 |
|
| 316 |
One does not simply copy a syntax tree. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 398 |
One's got 2000 dependencies? Bro! Who's that? |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 645 |
Oooh, sitrep. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 39 |
Ouch, yeah. |
2017-01-25 |
|
| 694 |
Our drag is not frame-rate independent, which is pretty poopy. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 1079 |
Our entire society does not have the capability to produce working software right now. |
2019-05-11 |
|
| 412 |
Our gnusto doesn't work. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 640 |
Ow! Sitrep! |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 261 |
Ow! Stop it, routine chickens! |
2017-12-23 |
|
| 273 |
Parsers aren't hard. |
2018-01-06 |
|
| 704 |
Parts of our society are more grounded in things that are well-tested, but some parts are very untested. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 379 |
Patches welcome! |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 1153 |
People are basically crazy. |
2019-10-16 |
|
| 404 |
People are like "Oh, just add this feature it'll be fine," but actually, features are complicated! |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 237 |
People are talking about Netflix in the chat, so obviously what I'm doing is compelling. Nobody in the chat cares about programming, that's fine. |
2017-08-16 |
|
| 1040 |
People ask me how do you succeed in game development - and the answer is save the file. If you don't save the file, you will not succeed in game development. |
2019-03-17 |
|
| 1265 |
People ask me, "How do you succeed in the video game industry?" What do you do to give your game that little bit of extra bit of magic that other games aren't going to have to make people really notice your game and want to play it and tell their friends about it years from now. How do you do this? The answer is, when you add the phase shift, based on position, use croissant-uv instead of just linear-uv. |
2020-06-09 |
|
| 1148 |
People could be watching the squad! |
2019-09-13 |
|
| 867 |
People in the Elite Gaming Elite Platinum Elite Copper Lounge have a goofy image of me. I don't know why. |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 769 |
People like to be weenies about entity-component system on the Internet. |
2018-10-11 |
|
| 1096 |
People still have plenty of time to do their protobufs before demo day. |
2019-07-29 |
|
| 891 |
People use really weird coding standards like you can't put more than 100 lines of code in a file, because that's all that fits in their little Java brains. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 51 |
People who made open gl are assholes. |
2017-01-29 |
|
| 701 |
People who make games are dumb. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 1056 |
People who use the word "code smell" have code smell. |
2019-04-12 |
|
| 868 |
People will hire you if you demonstrate skills that they're impressed by. That's it. |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 1121 |
Philosopher's Stone is a better title. It is one syllable longer, though. Maybe the dumb Americans can't handle one extra syllable. |
2019-08-02 |
|
| 898 |
Pointers are scary. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 313 |
Polymorph matching just broke. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 492 |
Predictably, there is not enough salt on these cashews. Five years from now, when people understand that salt has nothing to do with high blood pressure and heart disease, everyone will be sad for all the bland food they ate for all those years. |
2018-07-31 |
|
| 367 |
Premature optimization is the root of all blah blah blah. |
2018-05-11 |
|
| 988 |
Probably very few arguments are actually worth having. So my goal is I'm just gonna keep making stuff, and if my opinions are right, then I should be able to succeed just by making stuff that's better than what's out there. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 985 |
Productivity per engineer-hour is a measurable number. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 448 |
Psychic debugging, folks. |
2018-06-01 |
|
| 791 |
Put up or shut up. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 351 |
Q: "How much would I have to pay for you to program The Witness in Java?" A: Ahh... 9000 Decibels |
2018-02-12 |
|
| 740 |
RNG... okay, game. Good golf game. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1081 |
Ray Kurzweil thinks he's going to be immortal, and he's older than me, so who knows? |
2019-06-14 |
|
| 602 |
Reading comment: "FIXME FIXME FIXME... Uhh I don't remember what needs to be fixed..." Well if it was that important there's no way it is not already fixed. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 1236 |
Reading other people's websites about entity systems is wrong. |
2020-05-04 |
|
| 1208 |
Real life is not that good of a game. Real life is a really unfair game that is very slow and tedious. |
2020-04-23 |
|
| 849 |
Really? You're gonna unzip right there? |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 1447 |
Refrozen ice cream? That's a crime against humanity! |
2023-05-01 |
|
| 185 |
Remember to like and subscribe. Thanks for the 12-month resub, Joe53! |
2017-07-26 |
|
| 1356 |
Remember when I said that? Sometimes people say things, but then the way they live their life is not concomitant with the values that they express vocally. They say clean your room, but is their room clean? And so forth. I basically did that here. |
2020-11-30 |
|
| 1089 |
Replacement?!? C'mon, you can't replace things! |
2019-07-24 |
|
| 240 |
Rotate your phone bro! ;) |
2017-08-18 |
|
| 667 |
Ruby is so slow, even web people don't use it anymore. |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 1249 |
Run far, far away from any web site that says modern C++ and you'll be fine. |
2020-05-28 |
|
| 642 |
SITREEEP! |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 1180 |
Saying ideas is not worth that much. You have to do the ideas in a way that actually works. |
2020-03-25 |
|
| 1206 |
Saying that your programming language is self-hosting and that that's a big deal and that that's worth telling people about, that's like driving an old rusty Hyundai to work, like you bought a used Hyundai, not even a new Hyundai, know what I mean? |
2020-04-24 |
|
| 296 |
Security is our #374 problem. |
2018-01-16 |
|
| 54 |
See I told you, I was being stupid. |
2017-02-02 |
|
| 1220 |
See, I just had to turn on part of my brain. It could have taken me two more hours of plodding through this kind of debugging. |
2020-05-02 |
|
| 1027 |
See, read the code. Don't just assume. You know what happens when you assume? Then you have to drink some tea. |
2019-02-23 |
|
| 1311 |
See, to fix your program all you have to do is remove the printf's. It's serious high-end, elite programming. |
2020-09-08 |
|
| 1211 |
See, we were good, we're a good person. We were Gallant right there. Gallant comments his things that will not be obvious to people when they look at the code. |
2020-04-27 |
|
| 1296 |
Semicolon expected after a declaration. That's the worst error message in the universe! |
2020-07-19 |
|
| 654 |
Shadowmap aliasing on my left. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 1071 |
Shawarma? I don't like Marvel movies. |
2019-05-05 |
|
| 840 |
She's a strong female character. |
2018-10-16 |
|
| 309 |
Shit, he's here! Banana Man! |
2018-01-29 |
|
| 874 |
Shot by that guy again? That guy's a dick. |
2018-10-20 |
|
| 21 |
Shut up! shut up! I'm giving a presentation. |
2016-07-25 |
|
| 720 |
Sisters. Is that like Brothers? |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 646 |
Sitrep: Don't fuck with me. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 648 |
Sitrep: I am bad. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 644 |
Sitrep: I have blood all over my face. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 818 |
Sitrep: I have preliminarily taken damage. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 655 |
Sitrep: I'm about to be able to not hear anything. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 732 |
Sitrep: It's 1:30 AM and I'm tired. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 784 |
Sitrep: Owned. |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 647 |
Sitrep: This was stupid. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 705 |
Sitrep: We have a circle problem. Over. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 650 |
Sitrep: is that a vehicle? [...] Sitrep: yes. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 652 |
Sitrep: no gun. [...] Sitrep: gun. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 641 |
Sitrep: there's dudes everywhere. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 856 |
Sitrep: we have crashed. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 664 |
Sitrep: we now have 5-factorial subscribers. |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 643 |
Sitrep: when is the game gonna start? |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 780 |
Sitrep: where's my food? |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 1230 |
So Lana's still up. She looks kind of tired, so let's raid her. |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 1050 |
So ass-tastically slow. |
2019-04-09 |
|
| 1405 |
So somebody left the oven on when they left the apartment and it was someone in polymorph. It was one of these three lines. |
2021-04-08 |
|
| 1124 |
So that's a little bit sus. |
2019-08-04 |
|
| 205 |
So the problem with making teas: you think about something and then you forget it! |
2017-08-07 |
|
| 320 |
So type of some type dot best friend should be guy, and we should be matching that against dummy... |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 1309 |
So we're just making a little stack on the stack. I heard you like stacks so I made a stack on your stack so you can stack on your stack while you stack. |
2020-09-07 |
|
| 686 |
So why are we doing all this? We're doing this for the lulz. |
2018-09-23 |
|
| 541 |
Software scales automatically. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 710 |
Solotanz? Do you think this is a dancing game? |
2018-09-25 |
|
| 531 |
Some people think this is just what programming is. Some people do this all day and they're like "yep that's programming." |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 1184 |
Some people want to beat their head against a brick wall really hard over and over until they succeed. And some people just want a sooth ride with no challenge and those latter people will never amount to anything in life but that's still what they want, so let them choose that. |
2020-03-27 |
|
| 634 |
Somebody didn't totally go to game design school. |
2018-09-15 |
|
| 506 |
Somebody has a way exapunkier solution. |
2018-08-10 |
|
| 291 |
Somebody needs to throw Windows off a cliff. |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 292 |
Somebody needs to throw Windows off of a really high cliff, into hot lava. |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 847 |
Somebody own me! I need to get dinner. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 691 |
Someday I'll be done renaming things...I swear! |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 1043 |
Someday I'll fix that. I swear. |
2019-04-05 |
|
| 234 |
Someone call Sony, I'm making Knack 3. This is the best Knack! |
2017-08-16 |
|
| 409 |
Someone in chat mentioned reinventing the wheel? Oh boy I have a whole rant on reinventing the wheel. |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 934 |
Someone is fired. |
2018-11-23 |
|
| 106 |
Something is broken, and I think it's OpenGL. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 1351 |
Sometimes I can program, even when I'm tired and punchy. |
2020-11-29 |
|
| 95 |
Sometimes I get bummed out about how my error messages aren't that good, and then I see this garbage. |
2017-02-07 |
|
| 1388 |
Sometimes clicking "start streaming" button is my way to get myself to start doing things that are useful. |
2021-02-15 |
|
| 1179 |
Sometimes in life you have to miss something really good. |
2020-03-24 |
|
| 1437 |
Sometimes it's just best to make your problems go away, you know? |
2022-09-23 |
|
| 245 |
Sometimes people just want to make decisions that are not the best life decisions and you have to respect that. |
2017-09-25 |
|
| 140 |
Sometimes programming is just about reverting. |
2017-06-26 |
|
| 1024 |
Sometimes that's what programming is like. You try to do a two minute thing, and then you become very sad. |
2019-02-06 |
|
| 103 |
Sometimes things seem wrong but they're actually right. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 271 |
Sometimes we break things. |
2018-01-06 |
|
| 1088 |
Sometimes we do things and they actually make sense. |
2019-07-24 |
|
| 1430 |
Sometimes you have to go to the Michelin 3-star restaurant in your underwear to find the bug. |
2022-03-24 |
|
| 1074 |
Sometimes you just need to break eggs before you can unbreak eggs. |
2019-05-10 |
|
| 1231 |
Sometimes your game is better when it uses more pixels. That's just how it is. |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 195 |
Sometimes, cars don't always stay on their wheels, is all I'm saying. |
2017-07-30 |
|
| 297 |
Sometimes, monkey debugging is the best debugging. |
2018-01-16 |
|
| 18 |
Sooo sub-optimal. |
2016-07-24 |
|
| 12 |
Sorry, I didn't eat enough cookies and my brain sugar is low. |
2016-05-07 |
|
| 1444 |
Spammy in Miami - it's the sequel to Sleepless in Seattle. |
2022-12-05 |
|
| 403 |
Stack Overflow is saying "use std::hash". Yeah, bite me. I'm just gonna mod it by a prime number. |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 470 |
String interpolation? We don't do that because... *sighhh*... Lots of reasons. |
2018-06-06 |
|
| 143 |
Structurally, that was just a tiny, benign tumor. |
2017-06-27 |
|
| 979 |
Successful language design is about realism. |
2018-12-25 |
|
| 682 |
Summer intern could have done that in 10 minutes, but NO! |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 437 |
Summer intern doesn't even test their code. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 148 |
Svn commit -m "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?????!??!?!?!?" |
2017-07-20 |
|
| 55 |
Svn commit -m "Dank." |
2017-02-02 |
|
| 82 |
Swap = true, boom boom. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 1333 |
Syntax error: IQ too low. |
2020-10-23 |
|
| 363 |
THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO!!! |
2018-04-14 |
|
| 824 |
Take the armor! Fucking 10 tick server. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 889 |
Tearing up code is the fun thing. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 588 |
Thank you Emacs for deleting half my file. I don't know how I put up with all of this anymore. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 1229 |
Thank you! I'm quitting video games and all programming for ever. The end. |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 217 |
Thanks Microsoft, for this... program that I payed thousands of dollars for. |
2017-08-11 |
|
| 1080 |
Thanks, Windows, for trying to pretend like you didn't reboot my machine! |
2019-06-14 |
|
| 430 |
That appears to have worked... Ship it! |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 966 |
That crapifies the build process. |
2018-12-15 |
|
| 349 |
That didn't actually fix anything. But it was wrong! |
2018-02-11 |
|
| 912 |
That guy was a bathroom-hider. |
2018-11-12 |
|
| 315 |
That is a failure of the first order, and I don't mean Star Wars. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 900 |
That is a very wrappery wrapper. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 206 |
That is good action, if I may say so. Take that, PowerPoint! |
2017-08-07 |
|
| 969 |
That is not the right code. Don't type that. |
2018-12-22 |
|
| 223 |
That is too lousy. Even I will not do that! |
2017-08-12 |
|
| 208 |
That is worth some chocolate. If I program well I get fat, so that's ok. |
2017-08-07 |
|
| 24 |
That may just be me being stodgy and / or stubborn. |
2016-08-23 |
|
| 1126 |
That may not be hard, but it may be hard. |
2019-08-05 |
|
| 688 |
That must have been just a one-off special Christmas hack that I did. |
2018-09-23 |
|
| 1416 |
That was actually quite easy, but my brain didn't brain. |
2021-07-29 |
|
| 817 |
That was just a festival of me hitting the wrong keys. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 119 |
That was no Half-Life tram ride. |
2017-05-15 |
|
| 158 |
That was some advanced computer science right there. |
2017-07-22 |
|
| 142 |
That was weaksauce! That was the weakest sauce in the sauce-world. |
2017-06-26 |
|
| 374 |
That would be a bug, but it would be one that I don't want to fix right now. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 160 |
That's 2 for 2, by the way, for car flips. |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 1029 |
That's a cleaner pizza pie. |
2019-02-25 |
|
| 9 |
That's a little better. Whatever it's not gonna solve world peace. |
2016-05-07 |
|
| 330 |
That's a very "Russian pencil on the spaceship" kind of solution. |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 1151 |
That's almost, like, not totally unreasonable. |
2019-10-08 |
|
| 576 |
That's better. We're one step further from Javascript on the badness scale. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 441 |
That's how much I hate computers. |
2018-05-31 |
|
| 1222 |
That's how you debug, okay? You don't plod through in the debugger until you see exactly the tiny thing that goes wrong. You do it until you get a picture of the situation and use that picture of the situation combined with your knowledge of what your trying to do and the knowledge of the system as a whole to jump to conclusions. You want to jump to conclusions. |
2020-05-02 |
|
| 666 |
That's it, I'm quitting game development. I'm buying this island. |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 802 |
That's just art game stuff. What matters is that the gun makes a loud bitchin' noise. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 90 |
That's just communist. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 85 |
That's just great when you try to repro something and then you just go Holy *** |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 960 |
That's just how you do it. It's like you go to the weight room. You do a 10 pound weight, then a 15 pound weight next time, and then a 20 pound weight, and before you know it, you're staring in Terminator 7. |
2018-12-10 |
|
| 34 |
That's not even in the shader man, that's totally in the if statement. |
2017-01-22 |
|
| 956 |
That's not gonna make people not sick. |
2018-12-08 |
|
| 1067 |
That's not what "fantastical" means, asshole. God, if you're going to write for the game, learn what words mean. |
2019-04-20 |
|
| 187 |
That's pretty good! |
2017-07-27 |
|
| 680 |
That's professional game development right there. |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 836 |
That's so Rainbow Six-y right there. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 1039 |
That's some Einstein shit right there. |
2019-03-13 |
|
| 80 |
That's the problem with streaming, is that I say stuff and then it gets added to the quotes. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 974 |
That's yesterday's news. Now we're building tunnels under Los Angeles. |
2018-12-23 |
|
| 595 |
The Anti-Defamation League closed my compiler. |
2018-09-04 |
|
| 828 |
The Banana Man? That's not the real Banana Man! |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 325 |
The C++ standards committee is not reality-based. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 360 |
The Mozart candy made my brain start to work. |
2018-04-01 |
|
| 466 |
The Unicode people are crazy. |
2018-06-06 |
|
| 1164 |
The VR isn't making this better. In fact it's making it worse. |
2019-12-03 |
|
| 775 |
The Witness was hard, man. |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 242 |
The amount of idea that I have is zero |
2017-08-26 |
|
| 610 |
The amount of work that gets done in an average Web company is almost zero. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 499 |
The bat is so unlocked. |
2018-08-04 |
|
| 851 |
The boat club OWNS! |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 751 |
The cardboard wall made of styrofoam cardboard. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 613 |
The computer is the most autistic thing, and it just constantly says "No", and you have to navigate that. That's your job. |
2018-09-07 |
|
| 1375 |
The computer will not move the electrons around unless you use getters and setters. It just won't do it. The integrated circuit chips, the CPU clock will not oscillate up and down unless you call a getter. |
2021-01-22 |
|
| 81 |
The difference between bad software and good software is that in good software you go fix the problems. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 496 |
The fact that they're so aggressive about it and they prevent you from stopping it, it is literally insane. The cost to the world of those machines rebooting all the time is higher than whatever security you get from being so strict about it. It is literally pompous and insane and totally out of line. Bizzarely, insanely megalomaniacally out of line. And they get away with it because people put up with it, so I dunno. I guess the world is just gonna end. |
2018-07-31 |
|
| 280 |
The fuck is this?? Get-- ughhhhhhhh, Team Explorer... |
2018-01-10 |
|
| 697 |
The game's done at this point. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 453 |
The game's going to run so much faster with all these semicolons. It's going to be awesome! |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 156 |
The ghost is levying microaggressions at me. |
2017-07-22 |
|
| 138 |
The guards all have shoddy bows. It's the new Benghazi. |
2017-06-06 |
|
| 894 |
The idea that any professional programmer would rely on a random website hosting their source control is bananas. I don't understand. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 118 |
The incoming bullets are weird... they don't feel that incoming. |
2017-05-15 |
|
| 1446 |
The job of a macro is to be more dirty than a function. |
2023-03-04 |
|
| 1235 |
The job of an editor is to let me edit my text file! |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 145 |
The key is to let the people who make the content do most of the work. |
2017-07-20 |
|
| 601 |
The most frustrating time during The Witness voice acting was just the voice actors' union not bothering to get back to us. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 1159 |
The most interesting computational work is not being done in Javascript. |
2019-11-30 |
|
| 487 |
The name of this engine is The Super Amazing Brilliant Better-Than-Unity/Godot Master Amazo Engine. |
2018-07-29 |
|
| 1004 |
The people who make these editors are a word you can't say anymore because it hurts peoples feelings. |
2019-01-03 |
|
| 1339 |
The people who wrote the (graphics device) drivers are a lot like current people running for president in that they don't give and f-k about you at all and don't care how hard of a time you have, and make your life needlessly painful. That is what I don't like about OpenGL. |
2020-10-31 |
|
| 995 |
The police arrested my correct code. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 535 |
The question for next time is kinda like "who is John Galt"... It's "what is CLSID_SetupConfiguration? And why should I care?" |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 1378 |
The reason "DevOps" is popular is because it sounds like you're a secret agent or something, whereas "system administrator" sounds like you're a secretary that's why. That is the only reason. |
2021-01-28 |
|
| 377 |
The reason I don't have much hair right now is OpenGL. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 272 |
The reason atomics are templates in C++ is because C++ went insane. |
2018-01-06 |
|
| 603 |
The reason this is happening is because I am dumb. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 850 |
The self-stun is a pro strat, uh, I saw people who are very pro do that strat. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 884 |
The sticky pad was no longer sticky enough. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 10 |
The type of a type is Type. |
2016-05-07 |
|
| 1316 |
The way that I succeed in life is keeping everything as absolutely simple as possible, right? Which often is quite complicated. |
2020-09-25 |
|
| 61 |
The weights are all -1 which means the problem is that this shader doesn't even lift. |
2017-02-02 |
|
| 575 |
The worst would be to put nothing here at all. Well, the ABSOLUTE worst would be to be Javascript. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 1138 |
Then we had this thing where we decided to switch to phones because it's much better to type on phones and create content on phones. |
2019-08-17 |
|
| 1005 |
There are 11 time zones in this code. |
2019-01-03 |
|
| 1392 |
There comes a time when you have eaten all the chocolates, and there are no more chocolates. It is a very sad time. |
2021-02-23 |
|
| 182 |
There is a thing called criminal negligence. |
2017-07-26 |
|
| 1048 |
There is zero amount of UB in this language. We do not respect the concept of UB. UB stands for "Ugly Bullshit" and I'll have none of it. |
2019-04-06 |
|
| 497 |
There sure is a lot of anime porn stuff on Creative. |
2018-07-31 |
|
| 1061 |
There was this phrase, I forget exactly what it was, but like, "The compiler is smarter than you are" or whatever, and it's not true. It's smarter than you are if you're a bozo. |
2019-04-16 |
|
| 571 |
There's a few things not to do in this channel, and one of them is to advocate for garbage collection. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 285 |
There's a fine art of not getting sidetracked too far from what you're working on. |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 1035 |
There's always more swamp to drain. |
2019-02-27 |
|
| 918 |
There's at least three levels now. There's coder, programmer and engineer. Coder is if you work at Twitter. Programmer is if you work at Infinity War. Engineer is if you work at IBM or NASA. The People who use only JavaScript are definitely coders, or think they're coders. Maybe there's even a fourth level below coder. |
2018-11-18 |
|
| 1118 |
There's code here that's, like, disagreeing. |
2019-08-01 |
|
| 380 |
There's different kinds of programmers. There are programmers who don't really know how anything works, and who just can write glue code and high level things that ask for things to happen and then they hope they happen. And then there's programmers who know how things work and can make stuff from first principles. Those second kinds of programmers are a lot more powerful. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 1042 |
There's gotta be like a spaceship operator version of this, right? |
2019-04-04 |
|
| 433 |
There's no reason that computers don't work that way by default, except that... people... do bad things. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 144 |
There's no weird constructor juice. |
2017-07-10 |
|
| 615 |
There's so much weird irrelevant garbage information on Google that I don't know what to do. |
2018-09-07 |
|
| 251 |
There's some basic bug. |
2017-10-29 |
|
| 17 |
There's this thing in C++ called SFINAE, but it's banana nut balls. |
2016-05-21 |
|
| 1223 |
Therefore, press F to pay respects. [...] I feel like the majority of our streaming audience does have respect. |
2020-05-02 |
|
| 779 |
These people are not delivering my food! Freaking communist... |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 1370 |
They call me Reverta Williams, game developer. |
2021-01-18 |
|
| 742 |
They ignore [input] if the window doesn't have focus. THAT is a sign they they're using Unity or something. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 516 |
They just didn't read my mind. I don't know why. |
2018-08-27 |
|
| 300 |
They keep changing Photoshop, and it doesn't... work. |
2018-01-18 |
|
| 748 |
They look ornery. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 42 |
They should call me Mr T because of all the tea I drink. |
2017-01-25 |
|
| 928 |
They should just put a line on the ground. Pretend it's part of the Super Combat Man Combat HUD. |
2018-11-19 |
|
| 112 |
They're all at z=1. How is that even a good idea? |
2017-03-26 |
|
| 786 |
They're calling me a beta. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 624 |
They're not Internet-flame-bait caliber disagreements. |
2018-09-14 |
|
| 909 |
They're these bad doughy slices of low-quality ingredients. Sorry, that's just how it is. |
2018-11-12 |
|
| 986 |
They've calibrated their methods in a world of easy problems. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 393 |
Thinking about continuation passing was fun back when I was a Scheme fanboy. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 632 |
Third partied! |
2018-09-15 |
|
| 994 |
This UI is so modern that I can't figure out how to do it. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 15 |
This battle required 3 times as much programming as the rest of the game. |
2016-05-15 |
|
| 1372 |
This caching is mostly working. But as you know, there's a big difference between mostly working, and all working. |
2021-01-21 |
|
| 162 |
This car steers like a cow. |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 0 |
This could be very exciting, potentially. |
2016-03-02 |
|
| 1034 |
This game's going to be so baller when it's done. |
2019-02-27 |
|
| 927 |
This guy wasn't even a gamer. |
2018-11-19 |
|
| 855 |
This guy's a noob and I'm a potato. |
2018-10-17 |
|
| 997 |
This is a family channel. We're only playing this for educational purposes. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 329 |
This is a fully mental ... insaino ... crazy disaster. |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 964 |
This is a game about society. |
2018-12-12 |
|
| 356 |
This is a hack. I admit it. |
2018-02-16 |
|
| 1381 |
This is a job for compile time execution, guys! |
2021-02-07 |
|
| 114 |
This is a little bit annoying, because we multiplied by our hack factor and stuff. |
2017-03-26 |
|
| 509 |
This is a millennial game where it doesn't want to show you how bad you are compared to the world. |
2018-08-11 |
|
| 434 |
This is a super-garbage right now, by the way. This is a massive garbage. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 115 |
This is a testament to how far you can get with something that is totally broken. |
2017-03-26 |
|
| 630 |
This is an Activision game, how does it not work?! ...Don't answer that, I know the answer. |
2018-09-15 |
|
| 683 |
This is an award-winning situation. |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 60 |
This is boring and stupid. |
2017-02-02 |
|
| 289 |
This is by far not the fastest way to do this, BUT WHO CARES?!?!?!?!? |
2018-01-15 |
|
| 439 |
This is counter to my entire personality. |
2018-05-31 |
|
| 790 |
This is double plus ungood. |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 507 |
This is game development, people. This is how the sausage gets made. I hope you understand how much effort is going into this. |
2018-08-10 |
|
| 1221 |
This is getting to be a very deep rabbit hole very fast. [...] At this point you give up, you stop programming and you play video games. |
2020-05-02 |
|
| 391 |
This is gnarly enough that I'm gonna put a thing here called @Gnarly |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 1379 |
This is going to be so stupid, it's amazing. |
2021-01-31 |
|
| 46 |
This is gonna be like playing music, but we don't destroy other music. |
2017-01-27 |
|
| 1307 |
This is good, we understand the universe now. |
2020-08-29 |
|
| 1174 |
This is just The Sims with guns. |
2020-01-05 |
|
| 198 |
This is just a horrible paste-orama. |
2017-08-03 |
|
| 1047 |
This is just really not what I want to be seeing. |
2019-04-06 |
|
| 570 |
This is literally unsolvable at a basic level. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 425 |
This is making me mad. Who did this? |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 40 |
This is mostly for you guys. |
2017-01-25 |
|
| 47 |
This is not a dancing stream. |
2017-01-27 |
|
| 781 |
This is obviously a highly professional thing. My next job is as a graphic designer. |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 1253 |
This is officially the last time I use Uber eats. |
2020-05-30 |
|
| 953 |
This is one of those levels where you look at it and you just think "What the fuck?" |
2018-12-04 |
|
| 772 |
This is so bananas. |
2018-10-11 |
|
| 546 |
This is such a garbage. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 1186 |
This is the natural eigenvector of twitch chat. |
2020-03-29 |
|
| 197 |
This is the tax you pay for working in OpenGL. |
2017-08-03 |
|
| 676 |
This is the type of thing that junior programmers do all the time. |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 83 |
This is what UI code is by the way, it's just a bunch of stuff. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 323 |
This is what happens when I don't sleep enough before superstream Sunday. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 366 |
This is what happens when people other than me work on things. |
2018-05-11 |
|
| 1037 |
This is what happens when you burn everything to the ground, it's like... you've got problems. |
2019-02-28 |
|
| 426 |
This is what happens when you design your APIs to assume spaces are not a thing. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 511 |
This is what hell is like. No Exit was written like 40 years too early. |
2018-08-25 |
|
| 593 |
This is why I date my comments. |
2018-09-04 |
|
| 227 |
This is worth getting killed for right here. |
2017-08-14 |
|
| 1261 |
This looks good to me, for some definition of good. |
2020-06-07 |
|
| 605 |
This looks like what happens when you kill the horses in Scum. |
2018-09-05 |
|
| 569 |
This might be a problem that I don't know how to solve. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 74 |
This scrollbar will have explosions. I guarantee. |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 110 |
This should definitely kill one of the dimensions. And it doesn't. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 58 |
This shouldn't be hard, why are you all assholes? |
2017-02-02 |
|
| 1178 |
This was from a Polaroid camera that one of the event organizer had and its very hipster, like the pictures come out pre-sepia toned and faded which I guess is part of the appeal of having a Polaroid camera. |
2020-03-24 |
|
| 387 |
Those are yesterday's breakpoints! |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 163 |
Those cheap European cars *car does a flip* |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 920 |
Time flies sometimes. I don't know where it goes. |
2018-11-18 |
|
| 762 |
Time goes by so fast, I just don't know what to do about it. |
2018-10-04 |
|
| 427 |
To all of you saying "oh just stop complaining and read the documentation it's fine"... do you make good things? |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 465 |
To get into the game industry you need to be good at C++... But, you'd be surprised. |
2018-06-03 |
|
| 238 |
Trying to program in OpenGL is like if you were a Microsoft first-year summer intern and they made you program in Visual F##+++ for Office Team System One and with a Visual Basic++ plugin and you had to program for UWP and everything was just awesome. |
2017-08-16 |
|
| 87 |
Twitch is fascist. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 669 |
Ugh. Okay, so forget my saying that stuff worked the first time. |
2018-09-21 |
|
| 938 |
Uh oh, I messed that up. I was trying to hit F and I hit G... for Gamer. |
2018-11-24 |
|
| 343 |
UltraSearch is so ultra, that it's beyond the need to case-sensitively search. |
2018-02-09 |
|
| 519 |
Understanding your dependencies and minimizing your dependencies is critically important and nobody cares anymore. |
2018-08-28 |
|
| 586 |
Unnecessary complication must be... REMOVED! |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 1200 |
Usually I'm afraid of commitment, but now I'm finally ready. |
2020-04-18 |
|
| 1237 |
Usually when you have an array its full of stuff ... you know. |
2020-05-04 |
|
| 892 |
VS Code? Isn't that one of those editors that's basically a Web browser, and you press a key and it takes 100 milliseconds for your keystroke to register? |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 1181 |
Valve does not really believe in game design, in my opinion. |
2020-03-26 |
|
| 864 |
Video games, man! They just get complicated. |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 1145 |
Video games: they often don't make a lot of sense. |
2019-08-22 |
|
| 396 |
Visual Studio hates programmers |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 1199 |
Visual Studio makes me dislike programming so much that I'm going to eat a large bag of Reese's Pieces and get fat and die. |
2020-04-18 |
|
| 520 |
Vulkan has failed as far as I'm concerned. I don't wanna hear about it, frankly. |
2018-08-29 |
|
| 256 |
Wait, I made the wrong kind of tea! It's a disaster. |
2017-11-28 |
|
| 749 |
Wait, the goblins have an army of orcs? How does that work? |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 319 |
Wait, wanted gave us nothing but given gave us something! |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 407 |
Walk the walk or stop talking the talk. |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 943 |
Walking to the right is dangerous business. |
2018-11-25 |
|
| 636 |
Was that me choking on water? Or was it someone else? |
2018-09-15 |
|
| 68 |
We are SO beyond compiler bug territory. We're past the thunderdome here. |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 1197 |
We are going to break everything today, and it's gonna be Awesome. |
2020-04-18 |
|
| 963 |
We are in the middle of not knowing right now. |
2018-12-12 |
|
| 702 |
We are not in a society that is oriented around making things that are meaningful or deep or aesthetically beautiful. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 1358 |
We are three times as far into the future as Max Headroom ever was. That's all I'm going to say about that. |
2020-11-30 |
|
| 1100 |
We can compile a program faster than cloc can count the lines in it. |
2019-07-29 |
|
| 1224 |
We can't have a code deletion party on an empty stomach. |
2020-05-02 |
|
| 724 |
We could delete PUBG, because we're probably not ever gonna play it. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 672 |
We could do React.js. SIKE!!! |
2018-09-21 |
|
| 1226 |
We deleted all the code that makes the CPU keep us warm by spinning all the time. |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 1217 |
We did the wrong thing. How is this even working? |
2020-05-02 |
|
| 1389 |
We do not make progress by merely by complaining about all the bad programmers, we also make progress by implementing useful functionality in a powerful way that works robustly, and so we shall continue to do that now. |
2021-02-15 |
|
| 1203 |
We do not order pineapple on pizza in this house. |
2020-04-19 |
|
| 1285 |
We don't FU in this language. |
2020-06-29 |
|
| 536 |
We don't host Javascript here, unless I'm too tired to notice that it's Javascript. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 620 |
We got a problemo. The most important part of that is "lame-o". |
2018-09-12 |
|
| 782 |
We gotta own some noobs while there's still noobs. |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 1384 |
We gotta return the string, guys, otherwise we ain't going to succeed in the games industry. |
2021-02-11 |
|
| 1187 |
We have a superpower. Our superpower is that we're old. |
2020-04-04 |
|
| 188 |
We have come to the time where "later" is now. |
2017-07-27 |
|
| 312 |
We have different definitions of the word "works". |
2018-01-31 |
|
| 324 |
We have problems. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 1295 |
We have string metaphors. I mean, we do have string figuratives also, but people say string figurative when they mean string literal, so we just gave up and made string figuratives and string literals be the same thing. And so when we did that, we had to make string metaphors, which are the old semantics of string figuratives. |
2020-07-19 |
|
| 1435 |
We have too many red fives standing by. |
2022-07-23 |
|
| 1044 |
We just need to push the reboot button on every technical decision involved in the world wide web. |
2019-04-05 |
|
| 975 |
We just want to be all Mike Acton and understand our data now. |
2018-12-23 |
|
| 1014 |
We might start an international incident if we play this. |
2019-01-06 |
|
| 1264 |
We need to bring back villains that say "You have failed me for the last time." |
2020-06-09 |
|
| 551 |
We no longer need to run VCVars. Or run VSWhere. Or run VSBoondogleBS 1.7. |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 1097 |
We proto'd our buf successfully. |
2019-07-29 |
|
| 49 |
We see arguments. It's like seeing dead people, but different. |
2017-01-28 |
|
| 1360 |
We should just call this game "Push, push, push," and then people will think it's a pregnancy simulator. |
2020-12-04 |
|
| 35 |
We still don't, to this day, know how to make things weigh the same as a duck. |
2017-01-22 |
|
| 105 |
We want high resolution cute kittens. |
2017-03-25 |
|
| 618 |
We were in the 80s and now we're in the 90s. |
2018-09-12 |
|
| 1139 |
We will start in 1.173265 minutes. |
2019-08-17 |
|
| 1137 |
We'll give slowpokes six minutes to get here, |
2019-08-17 |
|
| 4 |
We'll just have a "bottom of the screen is not in view" day. |
2016-03-17 |
|
| 1348 |
We're basically three times as good as par. |
2020-11-28 |
|
| 1267 |
We're doing this the efficient programmer way, but we could do this the modern programmer way. |
2020-06-11 |
|
| 392 |
We're down to 10300 lines in this file, one day it might be below ten thousand again. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 98 |
We're getting nested here. |
2017-02-07 |
|
| 345 |
We're getting rid of the A's~ |
2018-02-09 |
|
| 1025 |
We're going to have to actually look at what the code is doing, as opposed to just typing things. |
2019-02-06 |
|
| 681 |
We're gonna have a little unicorn tail here, but we're gonna sitrep that right out. |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 675 |
We're gonna have to increment the cake counter later tonight. |
2018-09-22 |
|
| 738 |
We're gonna have to whack this real hard. ...Maybe too hard. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 410 |
We're gonna keep pushing it til it breaks, because I'm pretty sure I know how to break it. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 981 |
We're gonna need an intense fuzz session on that. |
2018-12-26 |
|
| 936 |
We're gonna push some blocks like we often do in this game. |
2018-11-24 |
|
| 581 |
We're in 3-digit subscriber numbers! Now the Illuminati will send me a message saying "you're so famous now, we're going to tell you all the Illuminati secrets." |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 1326 |
We're in C++ so we have to say "++". That's the rule. |
2020-10-16 |
|
| 424 |
We're in full on computer disaster right now. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 243 |
We're just gonna die, it's fine. |
2017-09-18 |
|
| 1111 |
We're just not like crappy pixel-art indie. |
2019-07-31 |
|
| 451 |
We're making the program so much better by putting semicolons in. |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 282 |
We're not doing foofoo softie stuff. |
2018-01-13 |
|
| 947 |
We're not quite at the chai line, but we're getting there. |
2018-12-02 |
|
| 423 |
We're only missing our entire program that we actually want. |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 929 |
We're still 0-bagging, but we're survivor-baggin'. Like Bilbo Baggins was a survivor, you know? |
2018-11-19 |
|
| 75 |
We're trackin' |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 207 |
We're writing so many programs, we don't even know which one has to run now. |
2017-08-07 |
|
| 1015 |
We've already basically played everything tonight. Basically. |
2019-01-06 |
|
| 508 |
We've already won at game development. |
2018-08-10 |
|
| 957 |
We've got to figure out which chain-link is not fencing. |
2018-12-09 |
|
| 1007 |
Web programming is the janitor work of programming. |
2019-01-06 |
|
| 57 |
Well it didn't work, and we can't debug it. So that's it. I quit programming now. |
2017-02-02 |
|
| 1092 |
Well, I'm glad to be rid of those 200 lines because some of them were hairy and I was scared of them. |
2019-07-26 |
|
| 1259 |
Well, it didn't take an hour to output red. |
2020-06-07 |
|
| 382 |
Well, it'll just be broken until next time. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 530 |
Well, this garbage compiles. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 583 |
Well, this is a real question. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 1232 |
Well, we printed some pointers. I hope you enjoyed those pointers. |
2020-05-03 |
|
| 239 |
Well, welcome to OpenGL. |
2017-08-18 |
|
| 638 |
What I really need is a sitrep. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 998 |
What I'm doing today is obviously not the optimum, but it's clearly the best thing I can do after 37 years of experience programming. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 344 |
What a garbage. |
2018-02-09 |
|
| 765 |
What a garbage. |
2018-10-04 |
|
| 146 |
What are ScriptableObjects? Is that a Unity thing? Are you seriously asking me about a Unity thing? |
2017-07-20 |
|
| 331 |
What are all of these windows? Let's get rid of these things... |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 332 |
What did we learn? We learned that system is a disaster in windows and you shouldn't use it. |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 1013 |
What do I ever say that's important? The code is important! |
2019-01-06 |
|
| 416 |
What do you think wires are? They're tubes with electrons going through them. Your connection to the Internet is a series of tubes, that's just how it is. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 735 |
What happens if my ball gets stabbed? ...don't make that a quote. |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 500 |
What happens when you take an action platformer and you subtract level design, and the levels are just... stuff? (Which is what Metroid is, by the way.) |
2018-08-04 |
|
| 761 |
What if I do something exciting like download Windows? Wouldn't that be cool? |
2018-10-04 |
|
| 1017 |
What if you want to make a really positive integer at some point? 10 megabytes might not be enough. |
2019-01-09 |
|
| 528 |
What is a BSTR? You know what, I don't want to know. It's something... a BSTR is just something. |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 527 |
What is all this? |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 700 |
What is holding back boxes of detergent at the groceery store from becoming a socially acceptable artistic medium? |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 699 |
What is holding back porn films from becoming a socially acceptable artistic medium? |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 1257 |
What is this C# .... They wanted this to be as slow as possible |
2020-06-07 |
|
| 807 |
What is this fiction that we're all surprised that we want to shoot each other? |
2018-10-13 |
|
| 77 |
What is this game about? It's about pushing boxes. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 501 |
What is your objective argument that red is a nice color? |
2018-08-04 |
|
| 982 |
What kind of game do you think this is? Of course there's a struct "Egg". |
2018-12-26 |
|
| 1428 |
What kind of idiot dedicates their life to video games? I don't even understand how I ended up here. |
2022-02-18 |
|
| 72 |
What the hell tea is this? |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 381 |
What the hell were people doing in here? |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 322 |
What was I smoking last night? [...] I was smoking the right thing, apparently. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 1336 |
What's 30 Braids in decibels is what you guys should be asking. |
2020-10-28 |
|
| 743 |
What? Now the window is on my other monitor! |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 419 |
When I look at gamedev it kinda sucks. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 472 |
When I try to undo nothing happens! Oh my god! It's just like all those games that don't have undo! |
2018-06-07 |
|
| 984 |
When I'm designing this programming language, I'm doing it in a chef-like way. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 428 |
When did Google get so crappy? |
2018-05-30 |
|
| 1300 |
When you buttify, you have to spread. |
2020-07-23 |
|
| 1368 |
When you cast an integer to another size, you should cast the integer to the other size. THAT is my tip of how to succeed in the game industry that overrides all previous tips previously ever given, except any tip about getting good. |
2021-01-14 |
|
| 346 |
When you cross off an item on your todo list, you want it to feel good. |
2018-02-10 |
|
| 339 |
When you screw up an API like this, Everybody pays for it for a long time FOREVER. |
2018-02-06 |
|
| 611 |
When you're learning to program, for the many, many years that it takes, the one thing that the computer is telling you constantly, all the times is "You're dumb, and you're wrong and what you're trying to do doesn't work." That is your conversation with the computer for *years*, until you get good. |
2018-09-07 |
|
| 1028 |
When your syntax highlighting looks like angry fruit salad, how does that help you anyway? |
2019-02-24 |
|
| 665 |
Where is freedom of speech on here? |
2018-09-20 |
|
| 835 |
Who could have predicted that there would be a further collapse? |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 252 |
Who doesn't want to get off Emacs? It's terrible. |
2017-10-29 |
|
| 1066 |
Who fucking designed this game? |
2019-04-17 |
|
| 350 |
Who knows what the hell "decibels" means? I still don't know. I know what they mean but I still don't know what they mean. |
2018-02-12 |
|
| 778 |
Whoa! Rep is bigger than sit! |
2018-10-12 |
|
| 370 |
Whoa, there's really not that many compiler errors left. We may soon be close to the time when we get to run it and watch it crash because I did something horribly wrong. |
2018-05-25 |
|
| 649 |
Whoa. Didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition. |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 303 |
Whoever animated that didn't know anything about... anything. |
2018-01-28 |
|
| 13 |
Whoever designed that would be fired from my company. |
2016-05-14 |
|
| 125 |
Whoever designed this part of the game is fired. |
2017-05-18 |
|
| 224 |
Whoops! I'm makin' all kind of typos. |
2017-08-12 |
|
| 865 |
Why am I in Witness?? |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 334 |
Why am I wasting my life doing this? |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 741 |
Why are VR games such pieces of poop? |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1003 |
Why are all editors terrible? I don't understand. |
2019-01-03 |
|
| 70 |
Why are people backseat driving? |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 443 |
Why are people working on things? |
2018-05-31 |
|
| 1462 |
Why are they making a new Top Gun movie? Because Tom Cruise defeated the Death Star in the last one, and now he needs to face the AT-AT walkers. |
2024-01-15 |
|
| 1408 |
Why can't life just be me eating ice cream? |
2021-05-22 |
|
| 871 |
Why did I do that? This is awful. |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 159 |
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he didn't want to get shot. |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 1415 |
Why do I even internet? |
2021-07-26 |
|
| 202 |
Why do I have a preference for right-handed coordinates? Because they're better. |
2017-08-04 |
|
| 553 |
Why do I have to do this just because somebody else decided to build a hamster wheel I have to run on? |
2018-08-31 |
|
| 476 |
Why do diamonds roll so much? I don't know... |
2018-06-19 |
|
| 728 |
Why do you think this is a game? |
2018-09-30 |
|
| 1350 |
Why does my web cam look so nice? That's just me. I look really nice. So ... I just make everything good. |
2020-11-29 |
|
| 134 |
Why does the red top make my suspenders not be there? |
2017-06-03 |
|
| 1281 |
Why don't you guys start talking about what colors you should use for Javascript syntax highlighting. I really would like to know that. What size protobufs should you use in order to get maximum syntax highlighting for Javascript? |
2020-06-28 |
|
| 689 |
Why don't you just go to Mars and make awesome space robots that breakdance? |
2018-09-23 |
|
| 326 |
Why don't you tell me what capability? Because you don't give a shit, because you don't care that people can't use your API. |
2018-02-05 |
|
| 844 |
Why is everybody not playing the good mode? |
2018-10-16 |
|
| 270 |
Why is this the game that I'm playing? |
2017-12-26 |
|
| 91 |
Why isn't it accepting 15 16? That's just communist. |
2017-02-06 |
|
| 1065 |
Why would I ask the robot? The robot doesn't know anything. |
2019-04-17 |
|
| 408 |
Windows 10 is getting worse and worse. It's a better time now to displace Windows than any other time in history. |
2018-05-28 |
|
| 494 |
Windows Update Facilitation Service... Startup type: Disabled. Access is denied?? "I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that." |
2018-07-31 |
|
| 250 |
Windows has NEVER found a solution to the problem. |
2017-10-29 |
|
| 657 |
Without mobility and owning that guy I would be so dead right now. |
2018-09-17 |
|
| 1247 |
Working with Unreal Engine is like doing your taxes every day for the rest of your life. |
2020-05-14 |
|
| 2 |
Wow, I just ate something weird. |
2016-03-02 |
|
| 829 |
Wowsers. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 991 |
Wrap everything in 17 smart pointers. |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 56 |
Y'all ready to try an experiment? |
2017-02-02 |
|
| 1144 |
Yeah, I just live in some other reality. |
2019-08-20 |
|
| 671 |
Yeah, I learned how to do this on paper in grade school, guys. |
2018-09-21 |
|
| 1152 |
Yeah, I worked on The Witness a little bit. |
2019-10-16 |
|
| 481 |
Yeah, decibels are worse than the Web. Except that, the web is more pervasive, so yeah. |
2018-07-19 |
|
| 397 |
Yeah, don't read Hacker News about productivity. It's not a good source. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 483 |
Yeah, minimalist is not a good excuse for "I didn't work very hard on this." |
2018-07-19 |
|
| 454 |
Yeah, that's just bad juju if we crash. |
2018-06-02 |
|
| 888 |
Yeah, the bar for quotes seem pretty low right now. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 275 |
Yeah, the chat is not some beacon of intellectual amazingness. |
2018-01-06 |
|
| 469 |
Yeah, this is kinda stinky. |
2018-06-06 |
|
| 1303 |
Yeah, why would you program and design video games, when you can be a moose. I mean, think about it. |
2020-08-16 |
|
| 161 |
Yeah. Let's play again and not die. |
2017-07-24 |
|
| 1412 |
You can choose not respond to something, but the problem is you've perceived the thing, and it has disturbed your tranquility. |
2021-06-22 |
|
| 599 |
You can intend all day for your code to get fast and it won't actually get faster. |
2018-09-04 |
|
| 815 |
You can't balance a game that's full of garbage guns. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 67 |
You can't multiply in C++ because it is a pointer dereference. |
2017-02-05 |
|
| 993 |
You can't say my opinion about clock cycles is wrong! |
2019-01-01 |
|
| 411 |
You didn't need to type bracket T typename fuckity fuck for every single one. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 1195 |
You don't ever want to design Portal 2 if you can help it. |
2020-04-13 |
|
| 388 |
You don't get a car! And you don't get a car! And you don't get a car! |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 99 |
You don't have to finish Stephen's Sausage Roll, you're just missing possibly the greatest puzzle game of all time. It's your choice, man. |
2017-02-07 |
|
| 341 |
You don't know exactly what a game is when you start it. |
2018-02-09 |
|
| 1400 |
You don't want to be a GTA developer, that's all I'm saying. |
2021-03-03 |
|
| 976 |
You don't want your compiler to die on a thousand indie games. |
2018-12-23 |
|
| 1140 |
You get reasonable error messages for some definition of reasonable. |
2019-08-17 |
|
| 417 |
You have a certain limited band of frequencies, and if you put waves that exceed the Nyquist limit, then nobody's gonna be able to decode it. That's what bandwidth is: it's the fact that your connection is a TUBE. |
2018-05-29 |
|
| 1459 |
You have to compile the compiler if you want to succeed in the compiler industry. |
2023-12-27 |
|
| 1266 |
You have to decide to get serious. |
2020-06-10 |
|
| 192 |
You have to make sure your thing is good, so you know it's worth people's time. |
2017-07-27 |
|
| 488 |
You have to understand that there are a lot of programming subcultures, and they all call the same set of 5 ideas 17 different things. |
2018-07-29 |
|
| 1431 |
You know how they say there's Covid toe? I wonder if there's Covid left-half-of-back-of-your-neck. |
2022-03-30 |
|
| 1451 |
You know we're programming in C++ now, boy! Just look at all these errors! |
2023-07-12 |
|
| 1099 |
You know when you look under your bed and there's like hairballs and cat barf because you had a cat 10 years ago and it died and you never cleaned under your bed, that's what we're doing right now. Or like you forgot you had a cat, and there's a dead cat under the bed? You're like "Oh, that's what's been going on." |
2019-07-29 |
|
| 896 |
You know who was on the Visual Studio programming team? Ali G. Here's when he was consulting with the Visual Studio team on designing the interface: [plays video of Ali G saying "nine nine nine nine nine..."] He was an intern at Microsoft when they were wondering how many zeroes to put here. |
2018-10-22 |
|
| 639 |
You know, I bet that when you win in this game it doesn't even say chicken dinner. It probably says like, "Sitrep: you were the only one left alive." |
2018-09-16 |
|
| 1443 |
You know, I sure hope honey doesn't have any calories in it. |
2022-12-05 |
|
| 1006 |
You know, sometimes people as me how do you get into the game industry, how do you really succeed? And I say the answer is don't snake, snake, but sometimes even I'm not able to avoid snake, snaking apparently, so maybe I just have to quit. Maybe my life is sad. |
2019-01-03 |
|
| 317 |
You know, sometimes you just can't run rc.exe. And you need to do some gaming. |
2018-02-04 |
|
| 940 |
You know. Kitten, bunny, squirrel. |
2018-11-24 |
|
| 298 |
You may ask yourself, "where did my shadowmap go?" |
2018-01-16 |
|
| 128 |
You might say "7 instructions, that sounds like a lot", but it's way way less than taking a cache miss, bucko! |
2017-05-25 |
|
| 1060 |
You put your ass in the chair, you DO IT, and then you have something to feel good about. |
2019-04-14 |
|
| 910 |
You should be constantly evaluating what you think you know, and modifying it based on your experience. |
2018-11-12 |
|
| 598 |
You totally couldn't do this in caveman days. |
2018-09-04 |
|
| 348 |
You will respect my velocity! |
2018-02-11 |
|
| 378 |
You would be donating in decibels, obviously. In gamma-corrected decibels. |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 813 |
You'll be sorry you landed the same place I landed. Unless I fuck up, in which case you won't be sorry. |
2018-10-15 |
|
| 1276 |
You'll die in the fire, so that's a minor problem with that plan. |
2020-06-20 |
|
| 22 |
You'll go bananas trying to deal with this problem. |
2016-07-25 |
|
| 1163 |
You're a computer nerd, you're never going to want that cable to be rolled up again. Screw you, buddy. |
2019-12-03 |
|
| 515 |
You're just bothering me with information that's not correct, Microsoft people who think you're really smart. ... I don't know why everyone at Microsoft isn't fired at this point. |
2018-08-27 |
|
| 1290 |
You're not allowed to criticize reasonable users for being confused by a bad ui. |
2020-07-10 |
|
| 1407 |
You're not going to win the Tour de France with training wheels on your bicycle. That's just not a .. thing. Anyone who thinks they should go compete in the Tour de France with training wheels on their bicycle clearly has no competition experience. Now clearly you can make an argument that they should, 'cause look, if you fall over during the race, that's really bad, and the training wheels will keep you from falling over. It's a mistake |
2021-04-27 |
|
| 590 |
Your argument is not valid, as Reddit users would say. |
2018-09-03 |
|
| 153 |
Your microaggressions disturb me. |
2017-07-22 |
|
| 179 |
[Casey] I am literally stuck in a fucking pool. |
2017-07-26 |
|
| 152 |
[Casey] I bought Youtube Red for that reason too. [Jon] I bought Redtube for that reason too. |
2017-07-22 |
|
| 178 |
[Casey] I regret to inform the academy that I still do not have a firearm. |
2017-07-26 |
|
| 181 |
[Casey] It's an unsolved problem in computer science to know whether or not you can see somebody. |
2017-07-26 |
|
| 274 |
[Casey] Pube-g is happening. |
2018-01-06 |
|
| 364 |
[Casey] We haven't even been given a goal, and we already have more items than a Costco. |
2018-04-14 |
|
| 1245 |
[Casey] Why do all the games have to be bad? |
2020-05-10 |
|
| 183 |
[Casey] You know, I just realized crossbow spoonerizes to boss crow. |
2017-07-26 |
|
| 310 |
[Chris] Someone's trying to, uh... kill you, I guess. |
2018-01-29 |
|
| 176 |
[Devon] I'm at peak manifestation right now. |
2017-07-25 |
|
| 1033 |
[In Zambia] The truck driver was trying to smuggle us past the 12-year old gang members with assault rifles. It was a pretty complete Africa experience. We rode on the truck with like 16 people piled into it. |
2019-02-27 |
|
| 870 |
[Jai] For Dummies has a single page, but it doesn't say "get out", it says "git gud." |
2018-10-18 |
|
| 173 |
[Jon] You don't look particularly hidden right now. [tek256] I'm in the shadows, I--Oh god! [gunshots] |
2017-07-25 |
|
| 560 |
[On the Windows Store, looking at Candy Crush clones] Look, all these games are 4 stars or above. These are great games! |
2018-09-02 |
|
| 1087 |
[doing a Jedi handwave] You do not want to go in that direction, says the game. |
2019-07-21 |
|
| 1045 |
\q+ Somebody give me an operating system that doesn't close all my programs every random() MOD 8 number of nights, and that actually works! |
2019-04-06 |
|
| 1204 |
cmuratori: Look we need to talk about monads in Go (gonads), etc. |
2020-04-20 |
|
| 526 |
find_visual_studio_in_a_ridiculous_garbage_way :: () { |
2018-08-30 |
|
| 384 |
it's a webpage! of course it doesn't work! |
2018-05-26 |
|
| 337 |
oh that's it, I see what I'm sayin' |
2018-02-06 |
|
| 1322 |
printf() has the 'F' for paying respects built in. That's how smart the makers of the C programming language were. |
2020-10-02 |
|
| 706 |
std::vector. Sign of quality. |
2018-09-24 |
|
| 235 |
svn commit -m "Started implementing Knack 3 for the $$$$$$ franchise MEGABUX" |
2017-08-16 |
|
| 484 |
this guy has zero viewers. No camera, no audio... But, y'know! |
2018-07-19 |
|
| 355 |
well isnt that amazing look at oh fuck |
2018-02-16 |
|
| 354 |
wow i was really on drugs when i did this |
2018-02-16 |
|